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Archive for Memories

What I’ve Learned

Monday, June 28th, 2010

MamaWriters is coming to an end—for now. This is my very last post here and, as in life, if something I love ends—like a relaxing vacation that ends too quickly, a good friend who moves out of state or a brilliant book that leaves me wanting more—I try to look on the positive side, savor the memories, and remember all that I’ve gained from the experience. All that I’ve learned.

You might be wondering what the heck I could’ve learned from a blog written by a bunch of moms who just happen to be tackling one of the most difficult and challenging careers on the planet. From home!

Well, lemme just tell ya:

-Take care of yourself. You’ve earned it.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/09/put-on-your-mask-and-take-a-deep-breath/

-Sex is not a dirty word. http://mamawriters.com/2009/04/what-is-s-e-x/

-Mamahood is unpredictable but rewarding.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/mama-drama/

-Love comes from the most unexpected places. http://mamawriters.com/2010/02/my-valentine/

-Children follow our lead. http://mamawriters.com/2009/03/what-do-we-teach-our-kids-when-we/

-Feeling guilty? You’re not alone. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/guilt-mothers-hold-the-market/

-Treasure the milestones. http://mamawriters.com/2010/05/milestones/

-Help! We can’t do it all. http://mamawriters.com/2010/02/when-you-are-the-one-who-does-it-all/

-We most certainly can do it all. http://mamawriters.com/2009/10/finding-time-making-time/

-Sometimes humor is the best way to go. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/no-problem-a-day-in-the-life-of-a-mama-writer/

-Life is messy but oh-so good. http://mamawriters.com/2010/06/endings-and-beginnings-the-call-and-last-post-on-mamawriters/

-Our voices are unique. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/finding-your-voice/

-To plot or to pants it? Every writer is different.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/08/plotters-vs-pantsers/

-Enjoy being a mom. The moments are priceless. http://mamawriters.com/2010/04/im-now-that-kind-of-mom/

Yep, I’m savoring these lessons and SO many more. What did you learn from the MamaWriters? Any favorite posts?

Viola Estrella – A proud mama and romance writer

www.violaestrella.com

Special Guest Author Marie Force on Working From Home

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

Today I am excited to introduce you all to a fabulous mama writer, Marie Force.  Marie currently writes for both Sourcebooks and Carina Press, while working full time from home and taking care of her two children. 

What I Did For Work…

By: Marie Force

 

Long before I ever touched pen to paper to write fiction, I worked full-time from home. In fact, I still work full-time from home 12 years after beginning what, at the time, was a grand experiment. In 1998 I was the only person I knew who worked as a telecommuter to an out-of-state company. Today, the trend is much more common but no less challenging. 

Here is the short story of how I ended up a telecommuter: Nearly 15 years ago, I returned to the United States with my husband, who was in the Navy, after living in Spain for three years. We brought home a three-month-old daughter and two dogs who’d joined the family in Spain. Relocating to the Washington, D.C. area for a three-year tour, I immediately began looking for a job. A month or so later, I was hired as the communications director by an Alexandria, VA-based national organization that today has 15,000 members. The only downside was my hellishly long commute—50 to 90 minutes each way, depending on the time of day. The only reason I could bear this horrible commute was because I knew that in three years my husband was due to move again.

Those three years passed in a blur. We added a son to the family a month before we were due to move to Jacksonville, FL. As I was packing up my office, my boss wandered into have a chat. What if, he said, you stayed on remotely? How could this possibly work? I wondered. But the more we talked about it, the more feasible it became, and we agreed to give it a whirl. So I moved to Jacksonville with a three-year-old who had spent all her days with daddy (who worked the night shift while we were in Maryland), a one-month-old who didn’t sleep through the night until he was 18 months old, two dogs, AND a full-time job at home. And did I mention that my husband was moving from an office job to an aircraft carrier? And did I mention that the U.S.S. John F. Kennedy was in a particularly strenuous deployment cycle during the three years he was stationed on board? Is it any wonder I call the Jacksonville years the “Calgon Take Me Away” portion of my life as a mother. To be honest, I barely remember the four years we lived there. It’s all a blur.

