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Archive for MamaHood

Our Last Special Guest- Loucinda McGary!

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

MamaWriters are thrilled to have Loucinda McGary here as our last (for now) special guest!

Her second book, The Wild Irish Sea, releases next week from Sourcebooks, and look – there’s an Irish hero!  :-)

Please help us welcome Loucinda McGary.

My Mom Writes “Those” Kind of Books

My son was still a toddler when I made my first attempt at writing a novel. Lucky for me, he was always very good about sleeping through the night, so my earliest attempts at fiction writing happened after I put him down for the night. I’d rush into my bedroom and write until my husband (who worked swing shift at the time) arrived home shortly after midnight.

Alas, that early tome was destined to sleep forever with the dust bunnies under the bed, but I continued to write in fits and starts all though my son’s early years. He never really knew anything else and accepted that his mom ‘wrote stories’ as a simple fact of life. Then, when he was in high school I made my first attempt at writing a romance novel (it too lives with the dust bunnies and for good reason). By now, I was a divorced single mom with a less than stellar dating life, so my son thought it inexplicably weird that I would want to write about romance. But he shrugged it off, and like most teens, totally ignored me and my interests in anything.

When I finally sold my first novel, he was happy. But I think that was mainly because he’d seen all the frustrations and anger and tears I’d gone through with all the rejections that preceded the sale. My son has never read much fiction (he doesn’t really like chocolate either – GO FIGURE!), so he never asked to read any of my work, and that was fine with me. I did name a very minor character after him in my first published novel, The Wild Sight, and he did read the couple of pages on which that character appeared. He was actually pleased with his namesake character and pronounced the whole thing “cool.” But that’s as much of any of my books as he has ever read, which is probably just as well.

There are some things you just do not want to know or even think about when it comes to your parent, and sex is definitely at the top of this list! Of course my son knows there are sex scenes in my books, and he is not above giving me a bit of razzing over the bare chested men on my covers. But he does not want to read a sex scene knowing that his mother wrote it, and quite honestly, I don’t want him too. Can you say, “Awkward?” Or as he used to tell me when he was a teen, TMI (too much information)!

Recently my son decided to go back to college (my fingers are XXed this will help him find a J-O-B!), and is working toward a certificate in a field dominated by women. Most of his classmates are women as are his teachers, and yes, I know he considered this when he chose this course of study.

A couple of weeks ago, I joined three of my romance author friends in a book signing event at a local winery. The winery was actually about an hour’s drive from my house, so I asked my son if he would go with me, help me set up, and drive me home. And yes, I’m sure he considered the free wine tasting when he agreed. However, I was surprised on the drive over when he told me he had told one of his teachers and several of his classmates about the event. As I listened, he related how he told his teacher, “I’m helping my mom with a book signing this weekend.” He continued, “She asked, ‘Your mom wrote a book?’ and I told her you’d written several. Then she asked me what kind of books you write and I told her romantic suspense.” As I sat in stunned silence, he said, “I told her I’d bring her one of your book marks. Is that okay?”

It was all I could do not to shout and hug him! Instead, I controlled my exuberance and said, “Sure, and tell her I’ll gladly autograph a book for her.” Then, I very timidly asked, “She does realize I write ‘those’ kind of romance novels, doesn’t she?” He grinned and said, “Oh, I told her, and she can’t wait to read one.” He sounded as proud of me as I felt about him!

I shared my story for all you mom’s of young children who are trying to write and have a publishing career. Don’t worry that what you write might have a negative affect on your little ones. Some day, they will grow up, and the fact that they saw you working hard to achieve goals that were important to you will only be positive. It may take awhile, but trust me, someday they will be proud of you!

I’m giving away an autographed copy of my newest release, The Wild Irish Sea to one lucky commenter. Feel free to ask me questions about it!

What I’ve Learned

Monday, June 28th, 2010

MamaWriters is coming to an end—for now. This is my very last post here and, as in life, if something I love ends—like a relaxing vacation that ends too quickly, a good friend who moves out of state or a brilliant book that leaves me wanting more—I try to look on the positive side, savor the memories, and remember all that I’ve gained from the experience. All that I’ve learned.

You might be wondering what the heck I could’ve learned from a blog written by a bunch of moms who just happen to be tackling one of the most difficult and challenging careers on the planet. From home!

