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Archive for Finding Balance

Mamas Focusing: Closing Up Shop

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

As most of you know, at the end of June 2010, MamaWriters logged their last blog, at least for now.

The blog had fabulous potential to support and touch many women, readers and writers alike, but its inherent specialness was also part of its fatality switch: all of us have jobs, kids, and a writing career we’re building.  None of us had the time to give the blog so it could fulfill its potential.

So, at least for now, we’re taking a respite.  Doing what we women/wives/moms/writers/readers tell each other to do all the time:

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Take care of yourself.

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Maybe you can do it all. But maybe not all at the same time.   And who knows, maybe you don’t even want to.

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Photo Courtesy of Photos8.com

Slow down.  The rush is in your mind.

Be flexible.

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Be willing to change.   The way it was isn’t the way it has to always be.

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Be willing to try.  If it’s not the right thing at the right time, you’ll know.

Photo courtesy Photos8.com

Photo Courtesy Photos8.com

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Get offline.  Go write.  Go for a walk.  Go play.

Photo Courtesy of Photos8.com

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Write more.  Your Muse might be lonely.

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Photo Courtesy of Photos8.com

Hug your kids and grandkids and husbands and partners–and dogs–more.

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Focus on the things you chose, rather than the things thrust upon you.

Photo courtesy of Photos8.com

Aim for Exceptional.  Don’t settle for mediocrity.

Be willing to do a couple things fabulously well, rather than a hundred things passably well.

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Photo courtesy of Photos8.com

Rest more.  Stop being willing to be exhausted by anything but your family and your calling.

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Your hair looks fine.  Find the fire in your belly.

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Curiosity and the Rose: Courtesy Photos8.com

Have more fun.

Smell more roses.

Read more.

Write more.

Love more.

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So, that’s what we’ll be doing.

In the meantime . . . the community features, accessible via the sidebar, and the MamaWriters Yahoo group, are all still active, if you want to check them out.  Click through the blogs, and use the tags, and find great ideas and maybe some rejuvenation, knowing their moms and writers are out there, doing what you’re doing or what you’ve done before.

Click through to any of the blog entries for more information on that particular MamaWriter, and information on how to contact her via her website.  I speak for all of us when I say, we’d love to have you drop us an email, or say ‘hi’ on Twitter or Facebook!

And keep your ears open: one day we might be back, in some different form, because who knows what the future holds?

But mostly, a big thank-you to all of you, the mama-writer-readers who put love at the center of your lives.

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Kris Kennedy writes sexy, adventure-filled medieval romances.  Come by the website and sign-up for the newsletter or just drop a line saying Hi!  Her most recent release, THE IRISH WARRIOR, won RWA’s® prestigious Golden Heart® Award for Best Historical Romance in 2008.  It released June, 2010.  Read a sexy excerpt here! Her next book, DEFIANT, releases from Pocket Books May 2011.

What I’ve Learned

Monday, June 28th, 2010

MamaWriters is coming to an end—for now. This is my very last post here and, as in life, if something I love ends—like a relaxing vacation that ends too quickly, a good friend who moves out of state or a brilliant book that leaves me wanting more—I try to look on the positive side, savor the memories, and remember all that I’ve gained from the experience. All that I’ve learned.

You might be wondering what the heck I could’ve learned from a blog written by a bunch of moms who just happen to be tackling one of the most difficult and challenging careers on the planet. From home!

Well, lemme just tell ya:

-Take care of yourself. You’ve earned it.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/09/put-on-your-mask-and-take-a-deep-breath/

-Sex is not a dirty word. http://mamawriters.com/2009/04/what-is-s-e-x/

-Mamahood is unpredictable but rewarding.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/mama-drama/

-Love comes from the most unexpected places. http://mamawriters.com/2010/02/my-valentine/

-Children follow our lead. http://mamawriters.com/2009/03/what-do-we-teach-our-kids-when-we/

-Feeling guilty? You’re not alone. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/guilt-mothers-hold-the-market/

-Treasure the milestones. http://mamawriters.com/2010/05/milestones/

-Help! We can’t do it all. http://mamawriters.com/2010/02/when-you-are-the-one-who-does-it-all/

-We most certainly can do it all. http://mamawriters.com/2009/10/finding-time-making-time/

-Sometimes humor is the best way to go. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/no-problem-a-day-in-the-life-of-a-mama-writer/

-Life is messy but oh-so good. http://mamawriters.com/2010/06/endings-and-beginnings-the-call-and-last-post-on-mamawriters/

-Our voices are unique. http://mamawriters.com/2009/02/finding-your-voice/

-To plot or to pants it? Every writer is different.  http://mamawriters.com/2009/08/plotters-vs-pantsers/

-Enjoy being a mom. The moments are priceless. http://mamawriters.com/2010/04/im-now-that-kind-of-mom/

Yep, I’m savoring these lessons and SO many more. What did you learn from the MamaWriters? Any favorite posts?

