Layout Image
Layout Image

Archive for memory

A Mama Writer Conversation from Special Guest Janet Mullany

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

smjHi, thanks for having me here! I’m Janet Mullany and I write funny historical romance for Little Black Dress (UK). My latest, A Most Lamentable Comedy, doesn’t have US distribution but you can buy it from bookdepository.com which offers free shipping worldwide, and find out more about me at my website www.janetmullany.com.

 

When I was first invited to mamawriters.com, my first reaction was that I’m not really a writing mother, since my daughter is grown up and I started writing when she was a teenager. I have the greatest admiration for writers who have small children—I certainly couldn’t have done it. In fact I credit menopause with the urge to write (another way of reproducing, perish the thought?). But I thought I’d ask my daughter Alison about what it was like as the daughter of a writer, so we got on a chat together and here’s the result.

 

Janet: I think I started writing when you were about 15 or 16. How did that change things at home? Burned dinners? Benign neglect?

 

Alison: Oh, benign neglect, to be sure. More than usual. I don’t really remember much about it. You started off in short stories, I know, and you were so excited when you got stories accepted. I think I brought in one of the journals that had a story in it in to school to show off to my friends. And you started going to writers groups in the Border’s cafe. That was good times, really–it gave me an excuse to go chill out and read books for free. I don’t remember any great upsets in household life, though.

 

Janet: I remember quite a few burnt dinners.

 

Alison: None stick out in my memory, at least not in the beginning. Obviously they weren’t much more burnt that usual–no, the really spectacularly charred ones started when you started writing actual books. I did get quite cross, though, when you started writing romance–I used to have to go rescue meals  alison1

 

Janet: So short stories = fewer culinary disasters. Make a note of that, kids. Better living through short fiction.

 

Alison: Quite! Something they don’t tell you in critique groups, I think.

 

Janet: But you learned how to cook. Or at least how to not burn.

 

Alison: I got very good at catching things RIGHT before they caught on fire.

 

Janet: If it’s brown it’s cooking, if it’s black it’s done.

 

Alison: YOU KEEP SAYING THAT BUT IT IS NOT AT ALL TRUE. Although the one time the stove caught fire, that was all me. I don’t think it was something you forgot about. Although you could have been the one who forgot to clean out the broiler.

 

Janet: It’s such an easy thing to forget. Let’s talk about books. Which of mine have you read?

 

Alison: I’ve only read the one: The Rules of Gentility, which was excellent good times.

 

Janet: But you’ve pimped them all to others for which I’m very grateful, even if the S. E. X. business in them scares you off.

 

Alison: It really does.

 

Janet: What’s your friends’ reaction when you tell them your mother writes romance?

 

Alison: It’s not much of an issue, really. Mostly, their responses are in the lines of “oh, cool, okay,” and then I explain what kinds you write. I try to hedge around the “and she also writes porn!” parts. Sorry, “finely crafted erotica,” not porn.

 

Janet : As in, yo mama writes porn.

 

Alison: Yes. Yes she does. And she keeps bringing it up.

 

comedy1Janet: Excuse me, YOU brought it up this time.

 

Alison: You started it.

 

Janet: Let’s move on. You’ve always read a lot (we lived without TV for a time and fortunately lived near a library) and we’ve read books together and now we exchange books which I think is really cool. What do you read now? What are the two last great books you read?

 

Alison: Ooooooooh, difficult. I’m reading Great Expectations right now–I somehow managed to get through all my years of schooling without having read any Dickens, so my roommate shamed me into rectifying that situation; it’s AMAZING, oh man. And I just finished re-reading The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon.

 

Janet: I couldn’t get into Chabon but I love Great Expectations too.

 

Alison: No Chabon? Weirdo.

 

Janet: It’s a generational thing, I think. Any fave romance writers?

 

Alison: Oh, yes. I love Jennifer Crusie–Bet Me is one of my all-time favourite books. I like your friend Pam Rosenthal’s books; The Edge of Impropriety is amazing, I keep meaning to re-read it. I’m also a fan of Dierdre Martin’s hockey-player romance series.  I picked up a copy of Fair Play at a Walmart as kind of a joke, but really enjoyed it.

