Hey mamas, it’s rubber meets road time. I’m writing, and staying at home with the munchkins, scrabbling for time and missing my write goals left and right.
Remember when we opened up credit cards, willy nilly? Remember when the bills came, and the head scratching began–as we stared at the balance, wondering how we had 10 maxed out, $1,000 limit credit cards? A closet full of clothes that would be out of style in 6 months? A leased car? Does any of this sound familiar? or is it just me…
Of course, that was years ago. Pre hubby. Pre children. But that was my foundation. I laid that down, built “who I was” on that debt-mentality before I married Mr. Tight Wallet. Thank the LORD I did. He wrangled me in, made me think of the consequences of spending until I hate to say it, I’ve gone a little overboard the other way…
At any rate, SO, I was struck by an article the other day — and wrote a little rebuttal of things someone in New York decided they could live without. I found out a few things. One, we’re all facing the same stuff — we have to change the way we live our lives. We have to change the way we think. Otherwise, our kids will grow up as naive as we were, and they’ll end up making the same mistakes that we did.
The original article is linked here:
What do you really need?
You can link to what he said, in the original article above… but, this is stuff I can live without. How about you?
1. Monthly Payments: The only thing we’re paying off monthly, is the car. Poor hubby desperately needs a new one. Gotta wait!
2. Window Shopping: I disagree with this one. Window shopping has always been my thing. Ever since I married my DH – the act of buying hasn’t been nearly as much fun. After kids, it became an escape. Now – it’s due to abject terror of above “Monthly Payment.”
3. Bells & Whistles: Those of you who know me know that I have YET to get either a cell phone that can handle FaceBook, Twitter, etc. or an e-reader, even though I write e-books.
4. Clutter: Clutter patrol is a biggie over here. I lament the loss of my housekeeper as I scrub tile grout. I clean clutter, store it, file it, now that I have time at home. Writing, however, is suffering due to my sudden need to see the counter tops. Now, this is an idea I can learn from as soon as my edits are finished. Look for stuff sell online. I certainly buy enough looking for online deals!
5. Cable TV: This is one my hubby won’t budge on. We get DirectTV, and football, baseball packages are his getaway. Can’t ask him to cut back there unless I cut back on my hair. WON’T HAPPEN. See above, look for stuff to sell. Must pay for hair. That is all.
6. Home Phone: Point of current conversation. COULD we reduce our costs by getting rid of the $80 a month phone bill? Could I get a better cell phone with no home phone? Who actually calls us on the home phone anyway? Hmmm. If it could help hubby get baseball package, perhaps we’ll say bye bye to the land line…
7. Privacy: Angels and ministers of grace, defend us! Privacy isn’t one we’re ready to give up on. The worst case scenario would be we give up the house, put everything in storage or sell it (gulp!), and move to Arizona or Arkansas. Um. See again, gulp. God, help us. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE… we are sharing vacations with friends. Going to jam mountain cabins and beach condos with family and friends… I’m willing to sacrifice some privacy for some fun… DON’T Even want to think about the other. Yet.
8. Prepared Foods: On FaceBook the other day I made mention that I was going on strike to watch Julie and Julia. It renewed my faith in two things. Mommy Quiet Time and Cooking. I’ve been cooking ever since. I love to bake. I love to cook. Prepared foods are what Julia Childs fought against! So, yes, I’m up for this.
9. Tupperware Parties: WHO does this guy think he’s kidding? Home Parties have changed in SoCal. We’re having GOLD parties. Leaving with more money than we came with. I’ll be happy to host book exchanges, recipe/cooking parties, and things that aer otherwise constructive. Having home decorator and jewelry parties…it’s over. So 90s.
10. Packaged Cigarettes: Don’t Smoke. Hope you don’t, either! Wine – though. I’m always looking for an EXCELLENT, under 6.00 bottle. Will take suggestions.
11. Lattes: ONLY on very special occasions will I have a Latte. I’ve switched to Mistos when I have to meet a friend for coffee, once a week. We make sure we talk business, and save the receipt! Mistos at starbucks are steamed milk and coffee, and about $2 cheaper.
12. Guilt: His take was on guiltily purchasing the latest technology. ugh. iPad.I’m poning for one. (Daughter #1’s word for MUST HAVE NOW.) Yeah. I saw the iPad. It made me pone. I needed it yesterday. I longingly thought on it for most of the day. Then I got over it. For now. I’ve initiated the “Wait for 30-60-90 days” principle. The one I’m still using to NOT buy a Kindle.
