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Archive for Writing and self-care

Hooking: It Ain’t Easy . . .

Friday, March 5th, 2010

. . . Hooking READERS, that is! (what did you think I meant?!) *wink wink*

The components of a romance novel are by no means static. Now days, heroes are more heroic and heroines are made of decidedly sterner stuff. Writing is more active and the love scenes are hot enough to singe a gal’s eyebrows.

Amdist all the evolution there is one factor that has remained the same . . . delivering up a hook strong enough to keep a reader coming back for more.

The question on every writer’s mind is: HOW?

During a recent trip to the grocery store (sans kids), I shimmied on over to the book rack to do a little “research”. The world was my oyster at this point! I didn’t have two kids squawking and squalling in a cart to rain on my parade.

I scanned the first pages of six Regency Historicals and was pleasantly surprised with the findings. Some relied on a clever situation to snare my attention while others used the “grab-ya-by-the *bleep*” kind of first line.

The one I bought? I couldn’t resist one of the intriguing first scenes. Although, I will say some of those hum-dinger lines were pretty hard to pass up! Easy to see why those gals get the big shopping money!

So, what’s the magic equation to writing a killer first line? Does such a thing exhist?

Maybe I’m not the one to answer that question. After all, I still believe there are little elves stuffed in a tree somewhere out making all those yummy chocolate covered cookies just for me! lol

I think if someone were to solve this age old riddle, they’d be ga-zillionaires. Bigger than Oprah. Seriously!

The bottom line is: Every writer should know what it is about their genre that appeals to the traget audience. The easiest way to do this is to read A LOT! Call it research, that’s what I do. Ha! If only learning about the Kreb’s Cycle and Glycolytic Pathways had been this fun!

Besides reading, a writer needs to make a diligent effort to spend the time with their booty planted in the chair! Learning craft is only half of the battle. Application is other.

The same principle applies to motherhood. Sure, I read every single pregnancy book in print, but no amount of research prepared me for a newborn who didn’t get the memo on how she was supposed to act. Confusing? Yes. Daunting? A little. Insurmountable? NO.

We’re moms! There isn’t much we can’t do. Shoot, just look at what a little “mommy-spit” on a Kleenex can do for a grubby face! After surviving motherhood, “hooking” can’t be all that hard! :)

What about you? What kind of “hooker” are you? Do you have any insight to share on how to snag a reader’s attention? Better yet, what snags your attention?

For more on Sarah Simas, check out her blog: The Lovestruck Novice and the get in on the round table discussion with her CP group: Friday Night Write

An Ode To Mama’s Boy

Friday, February 26th, 2010

 

img_0001Meet my little mama’s boy! Shoe-in for a cover model career, ain’t he?

I’m not at all embarrassed to say I’m wrapped around this little guy’s finger. The first time I held him in my arms I was lost. Talk about a beautiful baby, but then, I’m extremely biased! J

My first child was born in late 2005. Little did I know seventeen months later my daughter would get a brother. (obviously, I didn’t get the memo on what causes such things, huh? lol) When he was fifteen months old, I noticed my son wasn’t babbling like his sister had done. Two months later, an evaluation revealed his speech was delayed. A lot.

Ever heard of Apraxia? It’s a speech disorder that takes A LOT of speech therapy. Thanks to a year of intense therapy, meaning me driving him to as many as four sessions a week, my boy can say close to ten words. Some of the words he approximates with gestures and sign, but it’s a HUGE turn-around from last January.

One of the first hurdles he had to overcome was learning how to formulate words. Simple sounds like “Oh” and “Ah”. His upper lip was stiff, almost as if novacained. Lots of flutes, straws, and whistles later, he’s a champ at busting out those sounds with full lip curvature. Wah-hoo! (it got very loud at our house!)

When we open a door or a lid, it’s “Oop-en”. He wants to be picked up? It’s “Uh-pah”. My kitchen decor is now pictures of animals and objects to practice saying. Easy words we take for granted, but ones he has to work for. And it is work for him.

Yesterday, we took him to get tubes put in his ears. Two hours later, he was back to full steam AND attempting new words. We’d say a word and he’d repeat it! BIG CHANGE! Some of words he nailed with excellent clarity. With others, he managed to match the syllable breaks. AWESOME! I can’t wait to take him to speech today and see how he does. The results are that fast. The doctor told us the poor guy’s ears were clogged with mucus (even after finishing around of meds), but now he’ll have clear ears for 15 months!

I’m so completely happy! There are no words to define how good it is to see him make another leap.

It’s only been within the last month that he has perfected saying, “Mama”. I love, love hearing him say the word, because I know how hard he had to work to get to that point. Believe it our not, those “M’s” are a pretty high hill to climb. But, he succeeded.

The last year has been a roller coaster more suited for a beach boardwalk than real life, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve had to reach farther than I’ve ever had to reach before. Trying to juggle everything without throwing my hands in the air in defeat has been a true challenge. I’ve had to learn articulation, spontaneous retrieval, and diphthongs right along-side my boy. Much in the same way I’ve had to learn point of view, character arc, GMC, and all the other ‘good stuff’ about honing my craft. Both take time to understand and dedication to know how to apply correctly, but if he can do it, well, darn it, so can I!

