As any MamaWriter knows, “Balance” can sometimes be a four-letter word. So today, we’re pleased to welcome our special guest, Diane Lang, to talk about creating balance in your life. Welcome, Linda!
Balance: A strong sense of self, identity and stability. This includes a strong foundation ( health, savings account, support system, etc) that allows you to take chances and be the best person you can be. We will never be completely balanced but we can live a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally. Having a good foundation and sense of self will give you the tools to handle the most stressful of days.
1. Control – Take control and learn when it’s ok to release some of your control to others. Ask for help.
2. Gratitude – At least twice a day say “Thanks” for what you have by thinking about what you have. We have more then we think. What makes us truly happy – Socializing, family and passion. There is a myth that money makes you happy. There is very little truth in that statement. What really makes us happy is strong relationships, socialization and a support system. The happier we are, the more creative we are.
3. Positive – Being positive or negative is contagious. Make sure to be optimistic – it makes for a healthier lifestyle. It also helps us be physically healthy. Smiling and laughter is proven to make us happier and healthy.
Do an emotional detox – who is toxic in your life?
Try to surround yourself with positive people. If you are constantly surronded by negative people, how can you grow and be the creative person you want to be.
4. Purpose – To feel complete and well balanced we need to have a purpose. What is your purpose? Become self-aware.
5. Strengths – focus on strengths and forget your weaknesses – If you focus on weakness you will feel empty, insecure and depressed. Figure out your strengths and focus on them. Become self-aware of what your good at. Write a list of your top 10 strengths and look at them everyday. Remind yourself – who you are and what your good at. This is learned – Follow this rule for your children. Don’t focus and constantly point out their flaws and weaknesses. What is your child good at – praise them – Positive reinforcement for you and your child. Be a good role model. Children follow our behaviors. How do you behave?
6. Help others – constantly “Pay it Forward”. Altruism makes us happy.
7. Be realistic – what can I do NOW? What action can I take at this very moment to make a positive change in my life? This should be done everyday. This is an ACTION- what ACTION can I take today, tomorrow and everyday after?
8. Failure – Use your failure as motivation. Answer this question:
What has failure taught you?
Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Learn from it and move forward.
Break a habit – it takes about 30 days to form or break a habit.
Ways to change:
What are your goals?
What Action can you take both Short Term & long term ?
Continue for about a month until it becomes a habit
9. Forgiveness – Have you forgiven yourself for not being Perfect? We are our worst critics.
10. Self – care – Be self focused. Selfish is not a bad word. If we don’t nurture ourselves, we won’t be happy and healthy. How can we be good parents this way? As women/moms, we tend nurture everyone others and always put others first. It’s good to help others but that includes taking care of yourself.
Learn to say NO! We are often unbalanced because we take on more then we could handle. If we learned to say no and not overload ourselves and our schedule – we would feel less stressed and more balanced. This includes asking for help!
12. Creativity/variety – If we don’t have both we become bored, stale and unhappy. We don’t grow. This includes taking risks – the most successful people are high risk takers.
13. Self – confidence – Be confident – you will be a great role model. A lot of people agreed they might not of been the most balanced But they were happy because they have a strong sense of self and know who they are ( passion). Balance is about being secure with YOU and making good choices.
When you are confident- you realize that there will be solutions to your problems, that you can handle a crazy day and everything will be just fine
14. Perception – how do you perceive your life? However you feel about this world, people and life is the way it will be.
Example: If you perceive everything and everyone around you as bad, then life will feel that way. You won’t be happy and you will feel life isn’t good. The opposite is true. If you feel that everyone means well and wants others to be happy and that life is basically good then that’s how life will feel. Your life is in your control – how do you perceive your life?
WHAT YOU THINK = FEEL = BELIEVE = WHO YOU ARE!
About Diane Lang ― Therapist, Educator and Life Coach
Therapist, Educator and Life Coach Diane Lang has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally. A therapist and educator of Positive Psychology, she has seen that it can provide a strong foundation for finding great happiness and is gratified that it is becoming a mainstream method of treatment.
A parent herself, Lang has taught Positive Parenting to parents and written extensively on the benefits of using it with even the youngest children. She has also spoken or conducted seminars on postpartum depression, striving for balance versus having it all and practical tips on interviewing, networking and dressing for success and is the author of “Baby Steps: the Path from Motherhood to Career.”
A therapist at the Universal Institute in Livingston, NJ Lang counsels patients with traumatic brain injury and substance abuse. Her clinical experience includes treating patients with different forms of mental illness, physical and emotional abuse and relationship issues. Lang is also an Adjunct Professor in Psychology at Montclair State University and Centenary College; her college work includes mentoring students for individual career counseling and personal issue advisement.
As an expert in her fields of therapy, Lang has been featured in the Daily Record and Cookie Magazine, seen on NJ 12 TV and the national television program “Fox & Friends”. She has also participated in a reality based Internet show, ourprisoner.com, hosted Generation X-tinet and appeared in various educational videos. In addition Lang writes a bi-weekly column “The Working Mom” at Mommytalk.com and sharing her expertise on parenting on The WTBQ Expat Show.
Lang has an M.A. in Counseling and a B.A. in Liberal Arts from the New York Institute of Technology. Please visit her website for more information: www.dlcounseling.com or her blog: www.myhappyblog.vox.com