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Archive for Humorous

The Pressure’s On

Monday, March 8th, 2010

I admit, albeit reluctantly, that I am one of those people who both freak and thrive on the deadline.

It’s funny because I always studied ahead of time in school, never left anything to the last minute etc so I can only assume this absurdity must have began with motherhood.

I guess it’s a by-product of  prioratizing and procrastination–oh, now doesn’t that make sense, just another puddle of pp to a mother LOL.

Still, when the crunch time comes, I might get a little rangy, a little excitable, and even a little short-tempered sometimes, but my family now simply rolls their eyes and shakes their heads in that tell-tale sigh of acceptance–>Mom’s a loon but we love her anyway.

And now, as the children are getting older, they know no different, this is nothing new to them and is, pretty much, routine.  Which sure helps those times when the crunch is on and supper ends up being a tuna sandwich instead of a roast or the light downstairs is on earlier in the morning than they are allowed to wake up LOL.

One other thing I like about crunch time–I don’t feel guilty taking time for me–as in the enjoyment of me time just to write.

And, as mothers and writers, we all know how rare that can be!

Hooking: It Ain’t Easy . . .

Friday, March 5th, 2010

. . . Hooking READERS, that is! (what did you think I meant?!) *wink wink*

The components of a romance novel are by no means static. Now days, heroes are more heroic and heroines are made of decidedly sterner stuff. Writing is more active and the love scenes are hot enough to singe a gal’s eyebrows.

Amdist all the evolution there is one factor that has remained the same . . . delivering up a hook strong enough to keep a reader coming back for more.

The question on every writer’s mind is: HOW?

During a recent trip to the grocery store (sans kids), I shimmied on over to the book rack to do a little “research”. The world was my oyster at this point! I didn’t have two kids squawking and squalling in a cart to rain on my parade.

I scanned the first pages of six Regency Historicals and was pleasantly surprised with the findings. Some relied on a clever situation to snare my attention while others used the “grab-ya-by-the *bleep*” kind of first line.

The one I bought? I couldn’t resist one of the intriguing first scenes. Although, I will say some of those hum-dinger lines were pretty hard to pass up! Easy to see why those gals get the big shopping money!

So, what’s the magic equation to writing a killer first line? Does such a thing exhist?

Maybe I’m not the one to answer that question. After all, I still believe there are little elves stuffed in a tree somewhere out making all those yummy chocolate covered cookies just for me! lol

I think if someone were to solve this age old riddle, they’d be ga-zillionaires. Bigger than Oprah. Seriously!

The bottom line is: Every writer should know what it is about their genre that appeals to the traget audience. The easiest way to do this is to read A LOT! Call it research, that’s what I do. Ha! If only learning about the Kreb’s Cycle and Glycolytic Pathways had been this fun!

Besides reading, a writer needs to make a diligent effort to spend the time with their booty planted in the chair! Learning craft is only half of the battle. Application is other.

The same principle applies to motherhood. Sure, I read every single pregnancy book in print, but no amount of research prepared me for a newborn who didn’t get the memo on how she was supposed to act. Confusing? Yes. Daunting? A little. Insurmountable? NO.

We’re moms! There isn’t much we can’t do. Shoot, just look at what a little “mommy-spit” on a Kleenex can do for a grubby face! After surviving motherhood, “hooking” can’t be all that hard! :)

What about you? What kind of “hooker” are you? Do you have any insight to share on how to snag a reader’s attention? Better yet, what snags your attention?

For more on Sarah Simas, check out her blog: The Lovestruck Novice and the get in on the round table discussion with her CP group: Friday Night Write

This Is Sure To BOWL You Over!

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I’ve never been a big fan of sports on TV. I just can’t seem to stay focused. Of course, I do enjoy oogling  the linemen and their snug-fitting britches. Wowza! Definitely a diet friendly slab of beef-steak! J

As much as I like “taking in the sights” of the Super Bowl, I typically pay more attention to the commercials. Hey, we’re a “here we are now, entertain us!” kind of nation. Be it Cindy Crawford in cut-offs at a soda machine, mono-syllable frogs, or a granny asking for her beef, we tune in and expect to laugh, smile, and maybe cry.

How does this apply to writing?

I’m so glad you asked!