Viola Estrella – A proud mama and romance writer

www.violaestrella.com

Special Guest – Historical Romance Author Carrie Lofty

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

MamaWriters are excited to have special guest Carrie Lofty with us today.  Her debut book WHAT A SCOUNDREL WANTS came out late 2008, her second SCOUNDREL’S KISS released January ’10, and her latest, SONG OF SEDUCTION, just released this month from Carina Press.

Please help us welcome Carrie Lofty!

A Mama Writer’s Summer

As a child I remember eagerly counting down the days until summer vacation. Now, however, as a stay-at-home mom and professional author, I approach the long summer months with little eagerness. The adjustments I must make to my writing schedule are tremendous.

Please don’t get me wrong. I love my elementary-aged daughters desperately. If there was a way for them to be at home with me during the summer while I maintained my school-year writing pace, I’d be a happy camper.

Oh…speaking of camp!

For the fist time my daughters’ school is offering all-day summer camp. They’re excited because it means they’ll be doing themed courses on cooking, nature, running a lemonade stand, science, music, and drama. They’ll also get to spend more time with friends, because I’m generally pretty lousy at remembering to schedule non-school-related playdates.

Me? I’m excited for obvious reasons. I’m knee-deep in writing my next release from Carina Press, PORTRAIT OF SEDUCTION. In July I’ll be starting two new books: SHAMELESS, the Australian-set sequel to my upcoming Victorian romance, FLAWLESS, and MIDNIGHT, the second in the hot-n-dirty “Dark Age Dawning” trilogy of sexy apocalyptic shifter romances I’m co-writing with Ann Aguirre under the name Ellen Connor.

Less obvious reasons include keeping all of us from becoming complacent slobs. Camp will give us a reason to get up and out of the house each morning. Plus, I really love the hour after they first return home from school. They get to blather on about their days while I get to be a mommy–a mommy content in having accomplished (most of) what I’d wanted to do during their absence. Then we can hit the beach or walk to the playground.

Everyone wins!

I’ve learned that it’s all about balance, as is the case with most mommy-related issues. A bit of one-on-one time, a little structured learning and play, a few lazy hours of TV or Wii–the makings of an ideal summer. Now, rather than dreading the daily struggle between my professional obligations and spending quality time with my girls, I get to do both. That’s a summer vacation I can look forward to!

What are you doing this summer? Do you experience the same push-pull between your kids and your writing ambitions? How do you cope?

Just Another Lesson.

Friday, June 18th, 2010

As I sit down to think about writing my last blog for MamaWriters, my mind is a jumble of deadlines and things I need to do.  I mean, there’s always so much to do and so little of it stays done the way we want it to.    Some days it all seems a little overwhelming, doesn’t it?

There’s housework.  You clean the house and it’s all to be done over again the next day.  You wash the clothes just so your family can dirty them up again.  You shop for groceries and within a week, everything is gone [unless you have teenage boys.  Then you're looking at three days, tops]. 

There’s what goes into your writing career.  You find the perfect mix of personalities in a critique group and then life deals that group a hand of events that changes everything — from divorce to death to out of state  moves. 

 Finally, there’s your writing itself.  You struggle for months to write a book and then you have to revise what you’ve written.  And once you’ve done that, once you and your editor agree it’s exactly right, well, you have to start the process all over from the beginning and write another book!

That rare moment of  ‘done’ is gone and it’s time to move on.

The wonderful part is… moving on is a good thing!  It means you’ve accomplished something and now you get to accomplish something else.  And each of those accomplishments bring us new rewards and joys.

From the neverending housework I’ve learned that there are more important things than a clean house.  Yes, my fishtank CAN survive with only two good cleaning a year [directly after I meet my deadlines!].  Yes, grocery shopping can be a fun experience when it’s the only time this week [during the last month of deadline] I’ve been out of the house showered and dressed appropriately to be seen in public  [my apologies to any neighbors who've caught random glances of me in the unshowered/major slobbed-out state]. 

From the dissolution of my critique group I’ve learned that, once you find that special mix of personalities, no matter what happens, no matter how far away,  they’ll always be your friends and you are blessed for having them in your life.

From revising my books, I’ve learned to try to see things the way others see them instead of only looking out my own little window.  I’ve learned to look at my creative babies a little more objectively.  And I know the books have been made stronger as a result.

From starting the next book, I’ve learned that there’s always a whole, bright new world out there, just waiting for me to grab a piece of it for myself.  There is no limit on imagination or on dreams.

And from my time blogging with MamaWriters?

From this I learned there is a whole world of wonderfully talented and creative women [and men!] who share the same goals and dreams and challenges.  I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to get to know so many of you through this blog — so many I now think of as my friends.  It’s for this reason I’m pleased that the MamaWriters community will continue, even though the blog will stop for a while.

To all the MamaWriters whose paths I’ve crossed – may your children grown healthy and strong, may your writing flow [and sell!], and may all your dreams come true.  I’m truly honored to know you all!

~ Melissa

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MELISSA MAYHUE writes award-winning paranormal romance for Pocket Books, all set in an imaginary world of Faeries and Time Travel to the Highlands of  medieval Scotland. Her sixth book, A HIGHLANDER’S HOMECOMING, hit stores on January 26, 2010, with her seventh, HEALING THE HIGHLANDER slated for release March, 2011.