 

Janet: I like Deirdre Martin too (in fact you were the one who recommended her books to me), and I’m really indifferent to sports. Odd.

 

Alison: Me too. But the characters were good, and it was a nice change from the usual type of hero.

 

Janet: Any advice for the writing moms out there from the offsprings’ point of view?

 

Alison: Advice? None off the top of my head. I mostly tried to stay out of your way when you were writing.

  

Janet: Maybe I should ask you for advice for the children of writing moms.

 

Alison: Make sure the smoke detector has batteries in it? But seriously, I don’t know–to be honest, I’ve never given much thought to “how to manage” with your career. Because it is a career. And sometimes I was a bit annoyed at how it ate up “home” time. But that’s life and it makes you happy (most of the time). Besides, when you’re locked in your office, it means I can bring in the booze and hookers

 

Janet: And that’s why you had to leave home.

 

Alison: Yeah, once the pimps found out where we lived, it got a little hot….

 

Janet: Were those male or female hookers?

 

Alison: ………. (Why does it have to be an either/or?) But we digress. Anyway. Maybe it’s because you’ve always worked–both in AND out of the house–and so it didn’t seem so weird that you were suddenly working on novels.

 

Janet: I agree. And it all comes back to my parenting philosophy of benign neglect. Or benign neglect and much reading material to hand.

 

Thanks for having us visit, mamawriters!

 

Bio: Janet Mullany was raised in England by half of an amateur string quartet and now lives near Washington, DC. Persecuted from an early age for reading too long in the bathroom, she still loves books and is an avid and eclectic reader. She has worked as an archaeologist, classical music radio announcer, arts administrator, and for a small press. Visit her website at http://www.janetmullany.com.

Time for some “R & R”…

Monday, April 20th, 2009

“Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.”
~ Lorraine Hansberry


American Playwright, A Raisin in the Sun

 

“Making time for rest is an investment in your future,

in your brain, in your creativity, in your stamina,

and in your success.

~ Hank Phillippi Ryan

in The 101 Habits of Highly Successful Novelists by Andrew McAleer

 

 

Happy Monday!

 

Today, I’m continuing my “Just B.R.E.A.T.H.E” series…

 

A quick review: We are creating a strong physical foundation for our participation in the all-uphill marathon of writing. (Isn’t that what being an author sometimes feels like?) Our chosen event is full of obstacles (less then stellar contest results, editor and agent rejections, characters who simply refuse to talk to us, hours sitting in front of the computer) and fierce competition.

 

Would you jump into a marathon without any training? Heck no! You’d do everything possible to prepare, to be the best you could be and to triumph over obstacles and the competition. So, slap on those sweats, tennis shoes and headband…here we go!

 

Today it’s all about the “R”: Rest and Relaxation…

 

For our purposes, the term rest refers to times when we are taking it easy or “not doing” and times when we are actually sleeping. And they’re both important for successful completion of our writing marathon!

 

1162251_bulldog_francesSLEEP

 

We’ve all done it – pulled an extra late night or early morning to get some writing done amidst mountains of laundry, deadlines at our “day job”, carpooling, kids’ events, grocery shopping, housecleaning, cooking dinner, cracking the whip during homework time…

 

But before you nix your time in the Land of Nod, think about this: sleep provides physical and mental support for your writing. Shakespeare called sleep “nature’s soft nurse” in reference to its restorative functions. While you’re snoozing your body is busy recovering from the day by fixing microscopic injuries to muscles, skin and bones as well as boosting your immune system so that you can fight off illness (keeping you at the computer where you belong instead of sick in bed). Mentally, sleep facilitates much needed time away, allowing your ideas to “marinate”. According to Mark Jung-Beeman, a psychologist at Northwestern University, “Sleep makes a unique contribution” to our ability to incubate and form ideas. “When you think you’re not thinking about something, you probably are,” he says. (To read more click here.)

 

Snagging a short nap during the day can also be good for your writing. Dr. Sara Mednick, author of Take A Nap! Change Your Life, says that the right nap at the right time “increases alertness, boosts creativity, reduces stress, improves perception, stamina, motor skills, and accuracy…”

 28proto_xlarge1

An interesting tidbit: Google installed futuristic loooking recliners with noise and light blocking hoods called EnergyPods so their employees can nap then return to work refreshed and more productive.