One spring, as my company prepared for its annual meeting, I was desperate to get in some hours in the office. I hired the neighborhood girl who often babysat for my kids and closed the door to my office. Well, that didn’t work at all. The kids knew I was in there and were literally clawing at the door crying for mommy. A week later, I hired her again only this time I’d gotten smart about it. I said, “Bye, guys! Mommy will be back in a little while. Have fun with Corrine.” Bye, bye they said, and all was well as I walked out my front door, around to the back of my house, and crawled into the office window I’d opened earlier. Success! Three hours later, I called the house from my office phone and asked Corrine to take them outside for a bit so I could take a potty break and grab a snack. That bought me a few more hours. We live, and we learn. As a work-at-home mother who relied very little on daycare, I can tell you down to the day how long it took me to get two kids into school full time: 10 years, 1 month and 23 days. That’s a long time to juggle kids and work!

Today, my kids are nearly 15 and 12. They have never known any other existence than a mom who works full time from home. Because I wasn’t already busy enough, I’ve added a book-writing gig to my docket, which has gotten quite busy since my first book, LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, was published in 2008. I think the greatest legacy of being a work-at-home mom is that it has made my kids very self-sufficient. They get their own snacks, they make their own fun, they know better than to interrupt a phone call for anything less than blood, and they get to see their mom working hard to provide a nice life for them. The downside is that something else, at least during the work hours, often has to take priority over them. Sure, their dad works all day, too, but they don’t see that. They know it, intellectually, but they don’t have to compete against it for his attention.

In the final analysis, I hope they’ll remember that I was here to greet them after school every day and to run them around in the afternoons to various activities. Now that my daughter is in high school, located two doors up the street from our house, I think she wishes I were a little less available after school. However, I’ve come to realize that being home with them now is far more critical than it was when they were babies and I was forced to crawl through windows to get some work time.

I’ll give one copy of FATAL AFFAIR to the best “desperate to work” story. Thanks for having me today.  I look forward to visiting with you!

I should mention that my next book, FATAL AFFAIR, a romantic suspense, will be out June 21 from Carina Press. Here’s some info about the book:

 On the morning of the most important vote of Senator John O’Connor’s career he is late—again. His best friend and chief of staff, Nick Cappuano sets off to O’Connor’s apartment expecting to roust him from bed and hoping he is alone. But what Nick finds is that O’Connor, the handsome, amiable Senator from Virginia, has been brutally murdered, and Nick’s world comes crashing down around him. Complicating the disaster, the detective assigned to the case is none other than Sam Holland, Nick’s one-night stand from six years earlier, the woman who broke his heart and haunts his dreams. With six years worth of unfinished business hanging between them and more than a few scores to settle personally and professionally, Nick and Sam set out to find the senator’s killer while trying—and failing—to resist the overwhelming attraction between them that seems to have only grown over the years.

 

It soon becomes clear that the senator’s past holds secrets that not only led to his death but now endanger Nick and Sam as well. Working together to find a killer and to rediscover the love they thought they lost long ago, they must put the past behind them and build a future that offers a world of new opportunities for both of them—including an offer from the Virginia Democrats for Nick to finish the last year of John’s term.