Well, lemme just tell ya:

-Take care of yourself. You’ve earned it.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/09/put-on-your-mask-and-take-a-deep-breath/

-Sex is not a dirty word. http://mamawriters.com/2009/04/what-is-s-e-x/

-Mamahood is unpredictable but rewarding.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/mama-drama/

-Love comes from the most unexpected places. http://mamawriters.com/2010/02/my-valentine/

-Children follow our lead. http://mamawriters.com/2009/03/what-do-we-teach-our-kids-when-we/

-Feeling guilty? You’re not alone. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/guilt-mothers-hold-the-market/

-Treasure the milestones. http://mamawriters.com/2010/05/milestones/

-Help! We can’t do it all. http://mamawriters.com/2010/02/when-you-are-the-one-who-does-it-all/

-We most certainly can do it all. http://mamawriters.com/2009/10/finding-time-making-time/

-Sometimes humor is the best way to go. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/no-problem-a-day-in-the-life-of-a-mama-writer/

-Life is messy but oh-so good. http://mamawriters.com/2010/06/endings-and-beginnings-the-call-and-last-post-on-mamawriters/

-Our voices are unique. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/finding-your-voice/

-To plot or to pants it? Every writer is different.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/08/plotters-vs-pantsers/

-Enjoy being a mom. The moments are priceless. http://mamawriters.com/2010/04/im-now-that-kind-of-mom/

Yep, I’m savoring these lessons and SO many more. What did you learn from the MamaWriters? Any favorite posts?

Viola Estrella – A proud mama and romance writer

www.violaestrella.com

Endings and Beginnings-’The Call’ And Last Post on MamaWriters

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Well, ladies, not sure if you’ve heard, but MamaWriters is shutting down, so this is my last MamaWriters post.

It’s a bittersweet time.  My second book, The Irish Warrior, just released June 1.  I love this story, so it’s very exciting, and . . . it’s another threshold.

This whole period in my life feels pregnant with loss and with possibilities, tying together the start of the life of a new book, the end of the story I’m working on (and turning in to my new editor at Pocket very soon!), the beginning of another story,  and the end of MamaWriters.  Oh, and the end of the school year.  Wow.

I’ll be uploading a few of our fabulous guests through the rest of this month, but this is my last post.  The blog will stay live, so you can access the Community Features, and we reserve the right to start back up in some new incarnation  in the future, so keep us on your Twitter feed and be prepared!

It seemed like a good time to go back and think about when I got The Call, which was only two years ago.  And yet it seems like so much longer.   My ‘Call’ story is tied in to being a mom to a young child, and to  love, and it seemed appropriate to end with something that feels so much like a beginning.

How often is that they way, with writing and with parenting?  An end is a new beginning, and we have to constant flex and change so our children can thrive, so our stories can thrive, and so we can thrive, as moms and wives and workers and women.

The Call: From Pink Eye To Published

Okay, so it wasn’t *my* pink eye.  It was my not-very-happy little boy’s.  But I was sitting there, forcibly–I mean, lovingly–holding a warm compress to his very, very pink eye, when my agent called with the news that I had been offered a 2 book contract with Kensington Publishing.

I was excited, of course.  Deliriously so.  I was also wondering if I was spreading pink eye germs onto the phone.

I was, of course.

So, while my agent talked, and I ooh-ed and okay-ed, I also wiped lavender-based cleaner all over the phone receiver with one hand, while holding the warm, loving compress to my child’s eye with the other, phone nestled–lovingly, of course–between my cramping shoulder and cheek.

You know the pose.   The accoutrements may vary, but the pose is the same–the twisted torso of love.

You know it.  You’ve done it a thousand times.  You’re a woman.

And why do we do this?  Well, aside from the Awesome Paycheck we receive as mothers, it’s because of LOVE.

Which, funnily enough, is also what our novels are about. And I think this is one of the reasons the genre is disdained in the publishing world.

Yes,  genre fiction gets disdained in general to some degree or another, but I’m not sure that romance doesn’t take the hardest hit of all.  (Perhaps I only say that because I write romance, and so I feel those hits more powerfully, because I take them more directly.)

But I maintain that this focus on love is part of the reason it’s disdained.

I think people are scared. Perhaps taken aback by love being so in-your-face as it in our novels.  Embarrassed by the notion that someone would face it so openly, would focus on it so directly.  We just don’t do that in our culture: much too messy.  We’re allowed to work hard, and harder yet.  We’re encouraged to buy things, and we’re praised for being busy.  But loving?  Hmmm… not sure I see that as often.

