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Before Mama Was Mama . . . :: mamawriters.com
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Before Mama Was Mama . . .

Sorry for the delay in posting this morning.  After being up with a child who apparently had too much popcorn at our movie yesterday and decided it shouldn’t stay in his stomach, I’m running a bit behind.  :)

We talk a lot on this blog about what we write …and the inevitable day when our children will fully comprehend what that is.  Not just that Mama is sitting at her computer, typing on the buy cialis and viagra online keyboard — thankfully I am still in that stage with my four year old.  But the other day, I was listening to the radio (country music fan here) and heard the song ‘Before She Was Momma’ by Clay Walker.   Some of the song lyrics:

‘Bout ten years old, hide and seek
I found me in the closet
Ready or not I stumbled on
And opened up that box of
Yearbooks, letters, black and whites
A hundred, maybe more
Next thing I know my brothers and me
Got ‘em scattered on the floor (Yeah)

There was one of her, flippin’ the bird
Sittin’ on a Harley
And a few with some hairy hippie dude
Turns out his name was Charlie
Her hair, her clothes, her drinkin’ smokin’
Had us boys confused
I’ll never forget the day us nosey kids got introduced

To Mama, ‘fore she was Mama

I’m certain that ALL of us Mamas here have fond memories of the years before we were Mama and I thought that could be a fun way to spend today.   Before we were wives, before we were anything else but single, footloose and fancy free… what was your life like? How different from your life today?

My life today is completely different from what it was in the “Before Mama” years. (And yes, there are albums and pictures that I would be inclined to lock up so my son never sees them.)  In the “Before Wife” years, my best girlfriend and I were inseparable. (At one point in our lives, we were roommates who commuted to our respective jobs that were five minutes apart, who went to lunch together AND often when out five nights a week together.)  It’s amazing we never tired of each other or ran out of things to talk about…

But in my Before Mama, carefree years, we were constantly on the go.  Usually five nights a week, we were hanging out with friends, out to dinner, out dancing at our favorite spots.  We had the freedom to do what we wanted, when and go wherever the winds took us.  And we often did.   And the one constant, I think, from then to now, is that I was and remain a creature of habit.  When I find something I like or enjoy, I tend to stick with it.  When my hubby and I were in the “Pre-Child” days, we went out usually once or twice a week to a karaoke bar (love to sing, I admit it)… We knew everyone there, we went there for years…and even today, on the rare times we get out of the house, that’s usually our first choice for the evening.  There is something comforting about being somewhere where “everyone knows your name.”

That was often what my BFF and I did, as well.  We had a handful of places that we went to on a regular basis.  We knew the people who worked there, the people who hung out there, and we felt comfortable.  We felt safe. And on occasion, we did really stupid things.  That’s part of growing up, I think.  And today, when I have a chance for a girl’s night, sometimes we go dancing, sometimes we sit at home and watch a movie, and other times we go out to dinner and talk for hours.  Inevitably, we pull out the memory books in our heads and reminisce about those years.

And when we pull those memories out to think of “the good ol’ days”, I can look at them wistfully and still realize that the best years are now.  There are trade-offs in having children — you put a large part of yourself on hold, a large portion of your life on hold in order to be there and raise your little ones.  There will come a day soon enough when he stops wanting to spend time with us, so for now, I choose to cherish every single minute I have.  Things are definitely different in the “Mama” years than they were, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

What were your Before Mama years like? How were they different? How were they the same?

Comments

  1. Jeannie.
    As I always think whenever I read your stuff: we SO were supposed to live near each other, so we can hang. I actually don’t sing in public–it’s my gift to the world–but I certainly am a great cheer-er for my friends who do. :-)

    I agree, about things being different pre-mama, and even, sometimes, it’s hard not to think “better,” but that is a passing thing. I have given up a lot for our child, but it’s mostly partying and other things that, while fun enough, didn’t push me. Everything was pretty easy, and pretty self-centered and self-referencing, and it rarely tested me or my limits, and therefore didn’t make me grow.

    I’ve got a deeper reservoir now–or maybe I’ve just dug down deeper into the reservoir that was there all along.

    I’m also fatter now. Hmm… I’m deeper and fatter. Damn. That is one thing I definitely need to get back from pre-mama days. LOL

    • Kris, seriously, you and I ARE likethis with our posts, aren’t we? LOL You are absolutely right on the “self-focused” aspects of Pre-Mama life… but truthfully, I think that’s so important on the journey to becoming a Mama. We need that time, we need to be able to put ourselves ahead of everything else for a short while… I think for me, it helped me get to a place where I could set myself aside and focus on my son. Focus on my family ahead of everything.

