MamaWriters are thrilled to welcome special guest Jennifer Haymore, whose recent release, A HINT OF WICKED made a splash, well, almost everywhere! 
She also has a number of erotic releases under the name Dawn Halliday, and her most recent one, HIGHLAND OBSESSION, released this month.
And she does it all with three young children at home. So help us welcome Jennifer Haymore!
(And she’s giving away a copy of her recent release, HIGHLAND OBSESSION, so be sure to say Hi!)
Calgon, Take Me Away…
I have three (four, if you count my husband) wild children, a home to keep clean, a multitude of practical tasks to perform (I would perish without my calendar on hand at all times!) and combined with my writing deadlines, editing, blogging, etc. responsibilities—I have few precious moments just for myself.
You see, I’m one of those people who needs alone time.
I need to get away from it all sometimes, and I’m constantly working on the art of sporadic escapes—a few minutes here and a few minutes there wherever I can find them. The trick is to take them, recharge, and then get back to work without feeling guilty for taking that time away. It’s tough!
Sometimes e-mails can be a great escape for me. I belong to a few social writing groups, and talking to my writer friends can be a great way to unwind. I also use Twitter and Facebook to interact socially with friends, other writers, and readers. Hanging out with my “real-life” friends also provides me with escape. I try to go to a girls’ night out once in a while (actually, I’m long overdue for one of these!).
Sometimes I escape with my family. Maybe it’s going out to dinner or playing a board game or watching a baseball game or a movie. It’s best if it’s not at home (home is a reminder of all the things I need to do, and it becomes tempting to multi-task something practical, which prevents me from really escaping).
But alone time? Just-for-me time? It’s soooo rare. I try to read as much as I can, but usually I feel guilty or am distracted by more 
“pressing” issues.
Just recently, I signed up for a year-plan at a massage place. That’s a one-hour massage once a month just for me! And when you’re lying on a massage table, nothing can distract you! I’m loving it so far!
How do you recharge your batteries? What do you do when you need alone time? And how do you stop yourself from feeling guilty when you take it?
(Remember, one commenter will receive a copy of Jennifer’s recent Dawn Halliday release, HIGHLAND OBESESSION! Be sure to we have your email address, either by leaving it in the post or the ‘sign-in’ info when you leave a reply. )
Jennifer
Twitter: http://twitter.com/jenniferhaymore
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/jenniferhaymore
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First: We always count the hubby in the kid count.
Second: A message a month? Green with envy over here *pointing at myself.
What a great idea!
catherinebybee@yahoo.com
Hey, Jennifer. I don’t feel guilty when I take ‘me’ time. I look at that me time as a chance to refresh and wipe off all that stress. I think it makes me a better mom and wife. (It’s all in the wording on making it work without the guilt.)
Sometimes my ‘me’ time can be throwing on the headphones and playing on the computer in the living room while the husband and kid are watching tv. I’m there if I’m REALLY needed, but at the same time, I’ve been taken so far away. But I have to say, I’d rather have your massage!
Before I got pregnant…me time involved a thorough massage every quarter. Now…I was just trying to figure that out in the shower. What can I do for me? Still haven’t come up with an answer, sad to say. Shopping is out. No point buying clothes until after the baby comes. Drinks? That one’s obviously out as well. I’ll have to think on this some more.
Great post, Jen! When I want to escape, I run to the nearest movie theater—alone. Two hours alone in a cold theater and I’m ready for just about anything. And I agree, my writing friends are the people who keep me sane. A group of us go out to dinner every 2 weeks and I really don’t know what I’d do without that break.
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
My me time usually involves wine. LOL
Seriously, we live in Wine country, and some of the best wineries have day spas or fine dining — and when I save up enough pennies, (and properly bribe my hubby or the 12 yo girl next door) and I meet my girlfriends for wine tasting.
It’s essential, at times, to get out and remember WHO you are under all the Momeeeeeeeeeeeee cries and chaos of trying to work, write, raise kids, and keep the house in some semblance of order!
Great post! and nice to meet you!
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi Jennifer,
I just realized I’m due for a GNO too! I better get on that. Most of my “me” time is spent on the computer, although the me time mixes in with the work time and it doesn’t seem like me time anymore. Or work time, for that matter. Oh boy.
Hi Jennifer! My kids are grown so it is easier to get “me” time! DH likes to watch movies – most of which we have seen at least once! So I go in a corner of the room to do computer blog/chat or reviews! In the mornings I walk or swim to get my day going!
I do feel guilty about not spending more time with my son. But I love to write. When I can pick what I want to do, I always choose to write. As for being alone, I do love my alone time!
Catherine, I’ll remember the husband-always-included-in-kid-count-rule! LOL!
