Mama Writers welcomes a Daddy Writer today! Thanks for having the courage to hang with us mamas, Walt. We are looking forward to hearing how the other half lives
The Twice-A-Week Scramble by Walt Mussell
Thank you to Kris Kennedy, who invited me, and to the rest of MamaWriters, for allowing me to be the first Daddy guest blogger. I hope the readers of this blog will find what I have to say interesting.
I usually write in the morning before I go to work. Sometimes I write at home, sipping coffee and typing away, before I make my long commute. Other days, I head out early for my favorite coffee shop, which is about one mile from my office. (The coffee’s great. The ambience is relaxing with jazz music. Refills are free and it’s $1 coffee on Mondays.) My habit of writing in the morning arose out of convenience. I work during the day. I spend early evenings with my two sons, helping them with homework, baseball, or scouts. In the late evening, after the kids go to bed, I re-connect with my wife.
The company I work for allows me to work from home twice a week and I take advantage of this benefit. On these two days, I take care of the kids, getting them dressed, fixing their lunches, and taking them to school. It allows my wife, a stay-at-home mom, the opportunity to sleep in.
The problem arises in that the morning, despite being the best time for writing, is not my most creative time. To get myself going, I spend fifteen minutes doing a sudoku and catching up on the political headlines. Then I start writing. I start slow. By my third (ok…fourth) cup of coffee, I’m in a groove. It may not be great writing, but it’s fresh, new, and I feel like I am making progress.
And then it hits me. I need to watch the clock. To get my boys to school on time, I need to wake them up around 7:30. As I approach the zero hour, I begin glancing at my clock: 7:10…7:20…
And then I forget.
Sometimes I do realize it’s 7:30 and I think. Ah, just a couple more lines. They can sleep a little longer. I look at the clock again…and it’s 7:45 or even 7:50.
Words pop in my head that I won’t write here. But I rush upstairs, frantic, and wake my kids. My 11-year old stumbles downstairs, bleary-eyed, and fixes himself some breakfast. My 7-year old refuses to budge and I wake him through a combination of cajoling and tickling.
When both kids are downstairs, I began making their lunch. Somewhere in the middle of a peanut butter sandwich, I realize it would be more efficient if I went ahead and got the boys their clothes so they could get dressed. I run upstairs and rip through their drawers, looking for clothes, and then I toss my findings over the second floor railing into two piles on the couch in the den. From there, I head downstairs to finish their lunches, while my kids dress. Sometimes, the boys discover I threw down the wrong sizes and I have to search the dryer to find something else.
Lunches made, kids dressed, the boys and I head to the garage. I open the garage door and a cold whoosh strikes me…and my boys are in short sleeves. I search for their jackets and find my older son’s, hanging where it should be. However, I can’t locate my younger son’s jacket anywhere. Finally, I ask my little guy where his jacket is. He leads me to the living room, where he left it on the floor yesterday when he got home from school.
I’ve been going though days like this twice a week for the last several months. You think by now I would establish a system. I could make the lunches when I first get up in the morning. I could prepare their clothes the night before and lay them out. This way, I could enjoy morning time with the boys a little more. I could stop scrambling like crazy. There are several things I could do to make my mornings easier. The kids may need to go school, but by now Daddy should have learned something, too.
Any suggestions for me? I’d like to ask my wife, but when I remember to do so, she’s usually asleep.
Again, MamaWriters, thanks for having me.
Walt
Check out Walt’s Links:




Fabulous post Walt!!! Welcome to Mama Writers–how fun to have a daddy writer!
I honestly can’t answer your question about making the mornings easier, because your morning sounds like mine and I’ve been doing it for 3 years, but I just can’t seem to make lunches until the last minute–or I fork over some lunch money. As far as clothes…I’m lost, sometimes my daughter has to change several times…and the jacket–I do have an answer for this. When she comes home, she has to place her jacket on the chair by the front door or hang it in the closet. Now shoes are another story. The child has 400 pairs but when it comes time to put them on for school, she has 400 left shoes and no matches, lol.
I’ll have to have my hubby read your post. He works from home a few days a week, and I’d LOVE to sleep in!!!
Cheers and good luck with the morning schedule! Sometimes I think I thrive better in all the chaos.
It may not work. My wife’s biggest complaint is that the kids wake her up anyway because they can’t find things and I don’t know where anything is located.
Apologize for the late response. I have been swamped at work.
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Walt ~
Great post!! Only now you’ve scared me with this glimpse into the future. My son is only 4 y.o., so he’s up anywhere between 5:30-6:30am. But I’m aware I should cherish these times, when he’s up and awake and excited, and we have no time pressures but self-imposed ones.
Thanks for being here, as our first PapaWriter.
~Kris
Kris,
Thanks for inviting me. I’ll be happy to come back anytime.
Walt
Hi Walt! Fabulous post! It’s nice to see how a Daddy Writer feels about juggling parenthood and writing. I’ve given this link to my hubby as well.
As far as mornings go, we have an early riser–say about 5AM, sometimes earlier (but, God bless him, it was after 6AM today!), so we are tired most of the time…
But he’s only a toddler, so there is no rushing out the door for school yet.
Thanks for being with us here today. It was great to get a man’s opinion!
Renee
Renee,
Thanks for writing. Sometimes my 7-year old comes down early in the morning, jut so he can fall asleep next to me while I write.
Walt, thanks for being here. I admire all daddy and mama writers who manage to write while holding down a day job and being a parent. I don’t know how you find the time!
Unfortunately, I don’t have any suggestions for you. Mornings are crazy at my house!
Helen
One of the members of my writer’s group says that I am lucky in that I have a wife and that she wants one, too. I am lucky in that aspect.