Using our superior imaginations, *POOF!* the super manly Super Bowl is now a romance novel! The Saints and the Colts are the main characters. (I’ll let your team preference decide who the H/H are. *winkwink*) GMC? Duh! T-D, we want a touch down!

Secondary characters? Why, the COMMERCIALS, of course!

Think about it. The battle of wills between the opposing teams is what draws us to the lazy boy, but it’s the commercials that keep us entertained and engrossed during the downtime. The Super Bowl would not THE SUPER BOWL without the commercials! It’s like bread and butter, baby! They just go together! 

Same goes for a novel. It’s the secondary characters that provide things like comic relief and additional tension to a story.

Take for example, Gone With The Wind. The tempestuous Miss O’Hara would have been completely irredeemable without the gentle guidance and influence of Melanie Wilks. Genuine and selfless, Melanie’s character was the antithesis of Scarlett. Ms. Mitchell knew what she was doing. How many times did the devilish Mr. Butler use Miss Melanie to taunt Scarlett? Too many to count and each time he did- chaos ensued. A perfect point of contention to wiggle between the two main characters . . . and Melanie didn’t have to do anything in particular. She just had to BE Melanie!

Or what about Pride and Prejudiced? Would Ms. Austen’s tale be as intriguing and as legendary without the conflict Mr. Wickham, Lydia Bennet, Caroline Bingly, and Lousia Hurst added? Where would the all the pride and prejudice have stemmed from?

For all the Kenyon fans out there, would the Dark Hunter books be as magical without the character of Acheron? He is in every DH book, but never as the “main character”- not until he gets his own leading man role, almost thirteen books into the series!

We need these secondary characters to act as both buffers and catalysts to round out the edges our larger-than-life heroes and heroines leave behind. For all the non-Super Bowl watchers who are stuck watching the game (like me!), the commercials make the experience. A football game is just a bunch of men whacking the crap out of each for want of a stuffed lemon-shaped ball, but with hilarious and dazzling 30second bits of relief, the day doesn’t seem so tedious. Just like a book can have a pair of unlikely lovers duking it out, but they need something or someone to either drive them apart or meld ‘em together.

The moral of this story? Even a football game can become a writing lesson! Imagine that!

So, tell me, what’s the oddest thing you’ve ever applied an element of writing to?

(ps- I owe a huge thank you to my mother-in-law for inspiring the concept of this post! :) )

 To learn more about Sarah- swing by: The Lovestruck Novice  and her critique group’s blog, Friday Night Write.

Be sure to click on over to The Lovestruck Novice Feb. 10th to scope out the new series called, A NOVICE TO WATCH. Be the first to know some rising stars! The novice in question just happened to be a fellow newbie whose entry kicked my rear in the Southern Heat contest last year.

 

 

Taking the High Road??

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Rudeness. Negativity. Unprofessional behavior. Bitchiness. Jealousy. Whatever you want to call it—it’s everywhere.

 

You wave at the neighbor lady down the way and she gives you the evil eye. Again.

 

You’re driving down the highway, going the speed limit like a good girl, and some dude rides your bumper for half a mile, swerves around you, then gives you the bird as if YOU were the one being a complete nimrod.

 

You log onto Facebook, MySpace, insert-favorite-method-of-procrastination-here, and you notice that someone has left you a not-so-friendly comment for everyone to see.

 

One of the mom’s on the school’s PTO never returns a smile but doesn’t hesitate to drop her scrutinizing gaze to your sweatpants and sandals.

 

The server at the restaurant is flirting with the table of men and ignoring you and your hubby.

 

You just found out that your frenemy has been gossiping about you again.

 

Your least favorite relative just called to tell you how unimpressed they are with your life—with their witty, dry humor, of course. He/she’s just joking, don’t you know?

 

The list goes on and on. At times, it’s enough to make you want to cry/scream/punch a wall/honk your horn/curse/insert-means-of-expressing-hurt-or-anger-here. Dealing with negativity is frustrating and sometimes it can be overwhelming.

 

Can’t we all just get along? No?

