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Archive for Teaching Your Children

Our Last Special Guest- Loucinda McGary!

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

MamaWriters are thrilled to have Loucinda McGary here as our last (for now) special guest!

Her second book, The Wild Irish Sea, releases next week from Sourcebooks, and look – there’s an Irish hero!  :-)

Please help us welcome Loucinda McGary.

My Mom Writes “Those” Kind of Books

My son was still a toddler when I made my first attempt at writing a novel. Lucky for me, he was always very good about sleeping through the night, so my earliest attempts at fiction writing happened after I put him down for the night. I’d rush into my bedroom and write until my husband (who worked swing shift at the time) arrived home shortly after midnight.

Alas, that early tome was destined to sleep forever with the dust bunnies under the bed, but I continued to write in fits and starts all though my son’s early years. He never really knew anything else and accepted that his mom ‘wrote stories’ as a simple fact of life. Then, when he was in high school I made my first attempt at writing a romance novel (it too lives with the dust bunnies and for good reason). By now, I was a divorced single mom with a less than stellar dating life, so my son thought it inexplicably weird that I would want to write about romance. But he shrugged it off, and like most teens, totally ignored me and my interests in anything.

When I finally sold my first novel, he was happy. But I think that was mainly because he’d seen all the frustrations and anger and tears I’d gone through with all the rejections that preceded the sale. My son has never read much fiction (he doesn’t really like chocolate either – GO FIGURE!), so he never asked to read any of my work, and that was fine with me. I did name a very minor character after him in my first published novel, The Wild Sight, and he did read the couple of pages on which that character appeared. He was actually pleased with his namesake character and pronounced the whole thing “cool.” But that’s as much of any of my books as he has ever read, which is probably just as well.

There are some things you just do not want to know or even think about when it comes to your parent, and sex is definitely at the top of this list! Of course my son knows there are sex scenes in my books, and he is not above giving me a bit of razzing over the bare chested men on my covers. But he does not want to read a sex scene knowing that his mother wrote it, and quite honestly, I don’t want him too. Can you say, “Awkward?” Or as he used to tell me when he was a teen, TMI (too much information)!

Recently my son decided to go back to college (my fingers are XXed this will help him find a J-O-B!), and is working toward a certificate in a field dominated by women. Most of his classmates are women as are his teachers, and yes, I know he considered this when he chose this course of study.

A couple of weeks ago, I joined three of my romance author friends in a book signing event at a local winery. The winery was actually about an hour’s drive from my house, so I asked my son if he would go with me, help me set up, and drive me home. And yes, I’m sure he considered the free wine tasting when he agreed. However, I was surprised on the drive over when he told me he had told one of his teachers and several of his classmates about the event. As I listened, he related how he told his teacher, “I’m helping my mom with a book signing this weekend.” He continued, “She asked, ‘Your mom wrote a book?’ and I told her you’d written several. Then she asked me what kind of books you write and I told her romantic suspense.” As I sat in stunned silence, he said, “I told her I’d bring her one of your book marks. Is that okay?”

It was all I could do not to shout and hug him! Instead, I controlled my exuberance and said, “Sure, and tell her I’ll gladly autograph a book for her.” Then, I very timidly asked, “She does realize I write ‘those’ kind of romance novels, doesn’t she?” He grinned and said, “Oh, I told her, and she can’t wait to read one.” He sounded as proud of me as I felt about him!

I shared my story for all you mom’s of young children who are trying to write and have a publishing career. Don’t worry that what you write might have a negative affect on your little ones. Some day, they will grow up, and the fact that they saw you working hard to achieve goals that were important to you will only be positive. It may take awhile, but trust me, someday they will be proud of you!

I’m giving away an autographed copy of my newest release, The Wild Irish Sea to one lucky commenter. Feel free to ask me questions about it!

Special Guest Author Marie Force on Working From Home

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Today I am excited to introduce you all to a fabulous mama writer, Marie Force.  Marie currently writes for both Sourcebooks and Carina Press, while working full time from home and taking care of her two children. 

