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Archive for Renee Knowles

My Valentine

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

It’s Valentine’s Day. You can tell by all the ads targeting us with jewelry, flowers, and of course, chocolate. Thoughts automatically turn to love. So, I decided to blog today about the first time I fell in love—with my son. As an adoptive mom, you don’t have the joy of feeling that first kick in your belly. You don’t get to see their little bodies forming on an ultrasound, and as an internationally adoptive parent, you don’t get to be present at your child’s birth.

What you do get is a picture and medical report—and if you are really lucky, you get a short video of your child-to-be. We were lucky enough to have a video of our son. In the months leading up to our trip to South Korea to get our boy, I must have watched this short piece of film a million times. He was seven months old in the video. I watched every movement of his face, every nuance in the way he touched and explored things, and his glorious little laugh. I felt each viewing gave me new insight into this boy who I’d never met, but I knew was going to be my child for the rest of our lives.

There was already a tug on my heartstrings. But how could I know what I would experience when I first met my boy. How my heart would swell so much I felt my chest expand from it. How I could not breathe from the hope and future I saw in his eyes.

But let me back up at bit here.

Before I could see my son, we had to wait for travel clearance (which seemed to take forever) and then fly to South Korea and WAIT an entire night at the adoption agency’s guest house before his foster family would bring him to the guest house for us to see.

But the next morning, after a night of no sleep, and a stomach too restless to eat, we would go downstairs to the clinic and see our son. Before we even reached the glass door of the clinic, we caught a glimpse of a boy, much older and chubbier than the photos we had still in a small album in our room. He was in the arms of his foster mom with hair in front sticking straight up.

And he was the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.

We all went inside a play room with our son’s social worker, and we were able to play with him and very briefly hold him. And I know it sounds fanciful. I know many people find it hard to believe. But right then, in that very moment, I fell in love. That love has only grown as my time with him has progressed. Now, we are a team, I tell him. We are the mommy and Jaime team.

So, happy Valentine’s Day to my little sweetie. And to all the parents out there and their little loves. What better way to celebrate the day of love than by being a mom?

 

 

 

 

 

PLOTTERS VS. PANTSERS

Monday, August 31st, 2009

PLOTTERS VS. PANTSERS–a fun look at both sides of the issue from Eliza Knight and Renee Knowles…

The Plotter

by Eliza Knight

Plotting? Pantsing?

They both sound uncomfortable, and for those who have a preference, one can be quite painful. I’ve tried both and come to the conclusion I am a plotter, through and through. If I can’t be in control it makes me squirm! Probably part of my majorly Type A personality…

Today I thought I’d take you through my experience with the pantsing so you can see how painful it was for this here control freak to let go, (and secretly see why I think pansters are crazy! Just kidding…lol)

Monday 8:30am – wait! Scratch that I’m pantsing, make it 8:37…

They say pantsters fly by the seat of their pants, I’ve got my basic character sketches, and I’m hoping that my fingers will soar across the keyboard.

8:39am…Not so bad. I’ve written a whole paragraph.

8:41am…I’m starting to sweat. I want to know exactly what is going to happen…

8:45am…Biting nails and rapidly tapping foot. I’m only one sentence past my initial paragraph.

8:47am…I’ve ripped off my pants and tossed the computer! I can’t take it! I must plot my story from beginning to end, and while I do allow for some minor changes and character drivenness, I just can’t handle not knowing anything…

Seriously though, I have tried pantsing. It’s actually how I first started writing, and two years later I’d finished two novels. BUT, one of them I had to rewrite literally 6 times—doing the math on a 95K manuscript, that means I really wrote 570,000 words for one novel!!! The second novel was only 50K, and I’ve re-written it once, and tossed it into the deepest darkest corner of my hard-drive for a day I have more time.

For some, they don’t mind the rewrites, or maybe they are even blessed enough to pants it and get everything down in at least one or two shots, but not me, and I’m not talking just edits, we all do those.

Now I plot meticulously. I have my character sketches, my synopsis and my chapter outlines done before I start writing. Of course it’s not set in stone and I do make changes, but I’ve found with the way I plot, there are NO rewrites, and I only have to edit each chapter 2 maybe 3 times before I’m satisfied.

I hope you pansters find the humor in my teasing, and I hope you plotters feel like you’re not alone!!!

Cheers!

