Last week, while in the grocery store, I stood in line, looking over the tabloids (hmm, “Brangelina” versus Aniston yet again…) and realized I wasn’t standing. I was swaying. You alllll know the sway. It’s that Mother Sway you start doing when your child is newborn and needs to be soothed.
Now, my son is going to be 3 years old next week so we’re long past the age where he fits in the crook of my arm and needs to be reminded of the womb. But still, I stand there, reading the magazine headlines, practically slow dancing in the aisle. I can always tell which other women around me are mothers because the ones who aren’t look at me as if I just stepped out of the nearest sanitarium.
But still, I sway.
Because I’m a writer (and I knew I had a blog topic to come up with), I started coming up with a list of other things that have become second nature to me, things I do without thinking. And no surprise, but most of those things lined up on either the Mama aisle or the Writer aisle.
As a Mama, I react to the slightest noise of a baby. If it’s mine, it’s usually within milliseconds of hearing a breath. But it’s pretty much any child nearby. I never used to do that before having my son.
As a Writer, I am constantly listening (okay, I admit it, eavesdropping) on conversations around me, looking for something funny, interesting, eye-opening. Since I am one of the “writer from the womb” type of writers, this has been second nature as long as I can remember. But it’s an ingrained habit that I don’t think about until long after I’ve remembered it’s not nice to eavesdrop. (Does it count if you don’t consciously realize you’re doing it?)
As a Mama, I am acutely aware of where the people in my house are. Mostly my son, but not just him. Everyone. At all times. In years past, I was good at delving into something and getting very tunnel-visiony. Not so much anymore. Now I always have one corner of an eye roaming the room, looking to confirm locations of my loved ones like a radar beacon.
As a Writer, I watch people. I remember being on a vacation in Maui with my husband. We were sitting in a restaurant, and I was entertaining myself by looking at the people around us. Ultimately, I got my husband involved in the game. Based on their body language, based on their facial expressions, we tried to imagine how the people sitting together were connected. The couple at this table was on a first date that was not going well, based on their awkwardness, the roving eyes looking anywhere but each other, the girl’s tapping foot under the table and the guy’s grasp on the edge of the booth as if he was ready to hop out at any moment. The foursome at that table were family. Comfortable, laughing and yet snappy all at the same time.
This is a game I play every day. In fact, it’s given me some great characters and storyline concepts at times. Everywhere I go, I find myself trying to figure out how people are related. When I used to work outside of my home, it was a favorite hobby while I was sitting in traffic.
These are just a few of the things that came to mind…and ultimately, it made me realize yet again how integral both roles are to who I am. From my very first written story at the age of six, I couldn’t imagine not writing. I couldn’t see any other path for myself. Now that I’m a mother, I cannot imagine who I was before or who I would be without my son in my life.
Both of these things came into my life at very different points… I became a writer at the age of six. At the age of 33, I became a mother. And yet both make up some of the biggest reasons I am who I am today.
It certainly makes me wonder what other aspects of myself are yet to be discovered.
What about you? What are some of your “Mama” or “Writer” traits?



Can’t speak for the swaying as a Dad, but I do know that grocery stores are a place where my younger son and I sometimes perform duets. And then people look at us strangely.
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
Walt, that’s great! LOL That must be a father/son thing, because I know my husband has his own grocery store thing with our son, too…and he says they usually get stared at, as well. LOL
As a mother: I realized the other day that I’ve developed this irritating habit of constantly teaching – with everyone, including strangers. It’s hard to explain, but imagine someone in the grocery store making an innocuous comment that leads to an explaination how ketchup is made. (Not a real example, but you get the point.)
As a writer: I’m always in edit mode. Typos on TV. Newspaper articles that could use better wording. Proofing books as I read them.
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
I totally understand what you mean about typos. For me, that’s a blend of writer/designer…I notice them in marketing materials all the time.
Oh, I suppose I forgot one of my “Writer Traits” that tends to drive people the most crazy…I’m always trying to figure out how I would write the ending to a show or a movie. My older brother used to go nuts if we went to the movies together, because my mother and I would always whisper to each other and try to figure out the end.
I do it now, too, and my hubby wags a finger and tells me to shut the writer up and just watch.
Twitter: wiremamma
says:
Jeannie – you caught me. My girls and I spend so much time with our dear friends/neighbors that I find myself talking to her kids like they’re mine. And they LISTEN.
At DD#1′s b’day party, one little girl asked her mama for a coke, and I was standing right beside. Knowing there weren’t enough cokes for all the kids, I smiled, roughed her hair, and said, “No, sweetie. The kids are having juice.” THEN I went pale, b/c her mom was RIGHT there. Oops. Had to make her giggle, and quick.
I also do that “people-watch” game. When I’m waiting, at a restaurant, anywhere – really… Stories about the people around us just pop in my head. I entertain the girls with them while stuck in line at a drive through, or on the way to gymnastics or dance. Now my daughters invent stories, too. It’s become quite a game.
Great post!
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
The people watch can really help time pass, doesn’t it? I usually have a book with me somewhere, but in case I don’t and I get stuck, that’s always how I entertain myself. People are fascinating!!
