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Archive for Staying at Home

An Ode To Mama’s Boy

Friday, February 26th, 2010

 

img_0001Meet my little mama’s boy! Shoe-in for a cover model career, ain’t he?

I’m not at all embarrassed to say I’m wrapped around this little guy’s finger. The first time I held him in my arms I was lost. Talk about a beautiful baby, but then, I’m extremely biased! J

My first child was born in late 2005. Little did I know seventeen months later my daughter would get a brother. (obviously, I didn’t get the memo on what causes such things, huh? lol) When he was fifteen months old, I noticed my son wasn’t babbling like his sister had done. Two months later, an evaluation revealed his speech was delayed. A lot.

Ever heard of Apraxia? It’s a speech disorder that takes A LOT of speech therapy. Thanks to a year of intense therapy, meaning me driving him to as many as four sessions a week, my boy can say close to ten words. Some of the words he approximates with gestures and sign, but it’s a HUGE turn-around from last January.

One of the first hurdles he had to overcome was learning how to formulate words. Simple sounds like “Oh” and “Ah”. His upper lip was stiff, almost as if novacained. Lots of flutes, straws, and whistles later, he’s a champ at busting out those sounds with full lip curvature. Wah-hoo! (it got very loud at our house!)

When we open a door or a lid, it’s “Oop-en”. He wants to be picked up? It’s “Uh-pah”. My kitchen decor is now pictures of animals and objects to practice saying. Easy words we take for granted, but ones he has to work for. And it is work for him.

Yesterday, we took him to get tubes put in his ears. Two hours later, he was back to full steam AND attempting new words. We’d say a word and he’d repeat it! BIG CHANGE! Some of words he nailed with excellent clarity. With others, he managed to match the syllable breaks. AWESOME! I can’t wait to take him to speech today and see how he does. The results are that fast. The doctor told us the poor guy’s ears were clogged with mucus (even after finishing around of meds), but now he’ll have clear ears for 15 months!

I’m so completely happy! There are no words to define how good it is to see him make another leap.

It’s only been within the last month that he has perfected saying, “Mama”. I love, love hearing him say the word, because I know how hard he had to work to get to that point. Believe it our not, those “M’s” are a pretty high hill to climb. But, he succeeded.

The last year has been a roller coaster more suited for a beach boardwalk than real life, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve had to reach farther than I’ve ever had to reach before. Trying to juggle everything without throwing my hands in the air in defeat has been a true challenge. I’ve had to learn articulation, spontaneous retrieval, and diphthongs right along-side my boy. Much in the same way I’ve had to learn point of view, character arc, GMC, and all the other ‘good stuff’ about honing my craft. Both take time to understand and dedication to know how to apply correctly, but if he can do it, well, darn it, so can I!

Most of the time, I’m so frazzled I can’t remember what I did the day before! But I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My Kiddos

My Kiddos

When was the last time your “real life” taught you something about yourself?

For me? I learned I had way too much self-doubt and that stubbornness isn’t always a a vice! :)

 

To learn more about Sarah Simas, check out her blog: The Lovestruck Novice or her critique group’s blog: Friday Night Write.

Special Guest – Historical Romance Author Carrie Lofty

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

MamaWriters are excited to have Carrie Lofty with us today! Author of two medieval romances, her second one, Soundrel’s Kiss, just released from Kensington this month, and she’s talking about the writing of that book, and how, with her young kids newly off to school, the magical appearance of Lots Of Time didn’t appear so magically after all. Hmmm, I was certain that was part of the deal . . .?

Please help us welcome Carrie Lofty!

Scoundrel's Kiss

Many, Many Mochas

Writing SCOUNDREL’S KISS was my first experience of producing fiction under deadline. Until then, I’d worked of my own volition and with self-imposed goals. (Seeing as how my girls were not yet in preschool at the time, that was probably for the best!)

But as I sat down in the fall of 2007 to write SCOUNDREL’S KISS, something miraculous took place: my little darlings went off to school! Preschool and pre-K to be exact, and for only three hours a day, but I thought it the most wondrous three hours any day had ever seen fit to provide.

Imagine that. No interruptions. No other chores. No expectations other than producing new pages each day. Bliss.

Only…it didn’t quite work out that way.

I couldn’t seem to concentrate. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Part of me, after years of staying at home with the girls while my husband finished up his MBA, was in rebellion. I wanted to play around for a while! And to say I lacked discipline is a radical understatement. What I can now do in a day took me the whole work week back then. At such a pitiful rate, I was going to run up against my deadline. Not good!

