Rudeness. Negativity. Unprofessional behavior. Bitchiness. Jealousy. Whatever you want to call it—it’s everywhere.
You wave at the neighbor lady down the way and she gives you the evil eye. Again.
You’re driving down the highway, going the speed limit like a good girl, and some dude rides your bumper for half a mile, swerves around you, then gives you the bird as if YOU were the one being a complete nimrod.
You log onto Facebook, MySpace, insert-favorite-method-of-procrastination-here, and you notice that someone has left you a not-so-friendly comment for everyone to see.
One of the mom’s on the school’s PTO never returns a smile but doesn’t hesitate to drop her scrutinizing gaze to your sweatpants and sandals.
The server at the restaurant is flirting with the table of men and ignoring you and your hubby.
You just found out that your frenemy has been gossiping about you again.
Your least favorite relative just called to tell you how unimpressed they are with your life—with their witty, dry humor, of course. He/she’s just joking, don’t you know?
The list goes on and on. At times, it’s enough to make you want to cry/scream/punch a wall/honk your horn/curse/insert-means-of-expressing-hurt-or-anger-here. Dealing with negativity is frustrating and sometimes it can be overwhelming.
Can’t we all just get along? No?
Okay, maybe that’s too much to ask. I’ve learned rude behavior is a fact of life, whether it’s intentional or unintentional, we have to deal with it on a daily basis. It sucks, I know. Trust me. No two people are alike and we’re bound to clash once in a while. But something that I’m always mulling over is when is it appropriate to fight back and when should I take the higher road and let it go? Allow karma to catch up with the jerks or secretly wish for lightning to crash from the sky and reduce them to ashes? Or just shrug your shoulders and accept that certain people are the way they are for a reason.
Who knows? Maybe the woman who won’t return a smile doesn’t have the best life, therefore doesn’t have a reason to smile. Maybe the reason that neighbor lady is mad because your son rode his bike through her yard last summer. Hmm…
We all have our limits, exceptions, reasons, whatever. And I have absolutely no solution or sage advice to help us all get along. Sorry. I’ve always tried my best to take the higher road but there are times when you just can’t let it slide. Sometimes you have to fight back. For your honor and self-respect. One can only be pushed around so much, right?
I’d love to know how you deal with rudeness, bitchiness, gossip, negativity, and that guy who flips you off for driving the speed limit. Are you one to choose your battles wisely? Are you a kind of a pushover? Do you bite back? Do you put people “in their place”? Curse? Bow out gracefully? Do you take the higher road?
Or tell me a situation that made you want to punch a wall…or at least a pillow? I’m all ears.
Viola Estrella
Angel Vindicated
Nominated for a Cupid and Psyche Award from the Romance Studio for Paranormal Romance!
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I used to fight back, but now I just curse loudly in my car on the way home. I used to write letters to the editor, flip off rude drivers, talk to the managers of bad service workers… :shrug: The last time I remember flipping the bird at a rude driver who cut me off, he got right in front of me and slammed on his brakes – on the freeway, at 65mph. Life’s too short. I don’t need it any shorter.
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi B.E.,
Road rage is so dangerous and some people are such idiots behind the wheel. You make an excellent point. When it comes to safety, it’s not worth the energy.
I’m not sure I’m a push-over, but I do tend to ignore rude behavoir.
I agree with BE, life is too short to waste your time with negative people.
Smile, if they don’t smile back, they could have a good reason… give them the benefit of the doubt and go on with your day.
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi Lynne,
I wouldn’t say you’re a push over either. I’d say you’re taking the high road. If you can ignore rude behavior then you’re a better person than most. It’s not an easy task!
Don’t sweat the small stuff, hon! Now if I could only take my own advice, lol. I do let things like that get to me sometimes, but I am getting better. Think of how unhappy those people must be, if their lives revolve around being rude to others. Rude people aren’t happy people, that’s a fact. When the situation warrants it, I will say something, but usually those people are better left alone to wallow in their miserable lives.
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi Helen!
You’re absolutely right. It’s kind of sad when you think about it, huh? Oh, geez, leave it to me to feel bad for someone who’s rude to me. Oy! Makes me want to give the PTO mom a big ole hug. LOL
I so understand what you are saying. Now I live in West Palm Beach, Florida and if I wave hello, people look at me as if I’m insane.
In rural North Carolina everyone waves to you. What the heck? Why do big towns harbor ruder people than rural areas?
