MamaWriters extends a hearty welcome to our Special Guest today, author Jami Alden.

Jami began focusing on her writing career in 2001 and currently lives in a rural-ish town outside of San Francisco with (and I quote from her website) “a socially well adjusted alpha male” husband, two children and two dogs (not to mention bunnies and deer in her backyard).  She has graced the cover of RT Book Review magazine, along with BFFs Bella Andre and Monica McCarty and her book PRIVATE PARTY was chosen as a Hot Read in the November issue of Cosmo. She is, as she says, “living the dream of getting paid to write romance.”

How old are your kid(s), and how many do you have?

I have 2 boys, ages 2 and 4

How do you schedule yourself, and fit writing into your life, with kids?

It’s not easy! But from the very beginning, I’ve scheduled in writing time.  I had been writing full time for about 2 years but still hadn’t sold when I got pregnant with my first son.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after he was born – how could I justify spending money on a babysitter when I wasn’t making any income? Luckily, I sold my first book when my oldest was 2 months old, so from the very beginning I hired a babysitter so I could fit in writing time.  Now I have childcare three days a week, and for now it’s enough for me to get my work done.

How is your house set up (or not!) for being a writer and a mom?

It’s a great house, but the only thing I wish for is an office with a door! My office is open to the living room, so I can hear all the noise, so it can be hard to concentrate. As a a result, I started taking my oldest son to daycare out of the house when he was 14 months old.  Before that I could make do having him home with a babysitter, but once he could walk and realized I was still in the house, there was no getting away from him!

Was there ever a moment you ‘knew’ you couldn’t do, it, couldn’t be a successful writer and a mom?  (Which of course, you could, since you ARE. 

Oh, wow, did I ever have those moments the first year after I had my second. I was on a deadline, writing my first attempt at romantic suspense, and I had to get back to work when the baby was only 6 weeks old.  Then I faced extensive revisions on that book and was completely stressed out.  I had to increase my child care to four days a week, and was freaking out about the book when I was with the kids. I felt so guilty, feeling like I was shortchanging the baby when his brother had had so much more time at home with me, and still not sure how to fix that damn book!  I was trying so hard to be both a mother and a writer, and not doing well at either.  And I still have those moments. When I get stressed about work, I’m less patient with everything life, including the kids, then I feel guilty for being short with them.  So now I try very hard to compartmentalize – when I’m with the kids, I’m Mommy, playing in the park, going on playdates, swimming, whatever.  And when the kids are in daycare or at school, I’m working.

On the other end of that continuum, was there a moment when you KNEW you could do it, combine being a mom and a writer?

I don’t know that I’ve ever had the perfect “Light” moment, but I do know that the work brings a good balance to my life.  I feel very fortunate to have a career that I can choose not to do full time, and on the flip side I love having something completely separate from my role as a parent.   I have several friends who quit working once they had kids, who now don’t know how to begin trying to get back to work if they want to.  I feel really lucky that I don’t have to face that.

Have you ever had any interesting conversations with your kid(s) about your writing?  Your covers?

They’re still too young to really get what Mommy does, but my older son finally gets that I write books.  When I get my author copies, he wants to open the boxes and I explain that those are copies of a book that I wrote. The other day we were at the library and he picked a book up off the shelf and said, “Look Mommy, it’s a book like what you write!”

Are you /  were you ever a stay-at-home writing mom?  If so, have you ever been the recipient of the attitude of, “Well, you’re home anyhow, can’t just clean the house/do the laundry/scrub the bathrooms/ drop the dry cleaning off/etc etc”   (As if you’re not!)

I’m sort of a stay at home working mom, and I definitely get some of that.  But I’ve always been pretty firm about my work days and hours, so most of my family and friends know not to ask me for favors certain hours and certain days, or know that I might not pick up the phone on a Wednesday afternoon.

What do you think you’re teaching your child(ren) by being an author, and writing for (at least partly) for a living?