So I started dropping off the girls and heading straight over to my local coffee shop. Some days I would cheap out and order the $1 house coffee. Other days I would splurge on a mocha. There, I was able to find my groove. All of those uninterrupted, productive three-hour blocks began to materialize as I’d hoped. Chapter after chapter clicked by.

I submitted my manuscript with a month to spare.

Not only did I get past the initial freak out of making my child-free hours productive, I learned how to apply myself toward external deadlines. The skills I’d forgotten since having my daughters came back in force. And it only took an unfathomable number of mochas.

Times have changed since that first fall as a professional writer. My girls are in kindergarten and first grade now, away from home 6+ hours a day. I have time to write, network, promote, do chores, and even sometimes exercise. (Can you tell I’m still thinking along the lines of new year’s resolutions?)

But to do so, I still have to be vigilant, lest I lose whole days to Twitter, “Doctor Who,” and “So You Think You Can Dance.” Most times, I do my writing away from my desktop computer, with its super high speed internet connection and gorgeous widescreen monitor. But luckily for my bank account, I eventually learned to spend working hours in the library!

Visit Carrie and check out excerpts and reviews at http://carrielofty.com/

Making a List…

Friday, December 18th, 2009

Good morning!

It’s still early out here in SoCal – and the sun is creeping over the dome of Mount Palomar. Jack Frost painted the grass a dull white, and the bird feeders are empty. Leaves are scattered on the lawn, blown off the trees after the last storm. One long look out the back window, and I know there’s sweeping, raking, and clean-up duty in my future. The “Things to do” list just got a little longer.

Now that I’m writing full time, and being a full time mama to my girls, I live by my list. What I can check off. What I can do to contribute to the home, while my hubby is out saving the city, one pot hole at a time (ha! ha!) Still, the list is of utmost importance. I separate it into three parts – as learned from Steven Covey ages ago:

A list items: Things I HAVE to do.
B list items: Things I NEED to do, but could possibly wait a day.
C list items: Things I’d LIKE to do, but don’t really need to get done any time soon.

Within the A, B, C – you can rank your items. Level A-1: DON’T DELAY! Do it First! A-2, 3, 4… etc. Same with B & C.

Another tip, if an item has been a C-5 for ages – take it off the list. You don’t need to think about it anymore. Also, figure out what C items can be delegated to other people.

So, here’s my list for today – to give you an idea on how it works.

A-1: Feed/Dress kids
A-2: Mail package to Granddaddy
A-3: Vacuum up “snow” from floors upstairs & down (Kids had a “fake snow fight” while I made brittle yesterday… UGH!)
A-4: Take girls to Play date at Park
A-5: Pick up Hubby’s present from Sporting Goods Store!
B-1: Write 1500 words in Mammoth Secrets
B-2: Shop for Kitty Litter, Produce, Milk
B-3: Pick up glasses from Eye Doctor
B-4: Clean up back porch & yard
C-1: Deliver Candy/Cookies to mom’s club friends & Neighbors
C-2: Put out St. Nicholas Square

Now, I’ve had St. Nicholas Square on that list since we started decorating after Thanksgiving. WHY o Why putting out the tiny little village has become a point of contention, I have no idea. I think because suddenly I have SO much help!!! More than I can handle. Still, the thought of seeing their eyes light up at the familiar buildings, the sledding hill, the town square, maybe we will move that one up to the B’s today. After I clean up the yard & finally pick up my new glasses. SIGH.

What’s on your to do list for the day? Do you have a better system for getting things done? I’d LOVE to hear!

~Ashley

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What’s On Your List For Santa?

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Nothing can stop him . . .

Nothing can stop him . . .

At our home, we’ve been very aware of our List For Santa for over a month now.  Our son knows it is vitally important he get his list in the mail in time for Santa to prepare. I’ve explained that Santa is magi, so we’ll be okay no matter what, but I think he’d rest easier if we get that puppy in the mail.

The list is filled with sweet and wonderful, concrete items that feel so sane, and sweet, and fleeting.  They’re things that truly will bring genuine happiness for a little while.  No filing of neurotic holes with gifts or other sparkly distractions just yet; it’s all good right now, whether it’s a toy pirate wiedling a cutlass, a scooter to take down the street, or a “goldfish I can name Smith.”

Sure.  Whatever you need, sweetie.

But it got me thinking, neuroses aside, what would I ask for from Santa?  Some may be those oft more intangible things, and some are as concrete as, well, concrete.

So I started my list.  It’s tentative–I still have 9 days to revise.

1) An internally-generated desire to–and love for–cleaning the house.  My house.