 

Okay, maybe that’s too much to ask. I’ve learned rude behavior is a fact of life, whether it’s intentional or unintentional, we have to deal with it on a daily basis. It sucks, I know. Trust me. No two people are alike and we’re bound to clash once in a while. But something that I’m always mulling over is when is it appropriate to fight back and when should I take the higher road and let it go? Allow karma to catch up with the jerks or secretly wish for lightning to crash from the sky and reduce them to ashes? Or just shrug your shoulders and accept that certain people are the way they are for a reason.

 

Who knows? Maybe the woman who won’t return a smile doesn’t have the best life, therefore doesn’t have a reason to smile. Maybe the reason that neighbor lady is mad because your son rode his bike through her yard last summer. Hmm…

 

We all have our limits, exceptions, reasons, whatever. And I have absolutely no solution or sage advice to help us all get along. Sorry. I’ve always tried my best to take the higher road but there are times when you just can’t let it slide. Sometimes you have to fight back. For your honor and self-respect. One can only be pushed around so much, right?

 

I’d love to know how you deal with rudeness, bitchiness, gossip, negativity, and that guy who flips you off for driving the speed limit. Are you one to choose your battles wisely? Are you a kind of a pushover? Do you bite back? Do you put people “in their place”? Curse? Bow out gracefully? Do you take the higher road?

 

Or tell me a situation that made you want to punch a wall…or at least a pillow? I’m all ears.

 

Viola Estrella

www.violaestrella.com

 angelvindicated_cover1

 

 

Angel Vindicated

 

Nominated for a Cupid and Psyche Award from the Romance Studio for Paranormal Romance!

 

Now available in paperback and eBook!

 

Buy it online at Cerridwen Press or Barnes & Noble.

 

Also available for your Kindle or Nook.

Will The Real Joan Wilder, Please Stand Up?

Monday, January 25th, 2010

Remember Romancing The Stone? Shoot, who couldn’t?

I was too young to watch the flick when it debuted in 1984, but easily fell in love with block-buster a decade later. By that point in time, I had already been devouring romance novels by the bag full. So, it was no surprise that I loved every aspect of the storyline, especially the characters.

I wanted to be Joan Wilder.

She was a writer- kind of dorky, but sassy, too. And Jack T. Colton . . .  oh, my! Now, he was dreamy. Brave, adventurous, and devil-may-care, he made the perfect hero. I could watch this movie over and over again. (and have :) )

So, last week, during a particularly rainy and cold day, I popped in the DVD and got ready to be entertained. Instead, I found myself watching the movie through new eyes. Really seeing the elements of the story. 

A plot line with twists and turns? Check!

Well-developed characters with sound goals, motivations, and conflicts? A believable character arc? Check, Check!

I may have been watching a movie, but for once I was tuned into the framework of what made Romancing The Stonesuch a phenomenal movie. This was studying, but BETTER. Kind of like back in college when I would tape note cards with study questions to the individual milking stations. Wipe off a cow’s udder and read a question. Hook the cow up to the milk claw and read the answer. Of course, by the end of my shift the cards were completely dirty, but it was still studying made easy! Ok, so I was a bit of dork, but I did very well on tests considering by the time most students got to class, I’d been up since 2am studying. Ha!

It was fun and very enlightening to apply what I’ve been learning about craft and writing. (I’m just thankful I didn’t have to get covered in muck to do it!)

I’ve been actively pursing writing for just about a year and a half and never would I have thought there was so much that went to crafting a good story. In a way, I’ve had to attack the learning curve in pretty much the same fashion I did when chasing my degree. I was tenacious and very, very driven. It’s why almost 8 years later, I can still recall the percentages of how much water and solids make up milk. Or what the length of a pig’s pregnancy is. (It’s 87% water to 13% solids and 3months, 3weeks, and 3days, by the way. lol)

It’s kind of weird how things just slide into place and then smack us upside the head. I think one of the most important tidbits I’ve picked up about writing is to never EVER stop paying attention. Never stop learning. There is always room for improvement!

So,  the next time you need a slap shot to get your thinker-tinking, take a break and watch your favorite flick. You never know what you’ll walk away with.

What about you? Do you find ways to apply the cache of writing skills you’ve honed to everyday life? Better yet, how do you keep your passion for writing alive?

For more on Sarah Simas, check out her blog,  The Lovestruck Novice. Or Friday Night Write, a blog she shares with her critique group.

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