About Marie:

Marie Force’s first romantic suspense, FATAL AFFAIR, will be out June 21, 2010 from Carina Press. Book 2 in the Fatal Series, FATAL JUSTICE, is coming soon from Carina. She is also the author of LINE OF SCRIMMAGE and LOVE AT FIRST FLIGHT. Of LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, Booklist said, “With its humor and endearing characters, Force’s charming novel will appeal to a broad spectrum of readers, reaching far beyond sports fans.” Wild on Books said, “LOVE AT FIRST FLIGHT by Marie Force is most definitely a keeper. It is an astounding book. I loved every single word!” A third contemporary, EVERYBODY LOVES A HERO, is due out Feb. 1, 2011. Since 1996, Marie has been the communications director for a national organization similar to the Romance Writers of America. She is a member of RWA’s New England, From the Heart and Published Author Special Interest Chapters. While her husband was in the Navy, Marie lived in Spain, Maryland and Florida, and is now settled in her home state of Rhode Island. She is the mother of two children and a feisty dog named Brandy. Find her at www.mariesullivanforce.com, on her blog at http://mariesullivanforce.blogspot.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/pages/Marie-Force/248130827909 and on Twitter at twitter.com/MarieForce. Marie loves to hear from readers. Contact her at marie@marieforce.com.

 

Endings and Beginnings-’The Call’ And Last Post on MamaWriters

Thursday, June 3rd, 2010

Well, ladies, not sure if you’ve heard, but MamaWriters is shutting down, so this is my last MamaWriters post.

It’s a bittersweet time.  My second book, The Irish Warrior, just released June 1.  I love this story, so it’s very exciting, and . . . it’s another threshold.

This whole period in my life feels pregnant with loss and with possibilities, tying together the start of the life of a new book, the end of the story I’m working on (and turning in to my new editor at Pocket very soon!), the beginning of another story,  and the end of MamaWriters.  Oh, and the end of the school year.  Wow.

I’ll be uploading a few of our fabulous guests through the rest of this month, but this is my last post.  The blog will stay live, so you can access the Community Features, and we reserve the right to start back up in some new incarnation  in the future, so keep us on your Twitter feed and be prepared!

It seemed like a good time to go back and think about when I got The Call, which was only two years ago.  And yet it seems like so much longer.   My ‘Call’ story is tied in to being a mom to a young child, and to  love, and it seemed appropriate to end with something that feels so much like a beginning.

How often is that they way, with writing and with parenting?  An end is a new beginning, and we have to constant flex and change so our children can thrive, so our stories can thrive, and so we can thrive, as moms and wives and workers and women.

The Call: From Pink Eye To Published

Okay, so it wasn’t *my* pink eye.  It was my not-very-happy little boy’s.  But I was sitting there, forcibly–I mean, lovingly–holding a warm compress to his very, very pink eye, when my agent called with the news that I had been offered a 2 book contract with Kensington Publishing.

I was excited, of course.  Deliriously so.  I was also wondering if I was spreading pink eye germs onto the phone.

I was, of course.

So, while my agent talked, and I ooh-ed and okay-ed, I also wiped lavender-based cleaner all over the phone receiver with one hand, while holding the warm, loving compress to my child’s eye with the other, phone nestled–lovingly, of course–between my cramping shoulder and cheek.

You know the pose.   The accoutrements may vary, but the pose is the same–the twisted torso of love.

You know it.  You’ve done it a thousand times.  You’re a woman.

And why do we do this?  Well, aside from the Awesome Paycheck we receive as mothers, it’s because of LOVE.

Which, funnily enough, is also what our novels are about. And I think this is one of the reasons the genre is disdained in the publishing world.

Yes,  genre fiction gets disdained in general to some degree or another, but I’m not sure that romance doesn’t take the hardest hit of all.  (Perhaps I only say that because I write romance, and so I feel those hits more powerfully, because I take them more directly.)

But I maintain that this focus on love is part of the reason it’s disdained.

I think people are scared. Perhaps taken aback by love being so in-your-face as it in our novels.  Embarrassed by the notion that someone would face it so openly, would focus on it so directly.  We just don’t do that in our culture: much too messy.  We’re allowed to work hard, and harder yet.  We’re encouraged to buy things, and we’re praised for being busy.  But loving?  Hmmm… not sure I see that as often.

And yet, that’s what romances do–put LOVE right smack in the center of everything.  And it’s so darned . . . messy.