You can visit her on the web at: www.MelissaMayhue.com or come Twitter with her at www.Twitter.com/MelissaMayhue

 

 

 

 

 

 

Special Guest Author:  Judi Fennell – Hanging By My Fingertips

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

Today I’d like us all to welcome special guest author, Judi Fennell to Mama Writers!   Judi writes fabulous mer-man/mermaid romance and has a new genie series coming out!

Hanging By My Fingertips

       Ah, the life of a romance author. Always something new! Who’s going to steal state secrets? Who’s going to announce their secret baby? Who’s going to end up in bed with whom—

And who’s going to forget the end of the year picnic that they were supposed to bake ninety-six cupcakes for and only remember when their child says, “See you at the party this afternoon, Mom!” on their way out the door?

A romance author who’s also a mom, that’s who.

No, I haven’t forgotten the cupcakes (mainly because said child is old enough to bake and decorate them, thank goodness), but my house looks like a mess, clothes are only washed at the last possible moment, the dogs desperately need to go to the groomers, the cat who just turned one is still eating kitten chow because I have no time to get to the supermarket, the end of the school year is here so the kids need to be picked up at various times because, for some reason, the school district decided that they DON’T have to provide transportation for early dismissals during exams, dinner is a big question mark, and I just had to explain to hubs how to drop a pre-paid priority mail envelope in the mailbox in front of the post office. (“Is it local?” he asked. “It doesn’t matter—it’s pre-paid, pre-addressed, and all ready to go. Just drop it in the big blue box!”)

THAT is the life of a romance author who’s a mom.

Honestly, I don’t know how I do it. People ask me that all the time and I honestly don’t know. Sometimes I just don’t do it (see note about the laundry getting done at the last possible minute. I HIGHLY advise investing in another few packs of underwear for each person.) Sometimes I’m amazed that anything gets done at all.

Take now, for instance. I’m on deadline at the end of the month. The story has been kicking my butt because, for whatever reason, it wanted to be written episodically. I wrote the scenes as they came to me; now I have to tie them all together with transitions, making sure they A) go together, B) show the character arcs, C) are believable, and D) contain what readers expect from my writing, namely the world-building, snarky secondary characters, humor, and romance. And I have to get it to my critique partner by the weekend so she can work her magic over the next week so I can have four or five days to finesse it all into shape to give to my editor.

Normally, this is, well, not exactly a piece of (cup)cake, but a well-oiled machine, let’s say. Unfortunately, there have been a few bumps along the road in the past few months and my well-oiled machine needs a tune-up.

So I took it to the “garage.” For this, read “my local bookstore.” We just converted my dining room into my office (it gets much more use this way), with French doors and wonderful new furniture. It’s great. I have big windows, bird feeders just outside, the animals like to hang out with me… great.

Except everyone keeps walking in. Hello? Mom is at work??? What doesn’t make sense to them? The doors are closed, the earphones are in… what are you doing here?

So, off I go to the bookstore where no one bothers me and I’m surrounded by proof that this time crunch management can be done with successful results, and away my fingers fly on the keyboard.

That’s one of my coping mechanisms when things get hairy. Others are figured out on the fly.

So it was quite easy for me when I tossed Logan Hardington, the hero of my latest release, Catch of a Lifetime, a six-year-old son he never knew he had and watched him try to stay afloat. It was sink or swim time for the new father and if mermaid princess, Angel Tritone, hadn’t show up, I don’t know that he would have been as successful as he ultimately was. Though of course, there were some definite bumps along their road as well: namely a hammerhead named A.C. Hammer, a sea monstress with mothering issues, and the fact that all Logan wanted in his life was Normal and a mermaid princess was as far from Normal as he could get. Trust me, I ask myself a LOT what Normal is these days.

If anyone has the answer, I’d greatly appreciate hearing it!

About The Author:

Judi Fennell has had her nose in a book and her head in some celestial realm all her life, including those early years when her mom would exhort her to “get outside!” instead of watching Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie on television. So she did–right into Dad’s hammock with her Nancy Drew books.

These days she’s more likely to have her nose in her laptop and her head (and the rest of her body) at her favorite bookstore, but she’s still reading, whether it be her latest manuscript or friends’ books.

A three-time finalist in online contests, Judi has enjoyed the reader feedback she’s received and would love to hear what you think about her Mer series. Check out her website at www.JudiFennell.com for excerpts, reviews and fun pictures from reader and writer conferences, the chance to “dive in” to her stories, and a sneak preview for her upcoming Genie series.

 Fennell’s got detailed worldbuilding, creative secondary characters and an impressive use of mythology in this great read. While this title is part of a series, it works well as a stand-alone. Angel and Logan are both incredibly textured characters. -RT BookReview Magazine 4 Stars

“Judi Fennell has extraordinary imagination and has certainly used it in creating this exciting and colorful story. Her characters are wonderful.”  Fresh Fiction

“The best blend of both worlds. I… love each and every character in Catch of A Lifetime (and) found (it) well worth diving into.” Long And Short Reviews 4.5 Books 

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