Kris Kennedy
Eliza’s blog from yesterday prompted my blog of today. Thanks Eliza!
How do you handle your romances with kids in the home? Do you leave them lying around? What sorts of covers are on your books? And did/has your handling of this changed as your children got older?
I know don’t particularly want my son seeing some romance covers. Partly, b/c what’s often portrayed on the cover are fantasy images of psychological sexual relationships, & that can be a complicated notion for a little person.
Me: “No, sweetie, you’re right, I don’t usually swoon. How observant. And you don’t want your girlfriends doing it either. No, really. You don’t. Except perhaps in certain circumstances which YOU, of course, will not be experiencing until you’re 25. Maybe 26. Right? Right.” 
Also, romances are invariably books with deeper themes of love, sacrifice, and overcoming great odds, but a lot of covers sure don’t reflect that. The books are about transformation, and renewal of hope, and sacrifice in the service of a greater good or purpose. And even when the ‘target’ of the sacrifice isn’t the loved person, then it’s the love that gives them the strength (and hope) to do what they have to do.
Now, I admit, the gentleman on my cover is a cutie. And yes, I know my son’s ideas of m/f relationships will be drawn mostly from how he sees my husband & I interact. Still, I don’t want him seeing these ‘swooning woman/buff guy’ images and thinking that picture tells the important part of the story.
And maybe that’s because I don’t want him (or anyone else) thinking those images say something meaningful (or public?) about me.
England, 1152: After seventeen years of civil war, things are about to change...
But wait . . . my son knows me. Won’t it be a great lesson, then, to have him see these covers, see me reading them, see my books graced with them, and KNOW in his heart that I’m a smart, funny, engaged, constructive, complicated person?
Won’t that be good for his sense of how to approach the world: you can’t judge a book by its cover. Or a person.
And yet . .
I have to say, as I thought about this more, I realized that we’re the only genre where we would even talk about this. In large part, that’s because we’re women, and we talk about everything.
But also, it’s because the covers really are in need of talk. No other genre has such talk-worthy covers. And maybe that’s a good thing.
And maybe not.
What do you think?
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Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Hi Kris,
This is quite the dilemma, isn’t it? I think it depends on the mama writer’s comfort level, the age of the child, and the degree of explicitness on the cover. Your cover is pretty tame. Hot, but tame. I’d think a little boy would look at that and think “warrior” or “good guy.” Mom’s writing about good guys. Now, if it had two nekked people making out on it, then you’d have reason to hide it. LOL!
Personally, I love romance covers. The sexier the better. But I do see your concern as a mama.
HI Kris!!
Great post! I love romance covers personally, and you’re right, there is so much to talk about!
I wouldn’t mind if my kids saw your cover or other covers with a topless man. They see that when we go to the pool, beach or even their dad.
Its the covers where both people are half nude making out, or maybe in a sexual position that I don’t want them to see. My cover for LADY IN A BOX for example shows a woman in bra and panties, and a man topless kissing her neck, I don’t want them to see that…
But you’re right, I won’t hide what I do, or most of my books from the, simply because perhaps our children will be the ones to break the stigma–my mom is a smart, funny, educated woman who reads and writers romance, what do you mean its trash? I don’t think so!
Hugs!
Yes I said educated and then said I writer romance….oops!!!! I meant write
I never thought about it when my daughter was small, but then again, she wasn’t really into books back then, and I wasn’t writing. Now she reads racier stuff than I do. And we joke about the covers together.
I think as long as a parent explains what’s going on – tailored to whatever age the child is – then leaving romance novels lying around should be fine. Semi-naked people in a torrid embrace? They’re hugging before they go for a swim. ;o)
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
Kris,
Excellent question! My cover is sans people. So – just a thorny cactus on a stormy mountainside… but…
I remember growing up eying my own mother’s night table reads– curious with my own mama’s Victoria Holt books.
Who were those women in those flowing dresses? windswept hair? Yeah, they had men around. Usually open shirted hunks.
I was more interested in the dresses. Then, one day I opened one to read the blurb aloud to my big sister. I still remember the words from Judas Kiss: “Come, Pippa. Let me love you.”
We howled with laughter and teased my mom mercilessly for a full summer about “Pippa!”
The Conqueror is sitting, currently, on my kitchen table after a solid hour of alone time with it this morning – outside on the patio with the pond burbling and kids sleeping in. It’s cover is warped from sun and beach and pool last weekend.
Griffin’s returned to his castle. I can barely wait to get back to them. We’ll see if the girls even notice. more likely, my hubby will pick it up, frown at his reducing paunchy belly, and hit the gym. *snort!*
Happy 4th of July weekend, everyone!
ash
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Hey girls!!
Thanks for your thoughtful replies!
I have to admit, having been in the psychotherapy field for many years, I tend to eye the potential cliffs ahead with a bit more worry than others might. I know where & how things can go wrong. NOT relaxing. LOL
B.E.~ LOL on the reframe for the half-naked people. “Yes, sweetie, I know her pretty dress is half off. But see? In the corner? That’s her bathing suit. You can’t see it? Look harder.”
Viola~ You’re totally right about the warrior vs the about-to-get-it-on covers. But now we have a S.O.P. response: See above.
Ash~ Woot on THE CONQUEROR sitting outside on the porch! I love that it’s all warped from being wet and sandified. Just as a good book should be. You keep me updated on how Griffyn’s keeping your attention, k?
Commenting a tad late, but I leave mine laying aroundn all the time. My son doesn’t seem to notice or care, and my daughter thinks all the women in the flowy dresses are princesses. (She’s 3). She thinks it’s cool that mommy has princess books just like she does
Allegra