What I Did For Work…

By: Marie Force

 

Long before I ever touched pen to paper to write fiction, I worked full-time from home. In fact, I still work full-time from home 12 years after beginning what, at the time, was a grand experiment. In 1998 I was the only person I knew who worked as a telecommuter to an out-of-state company. Today, the trend is much more common but no less challenging. 

Here is the short story of how I ended up a telecommuter: Nearly 15 years ago, I returned to the United States with my husband, who was in the Navy, after living in Spain for three years. We brought home a three-month-old daughter and two dogs who’d joined the family in Spain. Relocating to the Washington, D.C. area for a three-year tour, I immediately began looking for a job. A month or so later, I was hired as the communications director by an Alexandria, VA-based national organization that today has 15,000 members. The only downside was my hellishly long commute—50 to 90 minutes each way, depending on the time of day. The only reason I could bear this horrible commute was because I knew that in three years my husband was due to move again.

Those three years passed in a blur. We added a son to the family a month before we were due to move to Jacksonville, FL. As I was packing up my office, my boss wandered into have a chat. What if, he said, you stayed on remotely? How could this possibly work? I wondered. But the more we talked about it, the more feasible it became, and we agreed to give it a whirl. So I moved to Jacksonville with a three-year-old who had spent all her days with daddy (who worked the night shift while we were in Maryland), a one-month-old who didn’t sleep through the night until he was 18 months old, two dogs, AND a full-time job at home. And did I mention that my husband was moving from an office job to an aircraft carrier? And did I mention that the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy was in a particularly strenuous deployment cycle during the three years he was stationed on board? Is it any wonder I call the Jacksonville years the “Calgon Take Me Away” portion of my life as a mother. To be honest, I barely remember the four years we lived there. It’s all a blur.

One spring, as my company prepared for its annual meeting, I was desperate to get in some hours in the office. I hired the neighborhood girl who often babysat for my kids and closed the door to my office. Well, that didn’t work at all. The kids knew I was in there and were literally clawing at the door crying for mommy. A week later, I hired her again only this time I’d gotten smart about it. I said, “Bye, guys! Mommy will be back in a little while. Have fun with Corrine.” Bye, bye they said, and all was well as I walked out my front door, around to the back of my house, and crawled into the office window I’d opened earlier. Success! Three hours later, I called the house from my office phone and asked Corrine to take them outside for a bit so I could take a potty break and grab a snack. That bought me a few more hours. We live, and we learn. As a work-at-home mother who relied very little on daycare, I can tell you down to the day how long it took me to get two kids into school full time: 10 years, 1 month and 23 days. That’s a long time to juggle kids and work!

Today, my kids are nearly 15 and 12. They have never known any other existence than a mom who works full time from home. Because I wasn’t already busy enough, I’ve added a book-writing gig to my docket, which has gotten quite busy since my first book, LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, was published in 2008. I think the greatest legacy of being a work-at-home mom is that it has made my kids very self-sufficient. They get their own snacks, they make their own fun, they know better than to interrupt a phone call for anything less than blood, and they get to see their mom working hard to provide a nice life for them. The downside is that something else, at least during the work hours, often has to take priority over them. Sure, their dad works all day, too, but they don’t see that. They know it, intellectually, but they don’t have to compete against it for his attention.

In the final analysis, I hope they’ll remember that I was here to greet them after school every day and to run them around in the afternoons to various activities. Now that my daughter is in high school, located two doors up the street from our house, I think she wishes I were a little less available after school. However, I’ve come to realize that being home with them now is far more critical than it was when they were babies and I was forced to crawl through windows to get some work time.

I’ll give one copy of FATAL AFFAIR to the best “desperate to work” story. Thanks for having me today.  I look forward to visiting with you!

