Glad you’re home safe!

Thanks for being at Mama Writers today! I really enjoyed reading your post. I admire you for serving in the armed forces. Signing up to defend freedom is the ultimate act of altruism.

This mommy business is rough. lol I’ve got stashes of chocolate hidden all over the house. Some days, it feels like my brain is turning flips in my head. It’s pure insanity! That’s why I enjoy my RWA chapter meetings and my critique group so much. Ha! They are my ‘get out of jail free’ cards. It’s nice to get to chat with like-minded adults–key word ADULTS! LOL

I agree with Kris. Take some time for yourself. You’re definitely worth it!

Here’s wishing you all the best! I’ll be swinging by your blogs. Thanks again for all you do!

As for the “me” time — I think any mother can relate to what you feel as well as understanding perhaps a small bit, the guilt you feel, given your situation.

I loved your comment about the “new normal.” That’s true…it’s easy to compare our lives as they were before this, or before that… but also impossible to do so. Because “normal” is relative. Relative to our experiences, our emotions, the world around us. Your world has shifted so much – first by leaving for Iraq and then again by returning– all you can do is find the new normal and work from there. But don’t forget your “me” time… it’s necessary. It makes us better women, better moms and ultimately, that is better for our children.

Thank you for sharing with us today.

When you first have kids, the whole thing can hit like a ton of bricks, but after that, the parenting thing is more gradual. The changes in expectations as they grow, the development of patience, all that happens day-by-day.

To just dive into it as you’ve had to, and with *young* kids, is so, so hard. AND then there’s all the returning home adjustments in addition.

We talk a lot here about the experiences you mentioned: wanting time for yourself but feeling guilty;

comparisons to earlier/other times in your life, when you didn’t have kids underfoot;

the “it’s never enough” feeling;

the deep, desperate love for your kids, underlying and overlapping a deep sense of confusion and feeling overwhelmed by the task of somehow being a Good Mom.

I know for me, I often feel I should be doing something other than what I’m doing.

If I’m working, I feel like I should be doing the mom-thing, or something that benefits the entire household, like cooking dinner, cleaning.

But if I’m doing those things, I know it’s time I *could* be writing.

This balance has been hard for me to find, & it’s one that’s constantly shifting, based on the family’s needs. But what I’ve come to realize is that if I start to feel resentment, I’ve gone too far in one direction, and that is NOT good.

And definitely some of the ‘balance’ has to include time for ourselves. And NOT only at 5 in the morning!!!!

You go get a babysitter, girl, or join a gym with childcare, or set up a regular playdate, or something like that, and get some straight Mommy time. Go play!

That’s an important thing for our kids to witness too, right? We take time for ourselves, and teach our kids that we value ourselves.

And I think inherent in that is a lesson about believing in our kids, too. Believing in their ability to be okay while we’re strive to be a whole person, not just a mommy.

Thanks for being here, Jess!

(Wow, did I talk a lot.)

Thanks for sharing your story, and for having the courage to admit all the complicated feelings – including guilt – that moms have to struggle with. And on top of everything else, being a writer isn’t easy, either. Most people don’t get it – they think it’s a hobby or a diversion that can easily be put aside for “more important things.” But it’s part of who we are, and it makes us better wives, mothers, and friends because it fulfills an essential part of us.

Good luck, and thank you for your service to our country!

Thanks so much for visiting Mama Writers and a huge thanks for taking precious time out of your life to serve our country. I’m sure your children are proud. Come back soon!