We’re all a little scared of that messiness.  Maybe, when we read a romance, we brush up against uncomfortable considerations of how we’ve ‘done’ love in our own lives.  The times we haven’t loved well enough, or deeply enough, or openly enough. The times we played it safe, held back, opened our arms *halfway,* not all the way.  And the shadowed regrets of what we might have lost.  Or gained.

And maybe, the best romance novels, maybe they help renew our motivation to do better next time.  Like when our loved ones get home from work.  Today.

In a romance novel, in the end, the protagonists metaphorically reach out and say ‘Yes‘ at some fundamental level.  They act, they move, they shake things up.   They face their fears, they make mistakes, they anger people, and they DO.  They LIVE.  They’re alive.  And in love. And they move toward it with their arms open.

I think that might be scary to some people.  I know it’s scary to me sometimes.

Now, you see how that relates to pink eye?  I thought so.

Feeling great respect and affection for all the MamaWriters out there.  Please find me on Twitter or Facebook, and here is my website,–drop me a line and say Hi sometime!  you don’t need to have a huge agenda: staying in touch is good enough.  And if we haven’t ‘met’ yet online…?  So what.  Write me anyhow.

Be good to those you love and above all, to yourself.

Kris Kennedy writes sexy, adventure-filled medieval romances for Kensington and Pocket Books. At her website, you can sign-up for the newsletter and drop Kris a line saying Hi! THE IRISH WARRIOR, winner of the 2008 Golden Heart® Award for Best Historical Romance, released June 1. Read a sexy excerpt here!

Special Guest- USA Today Bestseller Sally MacKenzie, ‘Naked’ series author

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

MamaWriters are completely thrilled to have Sally MacKenzie with us today. With a series of fabulously popular, fun Regencies, starting with The Naked Duke, Sally MacKenzie knows what it’s like to be a mom and a bestselling author. But not at the same time.

With some surprising lessons and wonderful insights, Sally talks with us about something we writers and mos don’t usually discuss: Maybe we can’t do it all, not at the same time.  And maybe that’s okay.

Please help us welcome Sally MacKenzie!

Hello to all the mama writers out there!  I have to like the blog’s motto: “Raising kids.  Writing romance.”   When Kris asked me to stop by, though, I wasn’t sure if she really wanted me. I told her I felt a bit of an imposter, but she said that was ok.

How am I an imposter? I am a wife and mother and I write romance, but I quit writing fiction for a number of years while I was raising my four sons.

Yep, I quit. Not right away.  At first I wrote while the baby of the year was napping or played nearby.  I bought a thick pad to muffle the sound of the typewriter.  (I shudder to admit that was pre-personal computer days.)

I finally did get a PC–an IBM XT for what now would be an outrageous price–when son #2 arrived, and then I switched to writing picture book texts.  The shorter length seemed more manageable and, truthfully, picture books were my main reading material at the time. I sent many of those out to publishers and got some positive rejections.  I even went through revisions with one house, but ultimately they decided my story was too much like another book already published and passed on it.

And then the youngest reached his final year of pre-school.  I decided to put writing aside to enjoy my last baby until he went off to full day kindergarten

Eight years and many carpool miles later….

I got back to writing when my oldest son was heading off to college.  I decided it was time to either follow my dream or give it up. I’d always loved Georgette Heyer’s books, and I’d read many–probably hundreds–of regencies while I was doing the baby thing, so I thought I’d try my hand at writing one.  The stars aligned, and The Naked Duke debuted in February 2005.  I’ve been writing Naked every since.

Do I regret my decision to stop for a while?  Yes…and no.

If I’d kept writing, maybe my career would now rival Norah Roberts’.

Wait.  Let me take a moment to savor that thought.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’d have burned out. Maybe I’d never have published. Maybe I’d be divorced. Maybe my kids would be in jail.

Or maybe not.

