BRENDA NOVAK

Me time? What’s that???

My time has come around once again to post an entry on the MamaWriter’s Blog. And, just like last month, I’m late.

I’ve come to realize “me time” is not something we writers take time out for. When was the last time you went for a walk, just you? Or poured yourself a glass of wine and watched a chick flick? When was the last time you had a spare moment and you didn’t go running to your computer to sneak in some writing before anyone discovered your whereabouts? If you’re like me, your “me time” is eaten up immediately by your characters. Even your sleep is invaded by your characters, those selfish fictional beings. We dream about our characters, solve dilemmas in our stories we sometimes didn’t even know we had. When we want to run to the computer and jot them down before we forget, we are blind-sided by our daily tasks.

There is our morning routine and shooing the kids off to school, making coffee, breakfast (if you have time!), and then it is off to your day job. Once the emergencies and fires have all been dealt with at work, it’s time for lunch. Instead of spending a little “me time”, your characters refuse to leave you alone, so you pull out your trusty USB drive and plug it into the computer. “I’ll only write for half an hour, then I’ll go grab a bite to eat,” you tell yourself. So you are just about to type out the solution to their dilemma, but then you get an urgent call. Someone from Dept. X needs something that only you can do–and they need it in the next hour. You take the USB drive back out of the computer and drop it into your purse once again. No lunch for you as you complete the task requested of you during your lunch hour. Then you have a whole new set of emergencies and fires to deal with that take up the rest of your afternoon. Quitting time comes and goes, and you are still at the office.

Finally you reach a stopping point and hurry home to scrounge something up for dinner. After your teenagers complain about what you made and everyone eats it anyway, you then clean off the table and clean the kitchen. You finally have time to get that solution written so you scurry away before anyone notices and stick your USB drive into your computer. You even get as far as opening up your document when the questions start.

“Mom, where’s my pencil?”
“Mom, do we have any lined paper?”
“Honey, why’s the dog throwing up?”

You spend the next hour finding a pencil, all the lined paper in the house, and cleaning up dog puke. Ahhh… Bedtime for kids. You make sure their homework is done and then you argue with them for the next 20 minutes about their bedtime. Once they go to bed, you take a breath and head back to your computer. Oh, wait. Here comes hubby wanting some attention. So you set your story aside for a little QT with the DH.

Now it’s your bedtime. But wait! You still haven’t gotten that solution down in writing. You tell your DH you’ll be to bed in a bit and sit down to finally write. Not only does the solution evade you at this point, but you’ve got writer’s block. Thus is the life of the busy mama. It sounds hectic, I know. But it doesn’t have to be.

As a writer, and a mother, and a wife, and a woman with a full-time job in a profession dominated by men, I often–if not always–put others ahead of myself. I’ve come to realize, however, that if I’m not happy then my family isn’t happy. If I don’t get some “me time,” I’m one cranky girl. I often write about balance. When you are a writer, your stories demand a lot of your attention. You have to find the time to write or I’m a firm believer that you will go insane. My family understands that. If I need time to write, I let the family know they are on their own for dinner (fend for yourself night is what we call it), or I tell the DH he gets me all day on Sunday, but I get me all day Saturday. I negotiate my time with my family. They sometimes fight it, and they sometimes should. But don’t you forget to fight for your “me time.” You deserve it, and your family deserves to have a happy mama.

Allie K. Adams writes HOT romantic suspense and even HOTTER menages as Eve Adams. Please stop by her website to learn more about her books, or just to say hi! http://www.alliekadams.com.