Eliza

The Pantser

Hello, plotters–this is how the other half lives!

by Renee Knowles

Eliza told you about the pain she endured trying to be a pantser. Oh, what she’s suffered. :)

I have to admit that I have suffered too. For a long time I was sure something must be wrong with me. It seemed every writer I knew was telling me about a new plotting system. One would advise me about how to make up a 60-page outline for a 250-page book. Another one just took a class at their RWA chapter and learned an entirely new system for plotting—she gave me books and worksheets and character charts. Some of which made great scrap paper for my grocery lists.

Don’t get me wrong. All these writer friends had the best of intentions. And I appreciated every one of them. But these systems confounded me. I would sit there staring at them blankly waiting for the same inspiration to strike me that my fellow writers were feeling. What was wrong with me? I wondered. What writing gene was I missing that everyone else seemed to have in spades? How on earth was I supposed to know all this?

That was it, I decided. I was defective. I’d never make it as a writer. I was doomed to simply sit on the sidelines as I had in gym class throughout middle school.

Then one day I gave up. I cleared my desk of all the plotting clutter. And I just began to write.

Viola! The words flowed from me. Heck, it was almost as if a dam had broken loose. This book became my first published book, Going Topless.

I realized I was a “pantser.” (Aha! There is even a name for it!) And the realization allowed me to finally relax and let the story play itself out. It was a revelation. An awakening. At least for me, “pantsing” is the only way to inspire my muse.

And I’ve never had cause to look back.

Hugs,

Renee

Bios:

Eliza Knight

Eliza is the author of multiple sizzling historical romances and Highlander time travel erotic romance novellas published by The Wild Rose Press. She is a freelance copy editor, Newsletter Editor for Hearts Through History Romance Writers, and President of the Celtic Hearts Romance Writers. Eliza is the author of the award-winning blog, History Undressed and has published numerous articles in various newsletters. She presents workshops on history, researching techniques and writing craft, to writing groups online. Visit Eliza: www.elizaknight.com, www.historyundressed.blogspot.com

Renee Knowles

Renee Knowles is an award-winning contemporary and historical romance author. She is also the author of the writing how-to series SAVVY BUSINESS SKILLS FOR WRITERS, covering everything from career planning to networking and promoting on a budget to no-fear public speaking. Available now at Wild Child Publishing. Check out Renee’s website at www.reneeknowles.com.

Jealousy…The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

I admit it: I am a jealous person. Hmm, let me qualify that. I am a jealous person at times. When warranted (at least to me : )) and when I feel the emotion is worth it. I don’t mind admitting this. I am human, and envy, jealousy, is a fact of life. Nor do I think this makes me weak. In fact, I would say that jealousy—be it professional, personal, or romantic—has often helped me to strive to be a better person.

There is little satisfaction in simply being jealous though. At its best, envy or jealousy can make you work harder, try something new, expand your horizons and challenge your mind. It can make you strive to be the best you can be. It can turn from a pesky, hurtful feeling (or even hateful) into admiration.

Yet, at its worst it is a vengeful, sneaky monster that can sever relationships and make good people do bad things. It can make you tear down someone or lash out at a friend, spouse or lover. It can even cause wars.

What does this all have to be with being a mama writer? As a writer, I have often tried to ignore the pangs of envy that seep into my bones when I hear about a new, upcoming author hitting unheard of sales numbers or receiving a six-figure advance. Or perhaps a writer who consistently hits the top of the lists that perhaps I personally don’t find appealing. I didn’t want this jealousy to work into my writing, or worse to leave me so downtrodden I gave up.

The same goes for being a mom. I have had the privilege to meet some amazing and accomplished moms. A few leave me in awe. Sometimes I have to wonder if these women even have time in their lives with all they do to sleep and eat.

But in both these cases, I’ve felt it beneath me to admit to the jealousy. Until now. I’ve begun to realize that I am a better mom and writer due to these feelings. I have accomplished more because of this envy and in the end I have become a more complete mama writer.

In moderation, jealousy can be a good thing. While I’m not advocating finding something to be envious of, I am saying that if it happens, learn from it and turn it into a good thing.

After all, don’t they say when life hands you lemons, make lemonade? I say, when the green monster rears its head, let it lead you toward a positive, rewarding change in your own life.