I should mention that my next book, FATAL AFFAIR, a romantic suspense, will be out June 21 from Carina Press. Here’s some info about the book:

 On the morning of the most important vote of Senator John O’Connor’s career he is late—again. His best friend and chief of staff, Nick Cappuano sets off to O’Connor’s apartment expecting to roust him from bed and hoping he is alone. But what Nick finds is that O’Connor, the handsome, amiable Senator from Virginia, has been brutally murdered, and Nick’s world comes crashing down around him. Complicating the disaster, the detective assigned to the case is none other than Sam Holland, Nick’s one-night stand from six years earlier, the woman who broke his heart and haunts his dreams. With six years worth of unfinished business hanging between them and more than a few scores to settle personally and professionally, Nick and Sam set out to find the senator’s killer while trying—and failing—to resist the overwhelming attraction between them that seems to have only grown over the years.

 

It soon becomes clear that the senator’s past holds secrets that not only led to his death but now endanger Nick and Sam as well. Working together to find a killer and to rediscover the love they thought they lost long ago, they must put the past behind them and build a future that offers a world of new opportunities for both of them—including an offer from the Virginia Democrats for Nick to finish the last year of John’s term.

About Marie:

Marie Force’s first romantic suspense, FATAL AFFAIR, will be out June 21, 2010 from Carina Press. Book 2 in the Fatal Series, FATAL JUSTICE, is coming soon from Carina. She is also the author of LINE OF SCRIMMAGE and LOVE AT FIRST FLIGHT. Of LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, Booklist said, “With its humor and endearing characters, Force’s charming novel will appeal to a broad spectrum of readers, reaching far beyond sports fans.” Wild on Books said, “LOVE AT FIRST FLIGHT by Marie Force is most definitely a keeper. It is an astounding book. I loved every single word!” A third contemporary, EVERYBODY LOVES A HERO, is due out Feb. 1, 2011. Since 1996, Marie has been the communications director for a national organization similar to the Romance Writers of America. She is a member of RWA’s New England, From the Heart and Published Author Special Interest Chapters. While her husband was in the Navy, Marie lived in Spain, Maryland and Florida, and is now settled in her home state of Rhode Island. She is the mother of two children and a feisty dog named Brandy. Find her at www.mariesullivanforce.com, on her blog at http://mariesullivanforce.blogspot.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Marie-Force/248130827909 and on Twitter at twitter.com/MarieForce. Marie loves to hear from readers. Contact her at marie@marieforce.com.

 

What Kids Really See On Your TV…

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Hello…again!  Yes, I did the schedule for MamaWriters this month and for some as-of-yet unrevealed reason, I scheduled myself with back to back dates.   So you’re stuck with me again. :)

I’m writing this at the very end of the day, after spending a wonderfully enjoyable afternoon with my family.  My sister in law brought her littlest kids over today and we had a full day of play – putting together what we’ve affectionately coined the “Toddler Brigade.”  (4 children at ages 5, 4 and 3. ) My son, being an only child, gets a full dose of what it’s like to have siblings, I get to spend time with my SIL (also one of my closest friends).   A win-win situation, all around.

And today, in discussing the things our kids have said and done since we last talked, dual stories popped up that made us stop, think and realize that our children are little adults in training.  They pick up so much more than we sometimes think they do, they form opinions — good or bad — based on their observations, and often times, the imagery and words they see are taken literally.  Very literally.

First story: A few weeks back, my told my husband and I that a friend of ours “didn’t like her husband.  She wouldn’t let him kiss her.”    And in fact, that week that he witnessed this exchange, she was rather irritated with her husband.   If you’ve been married anything longer than the honeymoon, you get irritated, it happens.  But what shocked us what what he saw (she wouldn’t let him kiss her) and how HE, as a four year old, translated that.  It meant, to him — “She doesn’t like him.”   There was no shade of gray for him, there was no “it’s complicated”, or “right now” or even, “just at this particular minute.”  It was an ending statement.

And if that wasn’t enough to make us truly consider how our words and actions could be construed, my SIL had a story to share, too.  Her daughter came to her the other day and said, “Steve Poizner is a liar.  And he drives cars off cliffs. He’s a bad man. He hurts people.”