2) The ability to conjure, on demand, meaningful, plot-forwarding scenes. i.e. The ability to summon my Muse like she’s a veil-wearing genie trapped in a lamp.

3) Julie Anne Long to write and release minimum 3 books a year that feel like Perils of Pleasure or Like No Other Lover, only different.

4) For me to start liking things that are good for me.  I mean this very specifically.  I don’t mean things like ‘Men who don’t diminish my self of self-worth’ or such.   I mean things like: Green beans; Running around the track in a sweatsuit; Lifting weights.  That sort of thing.

5) To sell more books (Oh, wait.  Santa already delivered that, via a 2 book contract with Abby Zidle at Pocket Books, just last week.  Thanks, Santa!)

6) A loving, funny husband who supports me in my dreams, even so far as letting me not earn a penny to pursue said dream.  (Oh, wait.  I am living that one too. )

7) A healthy, bright, funny excited child who’s still young enough to call me ‘Mommy” and “Mama” and “My love,” and snuggle on my lap, saying one of the above–or all of them–over and over again, while kissing me.  :-)   Oh, yes, I have been given that, too.

Hmm, maybe I should focus more on what I have, rather than what I don’t have.

England, 1152: After seventeen years of civil war, things are about to change...

England, 1152: After seventeen years of civil war, things are about to change...

Maybe I will give myself and my family a Christmas gift from the heart this year.  Maybe I will devote myself to focusing on being more appreciative of them and how they’ve enriched my life, rather than what could be different.  And certainly to stop telling myself that “different” automatically equals “better.”

Maybe I don’t need Santa after all . . .  Maybe, by now, I can give it to myself.

Oh, heck . . .  I admit, I could really use that whole ‘I love cleaning!’ bit.  Pretty please . . . ?

So, what about you?  What’s on your list to Santa? And what can you give to yourself this year, instead?

Oh, and by the way . . . if you (or your kids) need proof that Santa really is coming, check this out.  NORAD can prove it.

http://www.noradsanta.org/



Special Guest – Debut Author Kelly Gay

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

I’m excited to welcome my friend and fellow 2008 Golden Heart finalist Kelly Gay to MamaWriters today!  Her debut urban fantasy novel, THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS, releases next week, and has already received a starred review in Publisher Weekly.

She is a three-time RWA Golden Heart finalist, and recipient of a North Carolina Arts Council fellowship grant in Literature, and is currently working on the sequel to her debut novel and a new Young Adult series.

Please help us welcome Kelly Gay!

kgay_small-author-photoVery excited to be here at Mama Writers, and a big thanks to Kris Kennedy for asking me to stop by and chat!

My debut urban fantasy novel, THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS , releases next week (Nov. 24th) from Pocket Books, and I’ve been up to my ears in trying to get the word out, deal with revisions on the second book, and still be a mom to my kids and all that entails. I am exhausted.

But my kids, somehow, end up providing the comic relief I need to stop and take a break, to laugh and remember that if I don’t get something done, it’s not the end of the world.

Case in point:

Talking to my editor about author copies, revisions, book signings, etc., while trying to keep my ‘almost 2 yr old’ son in our front yard… Now, usually my editor and I talk during the day when Boy Child is at daycare, but on this particular day he was home. (I did preface the conversation with a ‘Child is Home Warning’.) It was actually going quite well until said child got a hold of the car keys and pressed the panic alarm and then ran down the sidewalk with the keys. My editor had a good laugh at that. Then, Angelic child ran around the car with the keys, continually pressing the button. Let’s just say it was a total phone call failure of epic proportions, and a pretty good example of my writing life with kids.

I’ve been known to duck into closets to take an important phone call. Take my 9 yr old, (who should know better), recently stuck notes under the closet door while I was talking with my agent. Notes that said:

Is it your agent or editor? Circle one.

I am awesome. Just wanted you to know.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I’m hungry. Hurry up.better-part

There are times when I’m exhausted, stressed out, and just need a break from all the jobs that I do. And, sometimes, I stop existing in the present and get so wrapped up in these jobs, always thinking ten steps ahead of myself, that I forget to slow down and live in the moment that I’m in.

But my kids are always there to snap me out of it. Like Charlie Madigan, my single mom heroine in THE BETTER PART OF DARKNESS, my kids keep me grounded, and present, and always moving forward. It’s not easy. But somehow we all manage to get through each day with a little laughter. It might not be at the most opportune time, but I’ll take it.  :-)

Kelly

www.kellygay.net
http://kellygay.blogspot.com

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