Guilt is for the birds. Yes, my cell phone has been dropped more than even I care to mention. It’s chipped. Old. It doesn’t flip out a little keyboard. It has a double touch text – and I often I text unintelligible words instead of what I “MEANT” To say. However, I have a cheap plan through Tmobile. I’m PONING for an iPad… but, I have a Samsung Blast and the right to change my mind whenever I feel like it. And that equals bliss. For now. Really.
13. Extra Calories: SO, eating out — well, it’s only a once in a great while thing anyway. When DD#2 was young, she took off at The Outback Steakhouse, running free and wild around the entire restaurant screaming at the top of her lungs. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered from that yet, even though that was two years ago.
14. Newspapers & Magazines: Newspapers. Well, we did this. We canceled our subscription to the San Diego Union Tribune. Sorry, SD. We live just north of North County — so, there you go.
Magazines — this is a good one. My dad has been purchasing our favorite magazine (Sunset) as a Christmas gift for many years. We, in turn, give my mother Entertainment Magazine, and send Sunset on to my BFF up in Los Angeles. A cheap gift, but one that can be enjoyed all year long. I am allowed one family magazine – because I got in at the beginning and the price is negligible. I no longer buy magazines at the checkout lines, and since shopping’s at a stand still, there’s no more need for having THE LATEST FASHIONS. I’d rather save $$ and have my hair done.
15. Healthcare: Okay. Here we go. We have what’s called a “Health Savings Account.” It’s a bank account with an auto-payment to potential future medical expenses. We know we’re in for a health-care change in April, when severance is over, and Cobra begins. It’s an unknown. We have a higher deductible, but health is important. It’s all you’ve got. Even the old saying, “Well, you’ve still got your health!” — so remember, don’t skimp on your body. It’s your temple. It’s all you came into this world with. That’s all I’m sayin’.
16. New Gifts: Well, this is one I haven’t heard from before. Haul stuff out of the re-gifting closet and have a re-gifting party. Hmm. I think I might have to try this one out and let you know how it goes…
17. New Cars: I mentioned this already. Yeah. No budget = no new truck for hubby this year. Sorry, sweetie. Looks like the Ford F150 will see 100k after all. Keep oil in it. Next.
Wall Post 
Loading ...
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Ash~
Hmmm, do you live at my house in a little mousehole somewhere?
I feel much the same about expenses. Hubby won’t budge on cable, & I keep rethinking landline phone, b/c we never use it. But then, our electric goes out all the time, when we need our landline . . .and there’s faxes . . . (just got a copier that faxes. First copier in 10 years!)
Our cars were 15 years old and 20 years old, until the 15 y.o. car quit on me, so we got a new-used car about a year ago. But I sure miss not having monthly payments!
I think writing actually helps me with this. I spend way more time writing than seeing things I need / want, as I would if I were actually out in the world, interacting with real people. LOL
The downside of the computer is the internet. It is just a huge shopping market. Ads everywhere, and you can buy anything, anytime.
Interesting thoughts! So many people are rethinking basic concepts, such as what they really ‘need.’ It’s a good development, even if it had to be spurred by hard times.
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
I keep thinking about the depression mentality of my grandmothers — one had a box of cash stashed in a drawer. The other had balls of aluminum foil, rubber bands, saved every inch of tissue paper and had a dozen uses of everything.
We were brought up in a throw away culture (here comes the anthropologist in me!) It’ll be interesting to see what our kids take away from this.
At the bottom of it all, is the writing dream The goals of treating every word I write as a business. I’ve gotten out of that mind set and am ready to get back to it.
Do I need it? Have to have it? Just like seeing the next title on the shelf… hmmm speaking of… back to edits!
Thanks for dropping by today!
Ash
Excellent post Ash!
We don’t have a landline. We had one, but like you said, no one ever called us on it, so we got rid of it. Thing is now… my Ash is calling all her friends, and her friends are calling her on my cell. I pay for a decent package though so my minutes haven’t gone over.
As for a new cell, I get one every two years, but its paid for by the cell company because I always sign another 2 year contract.
We just finished up our last car payment last month, and we’re hoping to make it another couple years before we have to buy a new one. But one of mine is almost at 100K and the other is 130K… hopefully they’ll last!
I do a lot of “window” shopping online. I save things to wish lists. I was telling Carrie yesterday I ask for Starbucks cards for presents
That way my lattes are paid for most of the time, lol.
