When we first adopted our son, I spent all my time and energy on him. And rightfully so. He needed me—and I needed him. We played, laughed, cried, were sick together, up all night together and we grew very attached. We found common ground, bonded and became a family. Suddenly I was a mommy. And I was thrilled to be so.
But sometime in the last several months I’ve begun to remember that I am a woman too. A woman who needs “me” time, friends of my own, an occasional splurge at the mall, and a rare café au lait that I can actually sip instead of chug because I have to tend to my little one.
And, yes, I need romance as well.
After all, I am a romance writer. It’s in my nature. I have a bit of a romantic spirit and believe love does make the world a better place.
So why do I feel guilty about all this? Why do I feel like I should be happy only being a mom? Do I have June Cleaver syndrome?
I almost feel like two people—Renee and Mommy. Though I encounter women everyday who seamlessly blend the two personas, I am still working through this. I notice my husband doesn’t seem to have this issue. Yet, my sister said to me the other day that she could not even bear to be away from her children when they were my son’s age for an hour. And many moms I know echo her sentiments.
While I miss my son when I am away from him, I find I enjoy that time too. It’s time to refill the well, have some adult conversation and explore my many interests. I come back to my son recharged, excited, more fulfilled and ready to be his mom again.
Does that make me a bad mommy? Will I ever lose the split personality? (Okay, as much as June-born Gemini girl can
How do you more experienced moms handle this?
COURTING TROUBLE–Nominated for Best Novella of 2008 by LASR!
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