I know what you’re thinking. What on earth does that headline mean?
I recently flew to my hometown on Frontier Airlines. Frontier, believe it or not, still has the flight attendants doing the whole oxygen mask demonstration, at least on this particular aircraft. I usually fly United, and they have it all televised on their monitors.
Anyway, I got to thinking about those oxygen masks. You’ve all heard the drill. If you’re traveling with small children, secure your own mask first before helping your child with his mask.
These instructions no doubt make all mothers wince. What? Take care of myself before I take care of my child? Who could think of such a thing? That’s bad mothering!
But there’s method to this madness. Without oxygen flowing into our own bodies, we’re pretty limited as to what we can accomplish. In short, to help our children breathe, we must first be breathing ourselves.
This is my round about way of encouraging all you Mama Writers out there to take a little time for yourselves. If your needs are met, you’ll be better able to meet the needs of your children, and your mind will be freer to flow with the creative energy your writing requires. I’m not suggesting months of globe trotting, of course. Most mothers, myself included, couldn’t bear to leave their children for such a long period. But an afternoon at the spa with the girls, an evening out with hubby, or even just a relaxing bubble bath will do wonders for your psyche. And you know what? Your babies and your WIPs will still be there when you return.
So go ahead. Strap on that mask and take a long, sweet breath of oxygen. You’ve earned it.
Helen Hardt is an attorney and stay-at-home mom turned award-winning romance author. She met her real-life hero in law school, and they live in Colorado with their two teenage sons. Helen writes contemporary, historical, paranormal, and erotic romance for Ellora’s Cave, The Wild Rose Press, and Aspen Mountain Press. Her non-writing interests include Harley rides with her husband, attending her sons’ sports and music performances, traveling, and Taekwondo (she’s a blackbelt.) Visit Helen at www.helenhardt.com and www.helensheroes.blogspot.com.




Wise advice. I’ve read that you actually have about 10 seconds to put your oxygen mask on before you pass out – scary to think about! Fortunately, as a mama at home, you have more than 10 seconds (most days!) – but it’s a good way to look at taking care of yourself.
It is scary, Ginny. We can’t help our child with his mask if we’re struggling for breath. Taking care of ourselves is so important. Speaking of which, I need to exercise
. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Helen!
Scary but great post. I can understand your analogy. Staying home with my kids makes me feel like I’m in a constant tail spin. . . a lot! LOL
Yesterday, I was trying to get my housework done and couldn’t decide what was more stressful: working 12hrs in my in old job as a foreman in a QC Lab or trying to be productive while chasing a 2 y.o little boy. By noon (time to go be his big sissy), I was BEAT!
Could I get some of that oxygen, please??? LOL I’ll even take it in CO2 form-aka a glass of anything with bubbles!
Yes, Sarah, you can have some oxygen, LOL. I well remember the toddler years… It is more difficult to take the time you need when your babes are little, which makes it all the more important. Snuggle with a good book while they’re napping. I used to love that!
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
Helen,
What a wonderful way of putting it. A long, slow breath of oxygen.
You know, deep breathing in itself is a wonderful way of cleansing the mind, body, and spirit.
So many of us walk around, breathing shallow, and not even realizing it. We run around, doing for others, making sure we’re at pick up and drop offs on time… frustrated with the little things–clothes on the floor, toothpaste in the sink, homework unfinished… we forget that these little people depend on us for everything… or is that just me?
I’m gonna do my best to consciously breathe deep today. Thanks for the reminder.
~Ash
Ashley, you make a great point — just deep breathing itself can be very cleansing and relaxing. A few minutes of deep breathing does make the small things seem less significant. Which, of course, they are
. Thanks for commenting!
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Helen~
I always think the same thing! My immediate, visceral response is always, “Yea RIGHT.” But then I realize it’s gotta be that way. You have to be there to provide for your child. Oxygen in your body, good energy in your heart. If we’re always giving, we start to get depleted.
Nice analogy! Thanks.
Thank you, Kris!
Great post, Helen, and a good analogy to remind us that we can only keeping giving if we have something left to give…which means it really IS important to do something for US once in a while!
~ Melissa
Thanks for coming by, Melissa!
Even though I’m not a mom, I’ve heard that advice. Must be hard to think of yourself before your child, but it’s so true. Without taking care of you, there’s nothing left for them. Great post!
It’s true for everyone, Cari, not just moms and not just writers. Glad to see you!
Great post, Helen. Thanks for the reminder, we must help ourselves before we can help our children. I wish someone had given me that advice when I was a stay-at-home mother some 20 yrs ago!
Amber, great to see you! It’s never too late to take some time for yourself
.
Good post. It hard to take care of yourself first but sometime we have to.
lorettaC,
lbcanton@verizon.net
You’re absolutely right, Loretta!
Great advice, Helen! I love that analogy. Makes perfect sense when you put it that way.
Glad you liked the post, Lia!
Great advice. I’ll be sure to take it if I ever have kids. LOL
LOL — you can take the advice now, hon! Go do something for yourself. You deserve it!
Your post, Helen, has hit home.
)
I have four young children and I homeschool, I do not find much time outside of my schedule for me. Infact, I always find myself last on the list of people I need to tend to. I often (when I say the I mean almost daily) find myself at 2 in the afternoon starving because I forgot to eat my breakfast. I have even gone to order some take out for the family and returned home without my order because I was so involved with getting everyone elses food. (DH promptly went back and got me my favorite dish upon learning I had forgotten my order
Don’t ask me how I get my writing done!!!
Talina, we’ve all been in your shoes
. That’s why it’s so important to find time for ourselves.
Helen you are one fantastic writer.
I don’t know how those of you with children have the time to write at all. You guys amaze me with all you can accomplish.
I have a hard time and I only have one grown child my DH.
Mary, you never fail to make me smile! Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Helen, what a great blog. And you’re sooo right. Well, I must confess to being an empty-nester with a grandbaby (the new love of my life!) but yes, yo mamas, we gotta take time for ourselves. This past weekend, my hubby got me four tickets to take my closest pals to the Hollywood Bowl for the Sound of Music sing-along. Oh it wasn’t lame at all, but unbearably uplifting and cool. Picnic supper, tons of wine. Ya baby.
Now it’s on to my edits, being all refreshed and invigorated and all.
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
Hi Helen! Such great advice… and it’s true. I always find that when I haven’t taken a little piece of time for myself (and this is down time, pure, completely down time…) I can get cranky. LOL With everything — my son, my hubby, my work, my writing…
Sometimes, taking a break is exactly what you need. And mamas get so few breaks…you have to force yourself at times. You’ll be better for it, all around.
I’m not a mother, but that bit of the flight demonstration always made me wonder. It makes sense though.
Great advice. I think everyone needs to take time out from their busy lives for themselves. It makes us more balanced or me anyway!!
Helen that’s great advice. You’re right I’ve never thought of me first just my instinct to take care of the kids. Thanks for the great advice.
I agree 100% with this… and I always forget to practice it. Sigh. It’s great advice!
Helen,
What a great analogy!! You’re so right. We all need time for ourselves. Thanks for making us realize how important this time is for moms.
Hugs,
Renee
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