Keri, you’re right! I am so all-or-nothing, sometimes I think I need to remember to take pleasure in the relaxation of those stolen moments.
Emma, You’re right–it IS hard when you’re pregnant! How about a night out (sans alcohol, of course!) with friends?
Thanks, Kate. You know, I’ve never gone to a movie alone. I’ll have to try that!
Great to meet you, too, Ashley. Eek! I’ve never been to a wine tasting too! That’s something I seriously need to remedy.
Viola, I have the same problem. “Me time” at the computer doesn’t really work anymore, because it’s all “things to do”, you know? It’s tough!
Martha, I need to get back to walking, or some sort of exercise. I have a hard time motivating myself, but once I do it, I really feel like I’m taking me time!
Hi Lori! Great to “see” you.
It’s great you feel like writing time is me time rather than work time! I love that coveted alone time, too!
Thanks to all the mamas for having me here!
Hi Jennifer/Dawn! I too include my hubby and cats too in that ‘children’ collection. Everyone always needing ‘mom’ here! My two kids are now older but still with us and sometimes its more to do here with all the adults but too more time to me since they have their own things to do as well. When I need that time to charge up, yep alot of it is that time to read, but too time away to read. I wished I had some sort of a den but instead use my room to just take that time for me to read and too I do some relaxation to help me deal with pain. So they know and so good to respect that time for me!
Hi Jennifer/Dawn! Highland Obsession sounds great! I read. I love to envision the characters and their world. It’s a great way to escape for a while.
Great post Jennifer!
Not feeling guilty when taking alone time is tough! I try to have a girls night every once in awhile also. Nationals was a great way for me to escape for almost a week! I read out on my deck on the weekends, I go shopping by myself… even grocery shopping by myself is a nice escape
Thanks for sharing!
Enjoyed reading the comments.
One time I made a list of the hours I spent doing housework, preparing meals, time with 2 sons, and time with my husband. I surprised myself that I could fit all of that in one day and surprisingly, I had no time to myself. So I made a new agenda, and plugged in time for me and went over it with my family. They could see why I needed to do this and they supported me.
Hey Jen!
Had to stop by and say “howdy”!
Me time, you ask? Geez, I’ve forgotten what that actually means.
I applaud you for taking the massage break and I hope it brings you all the relaxation that you deserve.
I have to work more on taking time for myself. This is a challenge for me because as a Mom…I always put my own needs last. Even when it comes to getting sleep!
My favorite “semi-escape” that I allow myself is that I’ve taken to listening to some books on CD when I’m driving in the car. If I don’t have time to sit down and read the book, this is a neat alternative.
Hi Jennifer. I lie on the bed and I read or watch a chick flick.
I’m a stay at home mom and hubby is a truck driver so during school I get plenty of me time. I’m loving the thought of a once a month massage. I’m thinking that just may by my request for a Christmas gift!
hi well for me i do my pen pal stuff and make
fb and atc and also i emil aughtoe and blg
and tlakto them ab ou ther books good luck with your thsi year
I go to a friends and we discuss many things over a cup of coffee for me time. I also go up to the computer and play Mah Jong to relax.
yourstrulee(at)sasktel(dot)net
I go and read a book or play on the computer to get some personal time. As for feeling guilty I don’t really as the only ones depending on me is my guy and he is good about it and kitties and they can amuse themselves.
Hi Caffey! Oooh, yes, I forgot the kitty! LOL. Yes, reading can be the best escape ever, I agree. And, Amy, you’re right. There’s nothing like escaping into a completely different world for a while!
Eliza, I hear you about grocery shopping alone! It can be sooo relaxing especially when you’re used to doing it with three grumpy kids!
Joye, that’s awesome! I wish I could see a copy of that–my family totally needs to see it! You’re so organized!
Kerri, I know. Sometimes we forget to take time for ourselves, but I think it adds up! I have been listening to books on CD in the car, too! Just got an Elizabeth Lowell book!
Crystal, I wish Mr. Haymore would let me watch more chick flicks…but I get tired of his moaning about them, lol.
Sherry, I would highly recommend that! I just had one on Monday night–I was swaying when I got out of there. I’m sure people thought I was inebriated. I was just sooooooo relaxed!
Thanks, Desiree! I’m intrigued about your pen pals–I’ve never had one!
Robyn, I’ve never played Mah Jong (although I played a character in a play once who played it–hm, I’m guessing that doesn’t count). Maybe I should get together with some friends and we should learn. We do the bunco thing–I wonder how it compares!
Aw, Larena, your guy sounds great! But yeah, I have one kitty and she’s much lower maintenance than the kids (and the husband, for that matter! LOL!).
Thanks again, everyone! It was sooo great to read your comments!