 

So, the next time you want to skip out on some zzz’s, think about how sleep might be contributing to your written masterpiece!

 

 

 

605471_jamaican_beach_hammockREST & RELAXATION

 

In his book Healthy Aging, Dr. Andrew Weil says, “The essence of rest is not doing – that is, being passive on both the physical and mental levels.” Rest makes us better writers in much the same way as sleeping. It refreshes our bodies and recharges our minds.

 

Rest is simple but it’s, by no means, easy. We are so programmed to use every spare moment, multi-tasking and mentally checking off our never-ending to-do’s as we race through the day.

 

Try to find fifteen or twenty minutes today for rest, enjoying the fresh air and sunshine, swinging in a hammock, soaking in a bubblebath…whatever facilitates being passive, doing nothing for you.

 

Or use that twenty minutes for relaxation. When we consciously relax, we are purposely acting on our nervous system, engaging the “rest and digest” branch (also called the parasympathetic nervous system). When this part of our nervous system is in charge, our heart rate and breathing slow and our blood pressure drops as do the amount of stress inducing hormones and neurotransmitters in our brain and blood stream. The tension in our muscles melts away and our blood flow improves. Like when we are sleeping, our body and mind restores itself. After a relaxation recess, our concentration increases and we have more energy.

 

Deep breathing is one effective relaxation technique. You can read more here.

You can also try progressive relaxation: start at your feet (or your head, whichever you prefer), tense then relax that part of your body. I like to visualize each part of my body detaching and floating away after I tense it. But you can also imagine it heavy and leaden too. Now move on to the next part of your body and the next and the next, until you’re one limp noodle. Stay there for a few minutes and yes, you guessed it, breathe.

 

Another relaxation technique is visualization. Mentally transport yourself to a warm and sunny beach or a hidden, verdant oasis – any destination that conjures up sighs of blissful repose will get the job done. You can enhance the experience by playing a nature sounds CD.

 

Yoga, Tai Chi, listening to relaxing music, and, my personal favorite, getting a massage are other effective techniques for relaxation.

 

I hope you can find a few minutes today to strengthen your writing’s physical foundation by resting or relaxing! Hey, you might surprise yourself and get more done than usual.

 

What’s your favorite way to rest and/or relax? Does it improve your writing? Life in general?

Comments Comments Off

Mama Memory

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

How perfect is it that the subject I planned for my next blog is about memory…or lack of it in my case?

I have a classic case of Mama Memory, a nasty little….um….condition I picked up with the flood of hormones during my first pregnancy. Oh, it improved after my son was born but by the time my third son was born, it seemed to have become a permanent part of my every day life.

I notice it in the little things.

Little things like making sure my calendar is updated with the latest schedule for this blog. Have to remember to get my post up the night before. No problem. I have until March 2…and then I’m up again on March 24. I’m on top of things. I checked the schedule.

Only the schedule is for the month of February, not March. *sigh*

Little things like picking up a pair of dirty socks in the bathroom and heading for the laundry room…only to stop in the living room to open the blinds where I notice the plants really, really need water. I head off to the kitchen for the watering can, but before I get there my son comes in to ask for more toothpaste. Naturally, no matter how well I describe where it is, he can’t find it so I’m back in the bathroom, digging through the cabinet to find it for him. Wasn’t I on my way to the kitchen? I head back out and stop at the coffee pot, noticing a carton of milk sitting on the counter. After I put it in the fridge, I remember that I came in here to do something….what was it? Must not be important. And why am I holding one dirty sock????

So here I stand, hours late with a room full of thirsty plants and an unexplained dirty sock in my hands…

I do it all the time.

I could blame it on hormones….or maybe even some horrible degenerative brain disease. But I know the real cause…trying to do too many things without really concentrating on any of them, like living on automatic pilot. There’s a constantly shifting TO DO list flitting through my mind, like some big smudged, easily erasable mental chalkboard. I keep adding to it without really paying attention to what I’m writing there.

And I certainly never seem to get to line through anything!

So what works for you guys? What are your tips and tricks for coping with Mama Memory…getting through your days and actually getting things done?

I’m totally open for suggestions…I only hope I can remember them!!!

~ Melissa

Comments Comments Off
Layout Image