And yet, that’s what romances do–put LOVE right smack in the center of everything.  And it’s so darned . . . messy.

We’re all a little scared of that messiness.  Maybe, when we read a romance, we brush up against uncomfortable considerations of how we’ve ‘done’ love in our own lives.  The times we haven’t loved well enough, or deeply enough, or openly enough. The times we played it safe, held back, opened our arms *halfway,* not all the way.  And the shadowed regrets of what we might have lost.  Or gained.

And maybe, the best romance novels, maybe they help renew our motivation to do better next time.  Like when our loved ones get home from work.  Today.

In a romance novel, in the end, the protagonists metaphorically reach out and say ‘Yes‘ at some fundamental level.  They act, they move, they shake things up.   They face their fears, they make mistakes, they anger people, and they DO.  They LIVE.  They’re alive.  And in love. And they move toward it with their arms open.

I think that might be scary to some people.  I know it’s scary to me sometimes.

Now, you see how that relates to pink eye?  I thought so.

Feeling great respect and affection for all the MamaWriters out there.  Please find me on Twitter or Facebook, and here is my website,–drop me a line and say Hi sometime!  you don’t need to have a huge agenda: staying in touch is good enough.  And if we haven’t ‘met’ yet online…?  So what.  Write me anyhow.

Be good to those you love and above all, to yourself.

Kris Kennedy writes sexy, adventure-filled medieval romances for Kensington and Pocket Books. At her website, you can sign-up for the newsletter and drop Kris a line saying Hi! THE IRISH WARRIOR, winner of the 2008 Golden Heart® Award for Best Historical Romance, released June 1. Read a sexy excerpt here!

Special Guest- USA Today Bestseller Sally MacKenzie, ‘Naked’ series author

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

MamaWriters are completely thrilled to have Sally MacKenzie with us today. With a series of fabulously popular, fun Regencies, starting with The Naked Duke, Sally MacKenzie knows what it’s like to be a mom and a bestselling author. But not at the same time.

With some surprising lessons and wonderful insights, Sally talks with us about something we writers and mos don’t usually discuss: Maybe we can’t do it all, not at the same time.  And maybe that’s okay.

Please help us welcome Sally MacKenzie!

Hello to all the mama writers out there!  I have to like the blog’s motto: “Raising kids.  Writing romance.”   When Kris asked me to stop by, though, I wasn’t sure if she really wanted me. I told her I felt a bit of an imposter, but she said that was ok.

How am I an imposter? I am a wife and mother and I write romance, but I quit writing fiction for a number of years while I was raising my four sons.

Yep, I quit. Not right away.  At first I wrote while the baby of the year was napping or played nearby.  I bought a thick pad to muffle the sound of the typewriter.  (I shudder to admit that was pre-personal computer days.)

I finally did get a PC–an IBM XT for what now would be an outrageous price–when son #2 arrived, and then I switched to writing picture book texts.  The shorter length seemed more manageable and, truthfully, picture books were my main reading material at the time. I sent many of those out to publishers and got some positive rejections.  I even went through revisions with one house, but ultimately they decided my story was too much like another book already published and passed on it.

And then the youngest reached his final year of pre-school.  I decided to put writing aside to enjoy my last baby until he went off to full day kindergarten

Eight years and many carpool miles later….

I got back to writing when my oldest son was heading off to college.  I decided it was time to either follow my dream or give it up. I’d always loved Georgette Heyer’s books, and I’d read many–probably hundreds–of regencies while I was doing the baby thing, so I thought I’d try my hand at writing one.  The stars aligned, and The Naked Duke debuted in February 2005.  I’ve been writing Naked every since.

Do I regret my decision to stop for a while?  Yes…and no.

If I’d kept writing, maybe my career would now rival Norah Roberts’.

Wait.  Let me take a moment to savor that thought.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’d have burned out. Maybe I’d never have published. Maybe I’d be divorced. Maybe my kids would be in jail.

Or maybe not.

I don’t know what would have happened if I’d made a different decision.  When I look back, I have to remind myself how busy I was with kid duties.   My husband worked virtually 24-7.  His salary allowed me to stay home, but his hours meant I was mostly a single mom.  I wanted my sons to be in scouts and sports, to take piano lessons, to have lots of opportunities and experiences–and some of those activities needed me to step in to keep them going.