For now, I hope I’m teaching them a love of books and reading.  They’re too young to understand now, but I hope when they’re older they’ll see the value in chasing their dreams, in pursuing the things they’re passionate about, and working hard even when it feels like the obstacles in their paths are insurmountable.

Have you ever received negative feedback from others about what you do (write romance), as a mom?

Luckily, not really. I do get a few raised eyebrows when I tell the other preschool moms what I do, but so far, the ones who’ve gone out and read my books have been very complimentary.

If you could go back and do something different about how you handled the mom/writing combo, what might it be?

I still feel like I’m in the thick of it, making adjustments every minute, but I don’t know that I would do anything different.

What’s one thing being a published author has taught you, that you can use in your parenting too?  Or vice versa?

Both roles require an incredible amount of patience and resiliency, and I’m still short on both   I guess what they’ve both taught me is that I can do all the reading, attend all the classes, and ask all the “experts” I want, but at the end of the day a lot of being a good parent and a good writer comes from trusting my instincts.  You have to know what’s important to you and what works for you, both in how you approach  your books and your kids.

What’s your dream ‘come-back’ to one of the common attitudes/statements about being a work-from-home-mom &/or a romance writer/reader?

Luckily, the most common response when I tell people what I do is, “That’s so cool!”  But occasionally I get the boneheaded response, like when my friend’s dad  said, upon hearing the news I’d made my first sale, “Oh, it’s one of those silly books.” I responded, “Well, it didn’t feel silly for the nine months I spent working my ass off writing it!”

What’s your favorite “I’m on a roll-or-on-a-deadline” dinner plan?

I’m a big fan of my slow cooker.  Plug it in in the morning and it’s ready at dinner time! I also make big portions so we can eat leftovers at least once a week.

Your kids are all in bed, remarkably you’ve just checked off the last item on your “To Do List,” what do you do now?

Pour myself a glass of red wine, pull out whatever book I’m reading, and check what’s on my Tivo list.

What is one simple thing you think almost every mom/writer can do TODAY to help her be more successful?

Set a schedule and stick to it as best you can.  Of course life with kids always gets in the way, but if you can make everyone – spouses, kids, friends – clear on what your writing commitments entail, they’ll bug you a little less when you’re trying to get your work done.

So, seriously, do you sleep?

Yeah, pretty well most nights I’m lucky – both my boys have been very good sleepers from very early on. With a little encouragement, they slept through the night starting at three months old, and barring illness or the random bad dream, still sleep great.

If you overheard your kids talking to their friends (accidentally, of course), what would you like to hear them say about you?

That I’m funny and nice and don’t yell too much

True or False:  Dreams do come true?  What makes you say that?

True.  I literally spotted my husband across a crowded room when I was a sophomore in college and married him seven years later.  I decided I wanted to be a romance novelist when I was in high school and sold my first book fifteen years after I graduated. So yeah, with a little luck and hard work, dreams definitely come true.

Thank you Jami for being with us today!!   Ask your Qs for this Writer Mama and be sure to check out her newest release UNLEASHED, book 3 in her Gemini Men series:

Danny Taggart is the biggest badass of all the Gemini Men. And there’s only one thing a woman can do with a man this hot, hard, and ready for action…

He’s the oldest of the three Taggart brothers. And the boldest. Tall, dark, and rippling with muscle, Danny Taggart takes no prisoners. But when his latest case puts him up close and personal with the woman who once left him raw and aching, he’s shell shocked. Caroline Medford is stilll hotter than hell. But she’s also got her pretty grip on the thruths that have shaped him into the soul-ravaged warrior he is today. Burned once, Danny’s plan is to satisfy his craving for Caroline and walk away. Yet once he has her warm and willing beneath him, he can’t get deep enough – or close enough. Not even when danger threatens to destroy everything he’s ever fought for. Including the only woman he’s ever loved…

Visit Jami at her website, www.jamialden.com