As for me I have learned that the biggest gift I have is my smile and if I give it to someone they usually give one back. If not then run.
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi Mary,
That’s a good question. Could it be that people in densely populated areas are just more stressed out? Or maybe it’s the crime rate and the stranger danger aspect that keeps them guarded. Or maybe they’re just mean. LOL! I guess ya never know.
HI Viola,
In my younger years I always let it go. Now as menopause is setting in… I tend to fly off at rude people. I bite my tongue a lot though because it isn’t really in my nature to be mean, but if the moon is aligned just so, and the hormones are fluctuating… I can be a bit snarly and nasty.
Paty
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Oh, Paty, I’ll admit I’m a little bit, er…less patient, during certain days of the month. Sometimes it just can’t be helped.
Viola!!! (hugs!)
My dad used to tell me to “Be a duck and let it roll off my back.” LOL Well, I’ve never been able to do that. I really have to remind myself NOT to let other people’s action bother me. But it’s so hard to do!
My daughter goes to the local private school (hub’s family tradition. I’m a product of public school lol) and some of those mothers look like they stepped out of a magazine! Meanwhile, here is cheap a** me walking around in my tennis shoes, sweat pants, and a pony tail. LOL I don’t have anywhere to go after dropping her off- why would get glammed up? Ha! That’s probably why they don’t recognize me when I am made up! Too funny!
I just try to keep it all in perspective. Like you said, they look perfect, but I have no way of knowing if they’re life is truly as dreamy as they make it. seem. Heaven knows mine ain’t!!
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hugs back atcha, Sarah! I’ll take happy over perfect any day.
Deep down I believe everyone is kind and loving, but sometimes life circumstances get in the way. So when people are snappish or mean, I figure they’re dealing with pain of some kind. You never know what blows life has just given them, so I try to be extra gentle not to give them an extra knock.
You never know if that tailgater just got a call that his wife is dying and he’s rushing to the hospital, or if she’s late for work and has been warned she’ll lose her job if she’s late again. Of course, he could just be a Type-A personality and always in rush. But in that case, I don’t want to be responsible for him having a heart attack. If at all possible, I find a spot, pull over for a sec & let him/her pass. Then we both win. They get to zip along, & I can meander at my own speed. And we both have a better, happier day.
As for neighbors not responding to a smile, perhaps they don’t have their glasses on, or they just found out their spouse is cheating on them. You never know. As a writer, I can imagine so many scenarios for why people might be responding negatively that my usual response is to assume they’d be kind if they could. If they aren’t, then they probably need extra loving.
I used that philosophy to raise my kids too. On days when they were driving me up a wall, their “punishment” was extra hugs and kisses. Worked like a charm. Especially when they got older. They’d back away and say, “No, Mom, I don’t need a hug. I promise I’ll behave if you just leave me alone.” LOL
I usually take the high road (but secretly I steam about it the rest of the day). I try to remind myself that I feel sorry for that person; their personal problems must be so great that their only outlet is to be a #$@% towards me.
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Viola~
Oh, it’s really hard when that kind-of thing start piling up, isn’t it?
One thing i do is what Laurie said: imagine a reason some rude behavior MIGHT be understandable–racing to a doctor, spacing out, etc.
But I have to say, in a weird way, this conversation has actually helped me. I get so disheartened how rude and downright mean and brutal people can be online, and attribute much of that to the anonymity and ‘mask’ we all get to wear when using the internet. I get scared that we’re deteriorating. But this reminds me, no, really, there’s people who have always been like this, even face-to-face. LOL
I don’t know if it is the lower IQ for under 40 has or the short fuse on their temper but rudness happens every day. I usually just let them pass, ignore them and go on my way but may insert a word I should not use. I would blow my horn but I keep forgetting where it is. LOL.. Now with the above two classes come the cell phone and texting class. Even children know you don’t read, text or put on make up in car while driving. And we need these laws enforced every day. If you must use your cell to chat while driving in heavy traffic, changing lanes, turning in front of other cars, etc then have it attached to your car, hands free. This does not mean the person is paying close attention to what is going on around them as they are talking..I had a 29 yo guy come flying down road on left side chatting on cell as I am waiting to make left turn when he drifts over further to left and hits me. He was not wearing seatbelt because the nuts in GA say if you are in truck you don’t have to use them. That is crazy but that is law here from someone who knows.
Sorry, didn’t mean to get on my soap box. I have gotten where I hate to leave the house because of the nuts on the road. Thats my feelings.,LOL