I don’t know what would have happened if I’d made a different decision.  When I look back, I have to remind myself how busy I was with kid duties.   My husband worked virtually 24-7.  His salary allowed me to stay home, but his hours meant I was mostly a single mom.  I wanted my sons to be in scouts and sports, to take piano lessons, to have lots of opportunities and experiences–and some of those activities needed me to step in to keep them going.

Would I recommend quitting?  No, unless you can walk away with no regrets.  If you can truly give writing up–or at least writing for publication–I’d say do it.  Publishing is a crazy business with no guarantees and absolutely no job security.  But if you’re cursed to be a writer (and I have to say some days it does feel like a curse), you probably don’t have a choice. The need to write will nag at you and eat at you until you finally give in.

The Naked Duke-Spanish Edition

If for some reason you can’t put aside a little time regularly to write fiction, you can do other things to hone your skills and prepare for the time when you can carve out fiction-writing time.  I always looked for volunteer jobs that involved writing.  I edited school and community newsletters: I wrote swim league guidance and high school fundraising programs and even a couple kid plays.  And my other volunteer positions–Cubmaster, swim team organizer, PTA president–helped me develop skills I find useful in the non-writing side of my writing business.

There’s definitely a risk in stopping.  On more than one occasion I found myself thinking about Langston Hughes’ poem, “A Dream Deferred.” And the longer I went without writing, the more impossible the dream seemed.  (Though I have to confess I feel overwhelmed every single time I face a blank computer screen whether at the start of a new novel or even the start of a new day’s writing session.)

I’m in awe of all my friends who are meeting deadlines and raising kids.  But we are each different with different demands on our time and energy and mental space.  Balancing everything is an ongoing challenge that I still haven’t mastered. But then life is a journey, not a race, right?

Okay, here’s the promo part–you didn’t think I just stopped by for the heck of it, did you?  If you’re looking for an escape from all the balancing, my next Naked book, The Naked Viscount, is out June 1–and earlier in some places.

The heroine is Jane Parker-Roth whom I met when I wrote The Naked Gentleman.  She pretty much grabbed me by the ears and demanded her own story.  The hero, Lord Motton, is beset by aunties. The story was inspired by one of Thomas Rowlandson’s pornographic prints that I saw in Vic Gatrell’s City of Laughter and features Pan statues with prodigious penises.

Did I happen to mention my youngest son’s college application essay was all about how embarrassing it is to have a mother who writes these books?  I did feel for him.  The Naked Duke came out when he was a sophomore at an all male Jesuit high school and I’d just finished a term as Parents Club co-chair.  But hey, don’t we parents exist to embarrass our children?

So Worth It

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

I’m writing this at 10pm the night before my post is due because I didn’t have the foresight to write it before one of the most exhausting weekends of my life. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration. Or maybe I’m getting older and my mind/body/sanity just can’t take the sensory overload.

In all honesty, I have to admit I had a wonderful time being a chaperone for my youngest son’s 4th grade class. We traveled across the state to reach Mesa Verde National Park and visited the majestic cliff dwellings there. We hiked trails and climbed numerous ladders. We saw things that most people don’t get to see in their lifetimes. More importantly, my son and I had some quality time together. Although the bus ride was a long eight hours each way we had an experience we’ll never forget.

All in all, I’m happy I went. Of course I can say that now that we’re home and not on the crowded charter bus. Would I do it again? Hmm… I’m glad I don’t have to answer that until the next opportunity arises.

Here are a couple of pictures of the area. What do you think? Would you drive eight hours in a bus with forty children to see this?

Mesa Verde National Park – Cliff Palace

Pretty cool, huh? Not to mention the satisfaction of seeing my son’s smile light up over and over again. I’d say that, yeah, it was so worth it.

Viola

Viola Estrella, an award-nominated author and 2010 RITA® finalist, loves a story with humor, flawed characters, paranormal elements, and romance. She tries to include these aspects in all that she writes and loves every minute of it. When she’s not reading, writing, or watching her share of reality TV, she’s spending quality time with her husband and sons in their Colorado home.

To find out more, visit her website: www.violaestrella.com

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