      And honey, I feel ya on the deeper and fatter. *sigh* Maybe in addition to our “two hours a day” writing challenge, we also need a “get your butt out of that chair and walk a mile” challenge. LOL

  2. Jeannie! You’re gorgeous then and now… what a wonderful treat to have you groom our blog site, too…

    Before I was mama? I didn’t have this ridiculous groove between my eyebrows!!!!

    Seriously, we went wine tasting on weekends. We went out to movies, off to Vegas, to Hawaii, up to LA to movie premiers… we ate out at restaurants, fine dining, no less… *sigh*

    And I don’t think I had this frantic need to be perfect at everything…

    But now, life has an added dimension, a flavor of relearning and experiencing things I’ve not done or shared since I was a kid. I look forward to growing up with them, to sharing my favorite stories with them, and continuing to see the world in their eyes…

    Great post!

    • Ash~
      Oh, darn, you’ve reminded me of some of the things I *do* miss about pre-mommyhood. Lots of eating out, and spur-of-the-moment decisions to do things, big or little. Not that we can’t do that now, but it’s so much more work, sometimes it’s easier just to hang. And cheaper–LOL–which is another difference: we definitely had more cash. LOL

      I also used to love just sitting around on a rainy afternoon and saying, “Let’s just watch movies all day,” and then sitting together and vege-ing out.

      • (See, I’m replying to myself here, which is proof positive that *someone* is avoiding her manuscript)…

        The flipside being . . we just played Monopoly with our child last night. He landed on and bought one of the most expensive properties. When he saw how excited I was by the purchase, he handed me the deed and said “Would you like this Mommy?” :-)

        ‘Course, later, when I got a Community Chest-type card which allowed him to place my game piece anywhere he wanted, he put me in in jail, while laughing maniacally & jumping up and down. So I guess these are mixed blessings . ..

        • Kris, I love the Monopoly thing!

          Sort of goes along with watching my son “fly” in the movie theater as he watched the dragon and Hiccup (the boy). Moments like those… they are worth fifty years of dining out.

          Err, maybe forty. *wink*

      • Soooooooooo much cheaper. I swear by the time we calculate the cost of dinner, drinks and/or movie, and babysitter? *sigh*

        And even movies at home. I can’t remember the last time I was actually able to watch a movie all the way through without pausing. I have yet to see An Affair To Remember, and I saw a portion of it on TV the other day, so I’m dying to watch the whole thing… and yet, I so don’t want to be interrupted while doing so. LOL

        So many things we can miss about the carefree days… but I bet I’m not the only one who wouldn’t change a thing. :)

    • Aw, thanks, Ash. :)

      *sigh* Restaurants. Eating out… the days of not having to cook much at all, how I miss thee. LOL

      And movies!! Yesterday was the first movie at a theater I’ve seen in months. We took our son to see How To Train Your Dragon. (really cute, by the way)… but these days, movies wait until DVD. I do miss that. But hearing my son laugh and giggle in the movie…and watching him stand up in front of us and put his arms out like he was flying when he watched the boy flying with his dragon… it’s the best. There isn’t a feeling like it in the world.

  3. Ah, the good old days! My carefree days are so different from my life today in one respect . . . I never saw myself as a wife or a mama.

    Yep, I wanted to a career woman. Men were going to be my hobby. Then along came my hubby and *poof* I was seeing wedding bells. Funny how fate (and the right man) can twist our points of view.

    Ha! I have some of those “before” pics that will definitely be locked away and maybe one day burned. :) My wild and crazy friends and I have all settled down and started families. Three of us stay home, so we’re always chatting and the past is always worth a few laughs, especially our “bar days”.

    I sure miss sleeping in until 10am and having energy in spades. Sheesh! I’d settle for energy enough to get my lazy bones out of bed!

    I loved seeing your Mama Pics, Jeannie! What a hottie-with-a-naughty-body!! Looks like you were ready to go out on the hunt. Too cool!

    Two sick kids is NO fun, so thanks for making me smile!

    • Sarah, yes, we were headed out to trouble that night, that’s for sure. LOL That’s definitely a tame picture…the not-so-tame ones? Yeah, those aren’t going up on a blog. ;)

      Life can get in the way of your plans, can’t it? :) I think it’s easy to plot and plan our lives, according to the moment we’re living in, based on what we know. But then something happens — you meet the man who changes everything, you get a little pink stripe that once again changes EVERYTHING — and suddenly, everything you wanted shifts, morphs and does an Odo impression into something else. (Bonus points for anyone who gets that reference. lol)

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