Most of the time, I’m so frazzled I can’t remember what I did the day before! But I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My Kiddos

My Kiddos

When was the last time your “real life” taught you something about yourself?

For me? I learned I had way too much self-doubt and that stubbornness isn’t always a a vice! :)

 

To learn more about Sarah Simas, check out her blog: The Lovestruck Novice or her critique group’s blog: Friday Night Write.

Mommy’s Combat Boots Are Heavy – Writer and Soldier Jessica Scott

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

Today MamaWriters are incredibly pleased and proud to welcome romance writer, soldier, and mom Jessica Scott to the blog!

She’s recently back from serving in Iraq (where she actually worked on and submitted a manuscript–hel-LO).  She’s returning to her children, her husband (who also served–concurrent with her deployment) and all the trials of being a mom and a wife and a writer and a worker, with the added strain of restitching a family together again.

Let’s give a huge welcome to Jessica Scott!

Mommy’s Combat Boots are Heavy

jessie-scottFirst, I want to thank Kris Kennedy, not only for asking me to guest blog here today but also for having the courage to reach out and ask if I was okay. See her hubby works with military folks and she made it a point of reaching out and offering a shoulder if I needed one. So, Kris, a heartfelt thank you.

See Kris was right. Coming home from Iraq after not seeing my daughters for a year and finally wrapping my arms around them was just the beginning, not the end I thought it was.  It took me exactly three days for the food battles with my oldest to begin again. She refused to eat. Anything, other than peanut butter and jelly, scrambled eggs and cheese sticks. (There were a few other things but not many.) It took a week for the major tantrums to start.

And it took three weeks for me to reach the end of my rope. I can’t tell you how it feels to sit in a dark room and cry, wondering why I’d ever gone to Iraq, how I was going to be anything even close to resembling a good mom again or how I was even going to get through the next morning without one or both of the girls melting down. And I can’t describe the absolute guilt that I felt for even considering the thought that life was easier in Iraq.

But I buckled down and I asked for help and gradually, things have been getting better. My oldest is trying food, graduating from at least putting it in her mouth to swallowing 1 bite of everything. We’re making progress.

I’m making progress. I’ve found a new source of patience. I’ve stayed calmer and if I’m late for work, then I’m late for work.

The most difficult thing about being a soldier and a mommy is the constant war inside me. There shouldn’t be one. My kids should be and are my priority in life but I can’t help but feel like my duties are not being fulfilled as best they could if I was something other than who I am. But I’m not. I do the very best I can at my job as my company executive officer and my commander is amazing and understanding.

The hardest part about coming home from Iraq and resuming my mommy duties is the guilt that I have about needing time for myself. I don’t get it unless I’m up at 5 am, working out in my garage before the kids get up. Because once they’re up, I’m not off duty again until after 7 pm. There is no me time and I feel selfish and guilty that I even want it. I had a whole year of me time in Iraq (more or less). I shouldn’t need more and I damn sure shouldn’t want more. But I do. And I wrestle with that need.

But things are getting better. I find that keeping things simple makes all the difference in the world. So no matter how tired I am, I make lunch the night before. I have pancake mix in the fridge, ready to go for whatever the kids decide they want for breakfast.

And I sneak in writing whenever I can, which is usually on my lunch break sitting in my car on my laptop. We’re getting through and we’re finding what our new normal is. I’m learning what my normal is and I’m learning myself as mommy, XO, wife and writer all over again. I’m turning into someone else. I am not the same as I was before Iraq or during. I am changing and hopefully, learning and growing from my experiences, into a better mom, person and soldier.

If I can, a little shameless self promotion. I’m going to be part of the PBS POV blog Regarding War: Women on War. The link is http://www.pbs.org/pov/regardingwar/ and the Women on War segment should launch later this week. If you’re interested in some more of my thoughts on war and women, please feel free to stop by. The blog runs between now and April.

Thanks for having me here today! Tell me, what’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done? Or the toughest lesson you ever had to learn?

(P.S. From Kris: Jess’s website is: http://jessicascott.net/Welcome.html

She also runs Romance Roll Call, a military romance blog: http://romancerollcall.com/

And you can find her on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/JessicaScott09

This Is Sure To BOWL You Over!

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I’ve never been a big fan of sports on TV. I just can’t seem to stay focused. Of course, I do enjoy oogling  the linemen and their snug-fitting britches. Wowza! Definitely a diet friendly slab of beef-steak! J

As much as I like “taking in the sights” of the Super Bowl, I typically pay more attention to the commercials. Hey, we’re a “here we are now, entertain us!” kind of nation. Be it Cindy Crawford in cut-offs at a soda machine, mono-syllable frogs, or a granny asking for her beef, we tune in and expect to laugh, smile, and maybe cry.

How does this apply to writing?

I’m so glad you asked!

Using our superior imaginations, *POOF!* the super manly Super Bowl is now a romance novel! The Saints and the Colts are the main characters. (I’ll let your team preference decide who the H/H are. *winkwink*) GMC? Duh! T-D, we want a touch down!