Normally, I’m not one to ever mention politics on a blog and I’m not doing it now  (so please, no political opinion in the commentary ;) – I only mention his name because it was specifically an ad on television, in opposition to this man — who is running for California Governor.  This ad includes words such as “Mr. Poizner lied about” and “he lied about this…” and it showed imagery of a car being driven off a cliff, with words to match that state he will drive California over the cliff. (Or something to that affect, I’m not entirely sure of the ad content.)

But what my niece took from this?  He drives cars over cliffs. He hurts people.

I would venture to guess that’s exactly what the folks who created the ad wanted people to think.  But a five year old?   It amazed me that she pulled so much from a 30 or 60 second commercial, that she formed such a specific opinion from the images and words she saw.  And it reminded me to never, ever underestimate how much awareness children have in the room.  Just because they are little and might seem not to notice doesn’t mean they aren’t paying very close attention.

What about you?  What surprising things have your children noticed?

Special Guest- USA Today Bestseller Sally MacKenzie, ‘Naked’ series author

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

MamaWriters are completely thrilled to have Sally MacKenzie with us today. With a series of fabulously popular, fun Regencies, starting with The Naked Duke, Sally MacKenzie knows what it’s like to be a mom and a bestselling author. But not at the same time.

With some surprising lessons and wonderful insights, Sally talks with us about something we writers and mos don’t usually discuss: Maybe we can’t do it all, not at the same time.  And maybe that’s okay.

Please help us welcome Sally MacKenzie!

Hello to all the mama writers out there!  I have to like the blog’s motto: “Raising kids.  Writing romance.”   When Kris asked me to stop by, though, I wasn’t sure if she really wanted me. I told her I felt a bit of an imposter, but she said that was ok.

How am I an imposter? I am a wife and mother and I write romance, but I quit writing fiction for a number of years while I was raising my four sons.

Yep, I quit. Not right away.  At first I wrote while the baby of the year was napping or played nearby.  I bought a thick pad to muffle the sound of the typewriter.  (I shudder to admit that was pre-personal computer days.)

I finally did get a PC–an IBM XT for what now would be an outrageous price–when son #2 arrived, and then I switched to writing picture book texts.  The shorter length seemed more manageable and, truthfully, picture books were my main reading material at the time. I sent many of those out to publishers and got some positive rejections.  I even went through revisions with one house, but ultimately they decided my story was too much like another book already published and passed on it.

And then the youngest reached his final year of pre-school.  I decided to put writing aside to enjoy my last baby until he went off to full day kindergarten

Eight years and many carpool miles later….

I got back to writing when my oldest son was heading off to college.  I decided it was time to either follow my dream or give it up. I’d always loved Georgette Heyer’s books, and I’d read many–probably hundreds–of regencies while I was doing the baby thing, so I thought I’d try my hand at writing one.  The stars aligned, and The Naked Duke debuted in February 2005.  I’ve been writing Naked every since.

Do I regret my decision to stop for a while?  Yes…and no.

If I’d kept writing, maybe my career would now rival Norah Roberts’.

Wait.  Let me take a moment to savor that thought.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’d have burned out. Maybe I’d never have published. Maybe I’d be divorced. Maybe my kids would be in jail.

Or maybe not.

I don’t know what would have happened if I’d made a different decision.  When I look back, I have to remind myself how busy I was with kid duties.   My husband worked virtually 24-7.  His salary allowed me to stay home, but his hours meant I was mostly a single mom.  I wanted my sons to be in scouts and sports, to take piano lessons, to have lots of opportunities and experiences–and some of those activities needed me to step in to keep them going.

Would I recommend quitting?  No, unless you can walk away with no regrets.  If you can truly give writing up–or at least writing for publication–I’d say do it.  Publishing is a crazy business with no guarantees and absolutely no job security.  But if you’re cursed to be a writer (and I have to say some days it does feel like a curse), you probably don’t have a choice. The need to write will nag at you and eat at you until you finally give in.