Would I recommend quitting?  No, unless you can walk away with no regrets.  If you can truly give writing up–or at least writing for publication–I’d say do it.  Publishing is a crazy business with no guarantees and absolutely no job security.  But if you’re cursed to be a writer (and I have to say some days it does feel like a curse), you probably don’t have a choice. The need to write will nag at you and eat at you until you finally give in.

The Naked Duke-Spanish Edition

If for some reason you can’t put aside a little time regularly to write fiction, you can do other things to hone your skills and prepare for the time when you can carve out fiction-writing time.  I always looked for volunteer jobs that involved writing.  I edited school and community newsletters: I wrote swim league guidance and high school fundraising programs and even a couple kid plays.  And my other volunteer positions–Cubmaster, swim team organizer, PTA president–helped me develop skills I find useful in the non-writing side of my writing business.

There’s definitely a risk in stopping.  On more than one occasion I found myself thinking about Langston Hughes’ poem, “A Dream Deferred.” And the longer I went without writing, the more impossible the dream seemed.  (Though I have to confess I feel overwhelmed every single time I face a blank computer screen whether at the start of a new novel or even the start of a new day’s writing session.)

I’m in awe of all my friends who are meeting deadlines and raising kids.  But we are each different with different demands on our time and energy and mental space.  Balancing everything is an ongoing challenge that I still haven’t mastered. But then life is a journey, not a race, right?

Okay, here’s the promo part–you didn’t think I just stopped by for the heck of it, did you?  If you’re looking for an escape from all the balancing, my next Naked book, The Naked Viscount, is out June 1–and earlier in some places.

The heroine is Jane Parker-Roth whom I met when I wrote The Naked Gentleman.  She pretty much grabbed me by the ears and demanded her own story.  The hero, Lord Motton, is beset by aunties. The story was inspired by one of Thomas Rowlandson’s pornographic prints that I saw in Vic Gatrell’s City of Laughter and features Pan statues with prodigious penises.

Did I happen to mention my youngest son’s college application essay was all about how embarrassing it is to have a mother who writes these books?  I did feel for him.  The Naked Duke came out when he was a sophomore at an all male Jesuit high school and I’d just finished a term as Parents Club co-chair.  But hey, don’t we parents exist to embarrass our children?

Special Guest – Annette McCleave on ‘Single Authorhood’

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

MamaWriters are excited to have my friend and paranormal romance author Annette McCleave with us today!  Her second book, BOUND BY DARKNESS, has just released, and is garnering wonderful reviews. such as her 4 1/2 star Romantic Times review, which said, “An emotional read…full of suspense and danger…”

Please help us welcome Annette McCleave!

Single Authorhood

Being an author who is a single parent is both a blessing and a challenge. On one hand, working from home and having a flexible schedule means I can attend almost every band performance and school play.

On the other, it means when deadline time rolls around, my daughter is on her own for long stretches of time. Fortunately, my daughter is a young teen now and she can entertain herself. She’s also perfectly happy to eat take-out when mom doesn’t have time to cook.

Being a teen is hard. Between the raging hormones and the social issues, weathering the high school years can be tough. Finding your place in the world is overwhelming. But my decision to become an author has opened the door for a discussion with my teen that I wish my own parents had shared with me—the importance of holding on to your dreams.

I don’t know about you, but my parents lectured me repeatedly about getting a good job, being financially stable and setting goals that were achievable. Dreams never entered into the mix. But dreams sustain us—they are the underpinnings of hope.

My daughter has seen me give up a corporate career in favour of a less stable, lower-paying job, and she knows that chasing your dreams has a price. The flip side of that is she knows a well-paying job and a nice house don’t necessarily equate happiness. She’s also seen me work hard, persist, and eventually triumph. Dreams really can come true.

Because it’s just the two of us, she’s shared every part of the journey and the excitement.  Every time I release a new book, as I did last week, she’s right there with me, beaming at the cover on the shelf. She even invited me to speak to her class about being an author. Truth is, if the only lesson she learns from me is to never give up on her dreams, I’ll be one very happy single parent.

It’ll make up for all the guilt. :- )

My daughter’s favourite moms-on-deadline meal is Chinese food. Do you have a favorite emergency dinner in your family? What is it?
If you’re interested in learning more about the book I released last week, Bound by Darkness, stop by my website. I’m running a release contest until the end of May, so be sure to check out the details.

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