Having the new baby has stopped us from eating out so much. We get carryout about once every week or two though, which we could cut down on, but neither hubby nor I want to cook on Friday nights…. We did cut back a lot by me making him lunches.
We also used to buy movies a lot. Now we rent them.
Great way to get me thinking! Thanks!
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
Eliza
I think having babies at home is a great way of looking at what we want/need. We have a bit more freedom now, and again — I’m away from the computer more, and thus, my writing time needs to be much more regimented.
THAT’S another reason in favor of the iPad. Oh, no.
*snicker*
I’m going to figure out how to budget for one, and hopefully get the 2nd generation, when they add a camera.
I live in my head and my imagination. I’m definitely going to organize a “Re-Gift bonanza” party, though. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for stopping by!
Ash
My wife was laid off from her well-paying job over five years ago. She started a business that was just beginning to make money when health problems intruded and made it impossible to continue. Since then, she’s found the time to return to her writing with a vengeance. Still unpublished, she’s writing every day and submitting regularly.
A decrease in income certainly forced us to face choices about what we really needed, and what was just fluff. We’ve managed to survive those challenges while maintaining our sanity (more or less). The vehicles will never look forward to a ten-year anniversary again, and we won’t be taking that cruise in the Caribbean, at least not this year. However, that said, we’re still able to tithe to our church, give over and above that to other worthy causes, and still smile more often than not at the end of the day.
Needs are funny things. When you’re pushed hard against the wall, you get a certain clarity about what you truly need, and what isn’t actually necessary. So many of our needs are intangible, priceless things — a good evening with friends, potluck dinners at home, a special date night, a walk through a local art museum. They’re best with people you love, friends you cherish.
Hard times give us this push against the wall. I’m not sure that it’s not a real blessing, if you’re prepared to act on it.
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
Den,
I love this comment. You’ve captured so much here. Hard times are often remembered as the best times. When we pull together what otherwise might fly apart.
Our families are, after all, what really matters in this life. Everything else is just gravy.
My parents — married 49 years this November — always had a saying: “Sometimes life is thick, and sometimes it’s thin.” During the lean years, they used to joke about searching the mail every day for The Check — and they still sign anniversary, birthday & valentine cards “Looking forward to our THICK!”
I think they’ve always had it. With a love that’s lasted so long, and is stronger now then ever before. They certainly have given us a strong example of what to strive for.
So, yes, the little things — pot lucking, neighborhood parties, sharing play dates & even chatting over the globe on sites like this one. Thanks for stopping by.
~Ashley
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi Ashley,
Great post! We’re a family of six so we definitely feel the crunch. I loved your thoughts. I don’t have internet on my phone, either, so I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one. LOL
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
I often send people unintelligible texts – it’s a curse. Or a blessing. Lord, if my hubby told me we had to go back to dial up I’m not sure what I’d do.
Personally – I like going back to more simplicity. It’s freeing, in a way. Keeping up with the Jone’ses has become FAR easier!
We all sit, waiting for our next book contract – and truth, publishing is a SLOW business. But, it helps us hone our craft.
Another thing the girls and I have been doing a lot is going to the library, and reading books from my old stacks of YA from the box in the garage. Right now, we’re reading LITTLE HOUSE IN THE BIG WOODS. Loving every minute of it, all over again!
thanks for stopping by!
~Ash
HI Ashley!
Sorry, I’m late. *sigh* C’est la vie!
I’ve always been a spend thrift. I think it comes from having an accountant for a father.
When I quit my very well-paid job to stay home, I alternated cloth diapers and disposable. I nursed and made my own baby-food.
Now, that my kids are a little older, we’re paying for private pre-K for my daughter and speech therapy lessons for my son. I stopped getting my hair colored when my daughter was born. I never shop for myself- as far as clothes. A book or two, I will splunge on. Most of my kid’s clothes came as hand-me-downs ( courtesy of a hub’s big portuguese family lol) and we don’t travel. I think the last big trip we went on was Disneyland back in 08.
My cell phone is over two years old and is a %$#@ to text on, but I REFUSE to pay $30 more for the internet. What a rip off!
What’s funny is, I’ve always been this way. I detest bills and interest rates- if I can’t pay cash, then it can wait. LOL Am I as bad as your hubs or worse? I used to embarass the heck out of my hubs when we were first married by adding everything we put into the grocery cart on a calculator. If I went over budget- stuff came out. Poor guy, he’s gotten used to it now LOL only took 10yrs!!