The Naked Duke-Spanish Edition

If for some reason you can’t put aside a little time regularly to write fiction, you can do other things to hone your skills and prepare for the time when you can carve out fiction-writing time.  I always looked for volunteer jobs that involved writing.  I edited school and community newsletters: I wrote swim league guidance and high school fundraising programs and even a couple kid plays.  And my other volunteer positions–Cubmaster, swim team organizer, PTA president–helped me develop skills I find useful in the non-writing side of my writing business.

There’s definitely a risk in stopping.  On more than one occasion I found myself thinking about Langston Hughes’ poem, “A Dream Deferred.” And the longer I went without writing, the more impossible the dream seemed.  (Though I have to confess I feel overwhelmed every single time I face a blank computer screen whether at the start of a new novel or even the start of a new day’s writing session.)

I’m in awe of all my friends who are meeting deadlines and raising kids.  But we are each different with different demands on our time and energy and mental space.  Balancing everything is an ongoing challenge that I still haven’t mastered. But then life is a journey, not a race, right?

Okay, here’s the promo part–you didn’t think I just stopped by for the heck of it, did you?  If you’re looking for an escape from all the balancing, my next Naked book, The Naked Viscount, is out June 1–and earlier in some places.

The heroine is Jane Parker-Roth whom I met when I wrote The Naked Gentleman.  She pretty much grabbed me by the ears and demanded her own story.  The hero, Lord Motton, is beset by aunties. The story was inspired by one of Thomas Rowlandson’s pornographic prints that I saw in Vic Gatrell’s City of Laughter and features Pan statues with prodigious penises.

Did I happen to mention my youngest son’s college application essay was all about how embarrassing it is to have a mother who writes these books?  I did feel for him.  The Naked Duke came out when he was a sophomore at an all male Jesuit high school and I’d just finished a term as Parents Club co-chair.  But hey, don’t we parents exist to embarrass our children?

Special Guest – Annette McCleave on ‘Single Authorhood’

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

MamaWriters are excited to have my friend and paranormal romance author Annette McCleave with us today!  Her second book, BOUND BY DARKNESS, has just released, and is garnering wonderful reviews. such as her 4 1/2 star Romantic Times review, which said, “An emotional read…full of suspense and danger…”

Please help us welcome Annette McCleave!

Single Authorhood

Being an author who is a single parent is both a blessing and a challenge. On one hand, working from home and having a flexible schedule means I can attend almost every band performance and school play.

On the other, it means when deadline time rolls around, my daughter is on her own for long stretches of time. Fortunately, my daughter is a young teen now and she can entertain herself. She’s also perfectly happy to eat take-out when mom doesn’t have time to cook.

Being a teen is hard. Between the raging hormones and the social issues, weathering the high school years can be tough. Finding your place in the world is overwhelming. But my decision to become an author has opened the door for a discussion with my teen that I wish my own parents had shared with me—the importance of holding on to your dreams.

I don’t know about you, but my parents lectured me repeatedly about getting a good job, being financially stable and setting goals that were achievable. Dreams never entered into the mix. But dreams sustain us—they are the underpinnings of hope.

My daughter has seen me give up a corporate career in favour of a less stable, lower-paying job, and she knows that chasing your dreams has a price. The flip side of that is she knows a well-paying job and a nice house don’t necessarily equate happiness. She’s also seen me work hard, persist, and eventually triumph. Dreams really can come true.

Because it’s just the two of us, she’s shared every part of the journey and the excitement.  Every time I release a new book, as I did last week, she’s right there with me, beaming at the cover on the shelf. She even invited me to speak to her class about being an author. Truth is, if the only lesson she learns from me is to never give up on her dreams, I’ll be one very happy single parent.

It’ll make up for all the guilt. :- )

My daughter’s favourite moms-on-deadline meal is Chinese food. Do you have a favorite emergency dinner in your family? What is it?
If you’re interested in learning more about the book I released last week, Bound by Darkness, stop by my website. I’m running a release contest until the end of May, so be sure to check out the details.

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