Hi Walt! WOW! You’re a hero in my estimation- I think I forgot what sleeping in is. LOL
Kudos for wanting to be home with your kids. I think that’s awesome!
I’m a big person for organization. Everything you suggested is what I would be doing. Prepping the night before is a pain but that little step will save you loads of stress in the AM. (I have three toddlers. I live by this! LOL)
Great post!
While I like to think that I would have let my wife sleep in eventually, my wife did insist that I get into this habit early on of letting her get some rest. It started right about the time each of our kids switched to bottle feeding.
Great to have you here, Walt! I have found if I don’t get the clothes out the night before and make lunches then too we will never leave the house on time. Like you, I am not a morning writer. I write at night–late at night–but I am able to do this only because my husband gets up at 4:30 for work, so he isn’t around for much grown-up time later in the night anyway. Really it seems perseverence is all there is to it. Someday the kids will be older and not require so much time, for now I am just trying to make the best of all the worlds I encounter–day job, night job, the all day kid and wife job… Oh, and get by on little sleep and an often messy house.
Good luck to you!
~ jodi
Jodi,
Thanks. I dod write late at night, too, but that time to connect with my wife is important. She will wait up to talk with me for only so long.
Walt
Great post! My wife and I both work from home and now we know what we have to look forward to when our 19 month old son gets to school age. My wife can sympathize with you writing in the mornings. Currently my wife gets up early to do some writing before I have to get ready for work (I just cannot function without a shower in the morning) so I get out of bed when our little one wakes up and I watch him until my wife comes strolling out of her office. I just don’t know how she gets any good writing done that early in the morning. Take if from someone who is fairly organized, I find that all of my organization has gone out the window since our son arrived in our house.
Non-writing dad…..Tracy
Everyone–this is MY hubby! LOL. Thanks, Tracy!
Renee
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Well, welcome Daddy-HUbby! Glad to see you here.
~ Kris
Tracy,
I was never really organized to begin with, so anything I can do to make me more productive in the morning is a good thing. As for me, I can wait on the shower, but I need my coffee.
Hi, Walt! Boy, do I remember those days. My three sons are now all grown, the youngest in college now. But I do remember what it was like to have to watch the clock. My biggest fear was that I’d space on the time and leave them stranded somewhere. With three boys, I went through some hectic years where I had to deal with scouts and baseball schedules. As the main family chauffer, I also had to be there to drop off or pick up one of them.
That’s so nice of you to let your wife sleep in. I never had that luxury since my husband works outside the home and always had to be in to work early.
Susan,
Sounds like my evening tonight. I’m taking my younger son to baseball practice, but we have to leave early so I can take him to scouts. Tonight’s important. He’s being promoted.
LOL, Walt! Such a great post! Loved the way you described your early morning scramble.
Cynthia,
Thank you for your kind comments.
Walt
You my friend are a rare commodity. How did your wife get so lucky, you want her to have the chance to sleep in. I can’t get my head around how great a guy you are.
Have you thought about using a tape recorder on your long trek to work? Then you could put your words into the computer later.
Very few men get it and you do. Amazing!
Mary,
Trust me, There are many things I do that would make you change your mind on that. I recorded a number of these irritations in a book I wrote about marriage. (Now, if I could only find an agent and a publisher, that would be great.)
Hi Walt–
I think your morning scramble sounds like fun. Launching clothes over the balcony, the suspense of wondering if lunches will be made it time, the clock ticking on mercilessly . . . I’ll bet your boys love it.
Kudos to you on making time for family and writing!
Anne,
Thanks for your kind words. I cut it close some days.
-Walt
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
Walt,
Are you sure you weren’t describing mornings at our house?!?! My daughters are still little, but to get them out the door for preschool – it’s the same hectic, chaotic mad dash.
You sound like an excellent daddy — my hubby takes over on Friday mornings, when I let him. I’m too much of a micro-manager– what is it with us wives?! I honestly wonder sometimes if he can do things when inside I KNOW he’s more than capable and the girls LOVE it when he takes over. Hm. Maybe it’s a fear that he’ll do things better than I do!
At any rate, finding time to write is always a challenge. Life, sleep, work, blogs all get in the way. Well done for getting your pages written, regardless. So nice to know you!
~Ashley
Ashley,
Micro-management can always be considered a form of love…at least from one point of view.
Thanks for your kind words.
Walt
Hi Walt,
Great post. I love hearing about dads who are involved in their kids’ lives. My DH is that way, too. Makes the best kids!
~Diane
Diane,
I’m always aware of how little time I have left with them (as they grow so fast). Hopefully, I’m making the most of it.
Walt
Fun post! I feel like I was deprived as a child. I was an early riser. My dad went to work at 6:30 so I’d get up to make sure I could say goodbye to him. Then it was early morning cartoons with my bowl of cereal until I had to get dressed. My mom made me dress myself, but she did do my hair. However, it’s not as nice as it sounds because she could be a bit rough with the tangles. As for homemade lunches…I don’t think so. We got two dollars a day…a fortune back then. I’d try and keep a quarter for the ice cream truck after school.
Kudos to you for being such an active father!
Emma,
Thanks. I understand the Dad being an early riser thing. I used to have a job where I started between 5:00 a.m. – 6:00 a.m. every morning. My wife worked more normal hours. and she would take the kids in for daycare. I had no idea what happened in the mornings. However, as I finished at 3:00 every day, I got the kids out of daycare early and then fixed dinner at home. (I thought it silly to wait for my wife to get home to make dinner.)
-Walt
Oh, Walt. That is a wonderful look at how Dads do the Mommy thing. Delightful. Thanks for that honest peak in to your Daddy world. Sounds like you have your process down pretty well.
-Martie