The past three years have not been good for a number of our friends–well, I guess that depends on which one you ask LOL.
I think we are now up to four couples whose marriages have ended in the last three years. And I’m not talking the under five year percentage either. I’m talking the over 15 and close to twenty years married percentage. And we never saw any of them coming.
To be fair, we don’t live close to any but have been in constant contact and/or the occasional visits so no, we don’t know the day to day grind they went through, but still no mention during weekly telephone calls or anything.
The last one just happened a couple weeks ago and it still bothers me. I know things like this usually have a ‘build’ for quite awhile–that’s the part we don’t see but still, it makes you worried. Is Real romance still alive or does it fade out and fizzle as life progresses? Do we marry with the blind thought that yeah, I’d like to make babies with this guy for awhile or sure, she’ll do for now??
As writers, for the most part, we write about the new relationship, couples meeting for the first time or getting back together after long absences–the initial romance. Not many write about ten, twenty years down the line. Is that because the romance has worn off? Do children, a mortgage and society’s pressures kill the romance, that electrical start to a couple. Does it, for lack of a better word, really just fizzle out?
My husband and I are going on our 12th year of marriage and I’ll tell you right now, if he came up to me and said it was over, I would be totally blindsided. We’re not perfect, but still, we seem to work things out and accept each other for who we are etc etc etc. We have similiar thoughts and theories on raising our children, family etc and those haven’t changed (although I think this baseball season might affect that LOL as both boys are on house league and aiming for the rep league too, meaning most night this summer will be on a ball field)
I must say though, I’m not overly worried at the moment for me though, not when my husband comes up to me in the kitchen, turns me around, stares me straight in the eye and says, “I love you. No, I mean I really love you,” and gives me a big bear hug just before announcing the demise of the most recent friends’ marriage. I feel bad for them, I do, but I can’t help being thankful that romance, at least in my home, is still very much alive!