Secondary characters? Why, the COMMERCIALS, of course!

Think about it. The battle of wills between the opposing teams is what draws us to the lazy boy, but it’s the commercials that keep us entertained and engrossed during the downtime. The Super Bowl would not THE SUPER BOWL without the commercials! It’s like bread and butter, baby! They just go together! 

Same goes for a novel. It’s the secondary characters that provide things like comic relief and additional tension to a story.

Take for example, Gone With The Wind. The tempestuous Miss O’Hara would have been completely irredeemable without the gentle guidance and influence of Melanie Wilks. Genuine and selfless, Melanie’s character was the antithesis of Scarlett. Ms. Mitchell knew what she was doing. How many times did the devilish Mr. Butler use Miss Melanie to taunt Scarlett? Too many to count and each time he did- chaos ensued. A perfect point of contention to wiggle between the two main characters . . . and Melanie didn’t have to do anything in particular. She just had to BE Melanie!

Or what about Pride and Prejudiced? Would Ms. Austen’s tale be as intriguing and as legendary without the conflict Mr. Wickham, Lydia Bennet, Caroline Bingly, and Lousia Hurst added? Where would the all the pride and prejudice have stemmed from?

For all the Kenyon fans out there, would the Dark Hunter books be as magical without the character of Acheron? He is in every DH book, but never as the “main character”- not until he gets his own leading man role, almost thirteen books into the series!

We need these secondary characters to act as both buffers and catalysts to round out the edges our larger-than-life heroes and heroines leave behind. For all the non-Super Bowl watchers who are stuck watching the game (like me!), the commercials make the experience. A football game is just a bunch of men whacking the crap out of each for want of a stuffed lemon-shaped ball, but with hilarious and dazzling 30second bits of relief, the day doesn’t seem so tedious. Just like a book can have a pair of unlikely lovers duking it out, but they need something or someone to either drive them apart or meld ‘em together.

The moral of this story? Even a football game can become a writing lesson! Imagine that!

So, tell me, what’s the oddest thing you’ve ever applied an element of writing to?

(ps- I owe a huge thank you to my mother-in-law for inspiring the concept of this post! :) )

 To learn more about Sarah- swing by: The Lovestruck Novice  and her critique group’s blog, Friday Night Write.

Be sure to click on over to The Lovestruck Novice Feb. 10th to scope out the new series called, A NOVICE TO WATCH. Be the first to know some rising stars! The novice in question just happened to be a fellow newbie whose entry kicked my rear in the Southern Heat contest last year.

 

 

Watching Them Grow: Our Children and Our Skills

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Nothing can stop him . . .         June, 2010

Nothing can stop him . . . June, 2010

A topic discussed by a visiting author yesterday on the Happy Endings blog of our fabulous webmistress and fellow MamaWriter Jeannie Ruesch, prompted me to think about this.

Occasionally I bore you all terribly by reflecting on opine about how being a mother and a writer are alike.  And somehow, I’d missed one of the most obvious, perhaps because it is so obvious: Growth.

Our kids grow and our writing grows. Or rather, our skillfulness as a writer increases (hopefully!)   Like watching our kids grow, though, it happens so gradually that often we barely notice it’s happening.

With our kids, we have ‘markers,’ moments where we pause, when we recognize and celebrate growth.

Our children get bigger, stronger, smarter, more loving and insightful, more capable and engaged in the world around them.  And we measure that with pencil marks on the wall, and ohh and ahh over the fact that it’s not two inches higher than it was before.  We have little rituals and thresholds to mark different kinds of growth, some very social and culturally-common, some specific to our own families.

We have graduations, whether it be kindergarten or college, and birthday celebrations.  We go through old clothes, shaking our heads and thinking, “I can’t even imagine him being that small.”  We tell our children stories that begin,  “I remember  when you were only. . . ” and end with “. . . And look at you now!”  We get out pictures and reminisce, out loud and in our minds.

In our house, each year, at birthday time, our child gets to pick out one new ‘privilege’ and one new ‘responsibility’ (chore) that he wants to have for the year.  A year older means a year more capable, which brings freedoms and responsibilities.  Of course, these morph over the year, and we change, remove and add as needed, but it’s the ‘marking’ that matters, the pause and acknowledgment that yes, you’ve grown, and we notice.

England, 1152: After seventeen years of civil war, things are about to change...

England, 1152: After seventeen years of civil war, things are about to change...and we notice.

We are growing too, though, as writers.  Maybe we should be marking that as well.   As we write, and become more skilled craftswomen, maybe we should be sure to mark the change.

And maybe we should nurture it, the way we nurture our children, so it can thrive.

How about you?  How do you celebrate growth in your families?  And do you ever mark your won growth as a writer?

Kris Kennedy writes sexy, adventure-filled medieval romances for Kensington and Pocket Books.  Her debut book,THE CONQUEROR, came out May ‘09.  Her second, THE IRISH WARRIOR, winner of the 2008 Golden Heart Award for Best Historical Romance, releases June ‘10.  She loves hearing from readers–stop by her website, sign up for her newsletter, and say Hi!

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