Love the kid thing! So true…once you’re in that mommy mode, it’s hard to stop. LOL
Love the comment on “the sway”… Once you have kids and adopt it, I don’t think it ever goes away. In fact, now that I think about it, I have this suspicion that the movement does as much to sooth ME as it did to sooth my babies. My theory goes something along the lines of … it’s why I can wait in a long line at a store or anywhere else without totally flipping out [because, believe me, patience is NOT one of my virtues!] But standing somewhere, with “the sway” kicked in, watching people around me, eaves…uh…listening to them [the writer part, as you say], time just flies by for me!
Thanks for pointing out those behaviors, Jeannie, and for making me actually think about how they slipped unnoticed into who I am!!!
~ Melissa
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
I never thought of it that way, Melissa, but you are so right…I think I still do the sway at those moments I need to be settled more. LOL
And yes, it’s listening. That’s it. Really.
I have a built-in “Mama timer” that goes off if my daughter has been silent for too long. Uh-oh, must be trouble!
How that aspect relates to writing…perhaps the guilt-meter if it’s been too long since I wrote something new LOL.
A joke I heard goes that an older lady stopps her cart next to a young woman’s half-filled cart in the grocery aisle. The older lady turns to the young woman and asks, “How old is your baby?” The young woman smiles and says, “How did you know I have a baby?” The older woman says, “You’re rocking your cart.”
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
ROFL!! I love that joke! It’s so true. And yes, I completely relate to the Mama-timer. As long as you hear them, it’s usually safe to assume they aren’t getting into trouble.
I remember one time with my little brother (he is 8 years younger than me) — he was about 2 at this time, and I had realized he was being very, very quiet (can’t remember where my mother was). I went looking for him and found him in the pantry. He had opened up everything he could get his hands on, from flour to cereal to syrup to oil and then some, and dumped it on the floor. Then he had proceeded to SIT in it, play with it. Yes, it was a complete mess.
But it stuck in my head, so now my son usually only gets the time it might take him to pick UP a bag of flour before I go searching. LOL
Oh, yeah, the listening thing. My boys are teenagers, but I still hear them when they get up at night. They’ll never be able to sneak out of the house, LOL. And I also find myself listening to everything around me, and when I find something interesting, I often work it in to a story. Great post, Jeannie!
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
It goes along with that question writers always get, how much of your life is in your stories? if only they knew how much of everyone else’s life was…. LOL (well, not really, but the concept at least.) I always find it funny how something really small and simple from someone’s conversation, just a turn of phrase or an emotion coming through, can spark a story idea.
Twitter: violaestrella
says:
Great topic, Jeannie!!
We just can’t seem to turn off the mama and the writer in us. Very true. It’s why I love (some) reality TV, like the Bachelor (don’t get me started on what happened last night), Survivor and The Amazing Race. I’m addicted to watching and analyzing people. I can look at one of the women on The Bachelor and think, wow, she’d make a great character, but she needs a serious character arc. Maybe if this or that happened to her, she’d loosen up a little, or gain a little more self-esteem. Geez, I probably sound like a nut right now, but it’s true. Everything and everyone is a possible story or character. I can’t stop my mind from veering off onto that path. And, yes, I know what you mean by the swaying. LOL! It has such a calming effect!
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
No, really? I can’t get you started on that debacle from last night’s The Bachelor show? LOL I had actually heard the rumors long before the show aired and I had sort of fun trying to imagine up endings.
You know, and actually I think part of the problem with last night’s show (sorry for anyone who has no clue what we’re talking about ) is something a WRITER knows ALL about. MOTIVATION!!! I think they needed to give The Bachelor a more understandable motivation to do what he did.
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
B.E. ~
Oh, I SO get the ‘teaching’ gene that gets switched on once you’re a mom. I can’t stand it! LOL
I think it’s what I was really getting at in my blog here last week, about being tired of hearing your own voice. You can’t just say “No,” you’re biologically DRIVEN to explain and educate.
I’m learning fight the urge, tho. Maybe there’s hope. LOL
~Kris
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
Hmmm…are you related to my hubby? LOL He’s not a mama, but he’s the type who, if you ask him if it’s supposed to rain in the next few weeks, he’ll tell you Yes or No and then spend ten minutes WHY.
He’s so cute.
Twitter: KrisKennedy
says:
Jeannie ~
What a great topic!
I agree with B.E., about the being unable to stop teaching, as a mom. Stinks, actually. LOL
I also LOVE seeing a mom do The Rock. I’ve stopped–for the most part!–doing it, but I love when I see someone do it. And as son as I pick ups someone else’s baby, I immediately get it back.
I think it’s gotta be very soothing to us too, actually.
As a writer . . . I definitely need to adopt more of what you girls are speaking about the watching people. Then I might not revert to “he lifted his brows” as my dialogue tag every single time.

~Kris
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
ROFL! But, don’t people lift eyebrows all the time?
I know what you mean — action tags are the worst.
At the moment, I’m not feeling like a very good mother or writer. But I suppose there are always moments like these. Moments when everything seems so chaotic that it will never calm down.
Renee
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
Hey Renee, Hang in there!!! You’ve got a million things going, and you’re doing just fabulous.
Jeannie,
I am soooo glad I’m not the only one who eavesdrops and people-watches obsessively! :0)
Tiffany
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
We’re not eavesdropping, we’re listening. BIG difference.
And because we’re writers, we have a built in excuse other than “Nosy.” LOL
This made me smile
My kids are 18 and 14 and I still do the Mom Sway.
Twitter: jeannieruesch
says:
Hi Pamela! STILL? So I guess I can look forward to doing it forever. LOL Thanks for stopping by!