Renee

SAVVY BUSINESS SKILLS FOR WRITERS
Available Now from Wild Child Publishing

COURTING TROUBLE–Nominated for Best Novella of 2008 by LASR!
Available Now  from The Wild Rose Press

www.reneeknowles.com

Mommy Needs Some Romance…

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

When we first adopted our son, I spent all my time and energy on him. And rightfully so. He needed me—and I needed him. We played, laughed, cried, were sick together, up all night together and we grew very attached. We found common ground, bonded and became a family. Suddenly I was a mommy. And I was thrilled to be so.

But sometime in the last several months I’ve begun to remember that I am a woman too.  A woman who needs “me” time, friends of my own, an occasional splurge at the mall, and a rare café au lait that I can actually sip instead of chug because I have to tend to my little one.

And, yes, I need romance as well.

After all, I am a romance writer. It’s in my nature. I have a bit of a romantic spirit and believe love does make the world a better place.

So why do I feel guilty about all this? Why do I feel like I should be happy only being a mom? Do I have June Cleaver syndrome?  

I almost feel like two people—Renee and Mommy. Though I encounter women everyday who seamlessly blend the two personas, I am still working through this. I notice my husband doesn’t seem to have this issue. Yet, my sister said to me the other day that she could not even bear to be away from her children when they were my son’s age for an hour.  And many moms I know echo her sentiments.

While I miss my son when I am away from him, I find I enjoy that time too. It’s time to refill the well, have some adult conversation and explore my many interests. I come back to my son recharged, excited, more fulfilled and ready to be his mom again.

Does that make me a bad mommy? Will I ever lose the split personality? (Okay, as much as June-born Gemini girl can :)

How do you more experienced moms handle this?

Renee

Renee Knowles
 
SAVVY BUSINESS SKILLS FOR WRITERS
Available Now from Wild Child Publishing

COURTING TROUBLE–Nominated for Best Novella of 2008 by LASR!
Available Now  from The Wild Rose Press   

www.reneeknowles.com

Pure Desire…How bad do you want it?

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

Back in February we had the amazing Roxanne St. Claire guest on this blog. Rocki wrote a very inspiring post, but one thing she said stood out. She was talking about a tape she listened to in the early days of her writing and made this comment about romance writing:

How badly do you want it, asks sweet little diabolical goal-setting bestselling goddess Debbie Macomber on her tape.  Bad, I answered her.  I want it so darn bad.

Rocki inspired me to no end. How badly do I want it? How much does my very skin tingle when I get to the keyboard and start to type? How badly do I yearn for it, think about it, desire it? So bad that without fiction writing in my life, I would feel completely empty. My heart would be void, and I wouldn’t know who I was anymore.

I know this for a fact as I stopped writing fiction for over a year after my father died. He had been my hero my whole life. The best man I’d ever known and the man I used as a measure to size all other men up to. I was sure my very soul died with him. How could a soulless, empty shell of a person write about love and passion? I had lived with my father’s cancer, chemo treatments, health ups and downs, bone marrow transplant, pain, and eventual complete deterioration for 2 and a half years. I was sure all the passion was drained out of me.

Write about desire, about longing and the intense grip of the first flush of love? Impossible. All that consumed me was grief.

I even told my husband that I wasn’t going to write fiction ever, ever again.

I convinced myself I didn’t need it. I was doing fine without it. I’d even stopped reading fiction. Non-fiction. Reality. It was all I needed, all I wanted, or so I told myself.

Then one day I happened into a Barnes and Noble while on vacation. There it was on the front display case—the new Julia Quinn book. My heart fluttered. I shrugged. Look away. Fiction isn’t for you. For God’s sake, head to the biography section, Renee. You don’t need that book.

But it was calling to me. Keep walking, I implored myself silently. But just like a new forbidden infatuation that you’re trying to convince yourself you don’t like, I found myself dancing around it, coming back toward it, and staring at it.

Taking a deep breath, I picked up the book—and I knew. I’d broken my vow. I DID need fiction in my life. I did need that escape, that alternative reality, and for romance, that happily-ever-after.

I began to write again. The passion simmered through me. I was alive. And somewhere up above my dad was smiling down on me.

How bad do I want it? Echoing Rocki: I want it SO DARN BAD. Bad enough to live through a dry spell and find my pure desire on the other side. Bad enough to know this is a part of who I am.

How about you? How bad do you want it?

Renee Knowles

SAVVY BUSINESS SKILLS FOR WRITERS
Available Now from Wild Child Publishing

COURTING TROUBLE–Nominated for Best Novella of 2008 by LASR!
Available Now  from The Wild Rose Press�

www.reneeknowles.com

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